Friend has been ignoring my texts

[Anonymous]

As a really bad texter I'm shocked when people look that much into it. Some people just dont text all the time

[Anonymous]

I don’t know your friend but I’d stop talking to a friend who sent me a Bible verse. Is she really religious? If not, don’t push it.

I battle depression and sometimes I can’t text back. Usually I respond with a thumbs up or heart but I can’t muster the energy to respond.

[Anonymous]

You are making her difficult time all about you.

[Anonymous]

This is the difference between men and women. Men can go several months or even a few years and not speak with another guy. When they do meet up it's all good. Chat. Catch up. Etc.

When a women doesn't hear back from a "friend" for a month it's "OMG should I cut her off as a friend???". How about you just back the F up. If your "friend" messages you she messages you. If not, move on. Drama...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's probably annoyed about the bible verse and silly eclipse messages when she's grieving!

Yes! She didn't have the mental energy to engage in discourse around dumb topics. Hopefully you also asked how she was? Went to the funeral? Sent her flowers?

[Anonymous]

You’re annoying. Take the hint.

[Anonymous]

Are you kidding? You sound very needy. You must not have a lot of friends.

I have a childhood best friend who I have known for three decades. There have been years where she or I have not texted. You feel like this after a month???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re annoying. Take the hint.

Yeah an eclipse text when you had a death in the family does not require a response.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with previous posters. I think this is a sign she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, not that she is a bad texter or depressed--especially since you saw her at a social event. So take the hint and don't reach out. Focus on yourself and those who want to be friends with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with previous posters. I think this is a sign she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, not that she is a bad texter or depressed--especially since you saw her at a social event. So take the hint and don't reach out. Focus on yourself and those who want to be friends with you.

"Focus on yourself" is something the OP is already good at doing.

This reply above is off base. Seeing on social media that the friend was at a baby shower means nothing. OP (and you, PP) cannot possibly know whether the friend went to that event in an attempt to distract herself out of her grief, or was pressured by friends to do it (maybe to...distract her, get it?), or went and was happy and had fun for real -- and that has nothing to do with her relationship with OP at all. OP sounds very, very young and self-centered, especially with the focus on texting.

OP -- please realize that not everyone texts back to everything. Maybe she did previously and, gasp!, she's changing. That doesn't mean she's ditching you. ONE MONTH is no time at all in the span of any actual friendship. And it is very telling -- about you, OP -- that your first instinct is "She's being rude to me!" instead of "I hope she's doing OK, I know it's been a rough time." If you cared about her for herself and not just in terms of how much she pays attention to YOU, you'd be concerned rather than peeved. It has actually been less than a month since her relative died, and you're expecting her to respond to texts which aren't about anything at all. Of course an invitation to an event got precedence over your texts.

Please think hard about why you are immediately focused on yourself, your feelings, your "needs" from her, when she's the one who has had a death in the family.

I have a friend who didn't respond to some emails and texts for a long while and I've been worried, not pi$$ed. Because she has a life, and my first thought was that maybe her parents have had a health issue, or her work has create problems for her. See how that works? Put the other person first instead of being in a snit that you didn't get a quick reply. I never assume someone is rude or is ghosting me because they're actual friends and I know them and their lives.

Always assume the best of someone, not the worst. Show some grace. Realize that actually very little time has elapsed since this death in her family. Realize that her doing other things socially is not about you or your friendship. Contact her (maybe not by text) and tell her you're thinking of her and ask what you can do to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known her since college, although we weren’t particularly close, just solid friends. After college we began to talk more frequently then life got in the way and things fizzled out. We recently connected when we out we both relocated to the same city. Anyways, I know her aunt who she was really close to died on the 27th of last month; this is when she disappeared. I had texted her a Bible verse a couple of days after her aunt died - no response. Then something about the eclipse a couple of days later - no response. Then about a week after that, the day of the eclipse, I sent her another text about the eclipse asking if she was ready - again, no response.

I know she’ll end up reaching out me but I’m not sure if I should be friends with her after this. I get that she was grieving but to completely ignore my texts? That’s just incredibly rude.

Have you had to cut off friends for being wishy washy?

You offered her a platitude she clearly didn't enjoy after the death of her aunt. Then, a week and a half later, when she's probably busy with the funeral, you text her about the eclipse. Like she gives a crap about the sun going behind the moon when he aunt just died. Then you texted her AGAIN about the eclipse. And you can't figure out why she hasn't responded to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with previous posters. I think this is a sign she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, not that she is a bad texter or depressed--especially since you saw her at a social event. So take the hint and don't reach out. Focus on yourself and those who want to be friends with you.

The baby shower was obviously planned before her aunt’s death and OP said this was her best friend, so was she not supposed to show up?

You can still go to do things that were preplanned and be grieving and depressed and not have the energy to text or call people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with previous posters. I think this is a sign she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, not that she is a bad texter or depressed--especially since you saw her at a social event. So take the hint and don't reach out. Focus on yourself and those who want to be friends with you.

"Focus on yourself" is something the OP is already good at doing.

This reply above is off base. Seeing on social media that the friend was at a baby shower means nothing. OP (and you, PP) cannot possibly know whether the friend went to that event in an attempt to distract herself out of her grief, or was pressured by friends to do it (maybe to...distract her, get it?), or went and was happy and had fun for real -- and that has nothing to do with her relationship with OP at all. OP sounds very, very young and self-centered, especially with the focus on texting.

OP -- please realize that not everyone texts back to everything. Maybe she did previously and, gasp!, she's changing. That doesn't mean she's ditching you. ONE MONTH is no time at all in the span of any actual friendship. And it is very telling -- about you, OP -- that your first instinct is "She's being rude to me!" instead of "I hope she's doing OK, I know it's been a rough time." If you cared about her for herself and not just in terms of how much she pays attention to YOU, you'd be concerned rather than peeved. It has actually been less than a month since her relative died, and you're expecting her to respond to texts which aren't about anything at all. Of course an invitation to an event got precedence over your texts.

Please think hard about why you are immediately focused on yourself, your feelings, your "needs" from her, when she's the one who has had a death in the family.

I have a friend who didn't respond to some emails and texts for a long while and I've been worried, not pi$$ed. Because she has a life, and my first thought was that maybe her parents have had a health issue, or her work has create problems for her. See how that works? Put the other person first instead of being in a snit that you didn't get a quick reply. I never assume someone is rude or is ghosting me because they're actual friends and I know them and their lives.

Always assume the best of someone, not the worst. Show some grace. Realize that actually very little time has elapsed since this death in her family. Realize that her doing other things socially is not about you or your friendship. Contact her (maybe not by text) and tell her you're thinking of her and ask what you can do to help.

I think if OP contacted her again the woman would be annoyed. I understand what you are saying but at what point does someone realize that the other person isn't interested in talking to them anymore?

[Anonymous]

You need way too much attention. If you acted like this toward me with that entitled, pressure-fueled attitude, you would be cut.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

[Anonymous]

If someone from my past randomly texted me a bible verse and then more than one message about if I was ready for the eclipse, I would likely also not respond