Friend has been ignoring my texts

[Anonymous]

I’ve known her since college, although we weren’t particularly close, just solid friends. After college we began to talk more frequently then life got in the way and things fizzled out. We recently connected when we out we both relocated to the same city. Anyways, I know her aunt who she was really close to died on the 27th of last month; this is when she disappeared. I had texted her a Bible verse a couple of days after her aunt died - no response. Then something about the eclipse a couple of days later - no response. Then about a week after that, the day of the eclipse, I sent her another text about the eclipse asking if she was ready - again, no response.

I know she’ll end up reaching out me but I’m not sure if I should be friends with her after this. I get that she was grieving but to completely ignore my texts? That’s just incredibly rude.

Have you had to cut off friends for being wishy washy?

[Anonymous]

You're thinking about cutting off a friend who is likely depressed? Good lord. Not everything is about you.

[Anonymous]

She's probably annoyed about the bible verse and silly eclipse messages when she's grieving!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're thinking about cutting off a friend who is likely depressed? Good lord. Not everything is about you.

Then why not just tell me that she’s having a hard time?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are high maintenance if you think that you should be a priority over her grief. Don't reach out anymore. People don't need the overhead of friendships like yours. Just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you two are no longer friends. What's the big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're thinking about cutting off a friend who is likely depressed? Good lord. Not everything is about you.

Then why not just tell me that she’s having a hard time?

I guess you've never been depressed (fortunately). Its not that easy.

[Anonymous]

Did you just send a Bible verse or was it part of a larger message? Is she religious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're thinking about cutting off a friend who is likely depressed? Good lord. Not everything is about you.

Then why not just tell me that she’s having a hard time?

DP

Because she doesn't want to talk to you about it. Duh. Not everything is about you. Her depression is hers. If you want to be a friend, put it out there that you are available for her to talk and leave it. She may choose not to talk. And a friend would know that's ok. She may choose not to respond for months and a friend would be waiting when she's ready. Try thinking what SHE needs, not what YOU need - that's what a friend does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're thinking about cutting off a friend who is likely depressed? Good lord. Not everything is about you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are high maintenance if you think that you should be a priority over her grief. Don't reach out anymore. People don't need the overhead of friendships like yours. Just let it go.

I get that but it’s been about a month and no word from her. Her best friend (went to school with her too so we’re friends on social media) had a baby shower last week and I saw her in the pictures, so it’s not like she’s in her room upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known her since college, although we weren’t particularly close, just solid friends. After college we began to talk more frequently then life got in the way and things fizzled out. We recently connected when we out we both relocated to the same city. Anyways, I know her aunt who she was really close to died on the 27th of last month; this is when she disappeared. I had texted her a Bible verse a couple of days after her aunt died - no response. Then something about the eclipse a couple of days later - no response. Then about a week after that, the day of the eclipse, I sent her another text about the eclipse asking if she was ready - again, no response.

I know she’ll end up reaching out me but I’m not sure if I should be friends with her after this. I get that she was grieving but to completely ignore my texts? That’s just incredibly rude.

Have you had to cut off friends for being wishy washy?

If only there were some sort of explanation for why she hasn't been responsive.... Like if you knew something big happened...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are high maintenance if you think that you should be a priority over her grief. Don't reach out anymore. People don't need the overhead of friendships like yours. Just let it go.

I get that but it’s been about a month and no word from her. Her best friend (went to school with her too so we’re friends on social media) had a baby shower last week and I saw her in the pictures, so it’s not like she’s in her room upset.

You are clueless lady.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe folks would cut off a friend after less than a month of silence. Play the long game here. There are situations where years of silence, or very intermittent communication, are really communicating a need for MORE support, not less.

This is when you send a message to her - maybe a card? - telling her you love her, are sorry for her loss, and look forward to hearing from her *when she is up to it.*

Or send her a text that says, no need to reply, just sending love.

Be there. Friendship isn't about what you get from somebody else. It is about what you GIVE to somebody else.

Stop expecting to be the sun she orbits around. You aren't. Be the friend who is a planet in the same solar system, being there for the time that your orbits align.

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest. You're interested in her romantically. Otherwise it wouldn't be such a big deal.