Can anyone explain the obsession with adjoining rooms (extended family)

[Anonymous]

We just went away with our college age kids. It was nice to have adjoining rooms. Easy to go back and forth without keys etc. We all watched a movie in one room in the evening. There was some pj wearing. Drink grabbing power cord needs. It was helpful but not a requirement. I would probably only do it with my kids though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

What is interesting here is that you characterize people with different preferences than you as pushy and obsessive. The reason you have for your preference is that you think you can hear more noise coming from the adjoining room. Valid, but not overly compelling- particularly when you say you don't spend a lot of time in the room. Reasons people have for wanting adjoining rooms is less overall hassle and noise for everyone to visit when they don't have to go into the hall with a key and open/close the doors. Also valid, but not overly-compelling.

You can do what you want and do what you prefer. Don't have to make this a right/wrong thing and negatively characterize people with other preferences. They could be calling you obsessive about NOT having adjoining rooms.

But people who insist on adjoining rooms are by definition insisting on invading your privacy! That’s pushy.

First, they clearly didn't insist, because it isn't happening. OP and DH said no, so it isn't happening and the vacation still is. So they let it go.
Second, is somebody who wants to book a lake house for extended family or friend group also "insisting on invading privacy"?

[Anonymous]

Just say no. Their preferences don’t trump yours, and there is zero need for this. If they push and you don’t have kids with you, say suggestively that adjoining rooms mean you can hear almost everything and you and DH want to have “ALONE time.”

Otherwise, just say no and book your own room. I don’t even want to be on the same floor, so your relatives are ahead!

[Anonymous]

I would never do joining rooms/suites unless we are travelling/doing everything together and at the same time. We travel with our inlaws this way but we are always together, have an open door policy, and they don't make loud noise at nighttime. Otherwise, no adjoining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

Isn’t this a repeat from a few months ago?

[Anonymous]

Is this an older woman travelling alone, maybe a widow who finds hotel rooms alone slightly scary?

Are they referring to minors needing to have an adjoining room?

If not...no. No reason to insist on that.

Even in scenario room, better the elderly woman gets used to it rather than making it so the younger people can't have privacy.

Just book your own room yourself and put in the notes you do not want an adjoining door even if someone else calls and asks to be paired with you

And thank your lucky stars they prefer hotel rooms over some Airbnb house where you definitely don't have privacy.

[Anonymous]

Eh, it’s 6 of one or 1/2 dozen of another.

Neither are inherently evil or inherently awesome.

You don’t want MIL or FIL to knock on your door while you’re doing the deed, or worse, flossing. Fair enough.

So just say it’s a no go & put your earplugs in when they try to argue the case for family pj movie nights.

With family, you have to realize that you can make them happy OR you can make yourself happy. Either one is fine- just pick one & go with it.

[Anonymous]

Guess you better prop a chair under the connecting doorknob and be very quiet when you go to bed.

[Anonymous]

We do with my mom but she is alone and has some dementia- gives us & her comfort, sense of safety.
Wouldn't do it with another couple unless it's with my kids but def not huge preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

Are my my sister in law? Bc DH’s parents are observant it drives us both nuts