Very wealthy family member gets very cheap gifts

[Anonymous]

Some people (especially narcissists) are terrible gift givers.

My stepfather was a doctor and my mother inherited a lot of money, and yet she "stocked up on wedding gifts" when she saw some ugly Mikasa serving platters at Big Lots for 9.99. They wrapped one of these up and took it every time they were invited to a wedding.

Some people just don't have social skills, and gift-giving is a social skill.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are expecting a lavish gift. That’s why you feel insulted. At least be honest with yourself.

Why do you think this person owes you a lavish gift?

[Anonymous]

I stopped buying souvenirs a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

I would find this a bit obnoxious in that I wouldn't expect a gift, but if they are going to give one it shouldn't be cheap pointless crap if they're so wealthy. So I would say to them let's stop exchanging gifts after trips.

[Anonymous]

I went out to dinner with a man and his family who have upwards of $1 billion in wealth. He had just donated $50 million to a good cause. When the bill came, he said he would cover the wine and that we could all split the check. I have no hard feelings over that. I have the money to pay for my own dinner and it was nice for him to pay for the wine. We're not entitled to receive anything from other people, and you would do well to remember that OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone enjoys shopping for gifts when traveling. I never expect people to bring me back souvenirs. You should stop giving gifts if you expect reciprocation.

But they are reciprocating, that's not the issue. OP is asking if she should feel insulted and start buying them less nice gifts.

They are not reciprocating in her view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not bring back gifts for people when I travel. If you do, that would sound weird to me. It's nice that she even thinks of you to bring a souvenir.

I only JUST found out that's a thing some people (circles?) do like a year before the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went out to dinner with a man and his family who have upwards of $1 billion in wealth. He had just donated $50 million to a good cause. When the bill came, he said he would cover the wine and that we could all split the check. I have no hard feelings over that. I have the money to pay for my own dinner and it was nice for him to pay for the wine. We're not entitled to receive anything from other people, and you would do well to remember that OP.

We have college friends who are very wealthy and never let us pick up the check or split or buy a bottle of wine. It makes me feel bad because we can afford it. We all started in the same place and now they have put themselves above us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not bring back gifts for people when I travel. If you do, that would sound weird to me. It's nice that she even thinks of you to bring a souvenir.

I only JUST found out that's a thing some people (circles?) do like a year before the pandemic.

It's also a thing in certain cultures.

[Anonymous]

My greatest generation multi millionaire parents often bring me and my kids free stuff like tote bags from conferences. They also get uncomfortable when we go to midrange chain restaurants or order alcohol, but insist on paying because they are the grownups. They have to be forced to buy new clothes. On the other hand, we have a generous college fund (thank you!). People are odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not bring back gifts for people when I travel. If you do, that would sound weird to me. It's nice that she even thinks of you to bring a souvenir.

I only JUST found out that's a thing some people (circles?) do like a year before the pandemic.

It's also a thing in certain cultures.

That doesn't mean it's uniform across people who share a cultural background. Accept the gift with thanks OP and move on. Not sure what you want people to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know what to make of, or how to reciprocate to this one extended family member. They are extremely wealthy, don't work and are always travelling private or business/ first to exotic destinations.
Every so often, they'll come back from one of their lavish trips with an extremely cheap gift such as a 2 oz jar of honey (for comparison, the free sample size you get at hotels is 1 oz), a shot glass, a 3 oz bar of chocolate, a cheap pen ...
This person does not spare any expense on themselves at all.

I don't make nearly as much as them but I always get proper gifts and put a lot of thought into them. I know I should be thankful for any gift and I certainly am not expecting any lavish gift . I am not sure what to make of this and I feel insulted.

Thoughts?

OP, you always get proper gifts for them *when you travel*? Or just generally? Do you travel internationally and know what it is like to move in and out of airport security and customs?

They are giving you thing they bought at the airport. When traveling, it sucks to tote around a bunch of gifts, and sometimes there are customs issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped buying souvenirs a long time ago.

I do not give souvenirs to anyone, let alone "extended" family. I do not want anyone (me or others) to spend vacation time looking for thoughtful gifts. We should be present in the moment.

[Anonymous]

It's a hassle to bring back gifts from overseas. Not only do you have to deal with customs but you need to make room in your luggage. I only do it for my kids, nanny and best friend now.

[Anonymous]

A gift is a gift. You should be grateful they are thinking of you at all.