Can anyone explain the obsession with adjoining rooms (extended family)

[Anonymous]

DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

[Anonymous]

I totally agree - only adjoining rooms with my own kids and even that is getting unnecessary. But some families are weird, OP.

[Anonymous]

My parents too. It's weird. With the kids, it's nice to be able to send the kids through for the bathroom I guess? But otherwise I love my parents but don't need to share a wall or door.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you! The ones who push for it act like it is some huge deal, and it’s just not. DH and I are on the same page, so it’s not changing, I just wanted to see if we were “missing” anything because those who push for it are ridiculously pushy and adamant. I’m to the point where DH and I are just going to book our own room (we always pay for our own) and let the chips fall where they may if there’s more whining. We are totally open to being on the same floor, across the hall, or even next door, but adjoining rooms are so noisy, and there’s no clear benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you! The ones who push for it act like it is some huge deal, and it’s just not. DH and I are on the same page, so it’s not changing, I just wanted to see if we were “missing” anything because those who push for it are ridiculously pushy and adamant. I’m to the point where DH and I are just going to book our own room (we always pay for our own) and let the chips fall where they may if there’s more whining. We are totally open to being on the same floor, across the hall, or even next door, but adjoining rooms are so noisy, and there’s no clear benefit.

Certain people have different preferences than you.
Some people like to open up the space and be able to freely walk back and forth (at times) as though it was a suite-like situation. They prefer not going out into the hall and opening and closing doors (creating more noise for other guests). They think it is more convenient for casual interaction while getting ready, winding down.

To be clear, I am not one of those people. But I don't think I am inherently "right" and they are inherently "wrong."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

What is interesting here is that you characterize people with different preferences than you as pushy and obsessive. The reason you have for your preference is that you think you can hear more noise coming from the adjoining room. Valid, but not overly compelling- particularly when you say you don't spend a lot of time in the room. Reasons people have for wanting adjoining rooms is less overall hassle and noise for everyone to visit when they don't have to go into the hall with a key and open/close the doors. Also valid, but not overly-compelling.

You can do what you want and do what you prefer. Don't have to make this a right/wrong thing and negatively characterize people with other preferences. They could be calling you obsessive about NOT having adjoining rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

What is interesting here is that you characterize people with different preferences than you as pushy and obsessive. The reason you have for your preference is that you think you can hear more noise coming from the adjoining room. Valid, but not overly compelling- particularly when you say you don't spend a lot of time in the room. Reasons people have for wanting adjoining rooms is less overall hassle and noise for everyone to visit when they don't have to go into the hall with a key and open/close the doors. Also valid, but not overly-compelling.

You can do what you want and do what you prefer. Don't have to make this a right/wrong thing and negatively characterize people with other preferences. They could be calling you obsessive about NOT having adjoining rooms.

OP here. Having a different preference is fine. Expressing that preference once or twice is fine. Asking for your preference once or twice is fine.

Once the other person declines, pushing and asking and whining, again and again, and bringing it up again and again, is not fine. That is pushy and obsessive.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like adjoining rooms either, but I think part of the appeal (to people who are not me) is it’s easier to come and go between rooms while in PJs at night or not yet dressed for the day in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

1) When we vacation with extended family,

Just no.

2) certain people push for adjoining rooms

Awww hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

What is interesting here is that you characterize people with different preferences than you as pushy and obsessive. The reason you have for your preference is that you think you can hear more noise coming from the adjoining room. Valid, but not overly compelling- particularly when you say you don't spend a lot of time in the room. Reasons people have for wanting adjoining rooms is less overall hassle and noise for everyone to visit when they don't have to go into the hall with a key and open/close the doors. Also valid, but not overly-compelling.

You can do what you want and do what you prefer. Don't have to make this a right/wrong thing and negatively characterize people with other preferences. They could be calling you obsessive about NOT having adjoining rooms.

But people who insist on adjoining rooms are by definition insisting on invading your privacy! That’s pushy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like adjoining rooms either, but I think part of the appeal (to people who are not me) is it’s easier to come and go between rooms while in PJs at night or not yet dressed for the day in the morning.

DP. Why in the world would adults need to come and go between rooms in their pajamas?? I can see it would be fun for kids. But when I vacation I expect to have my own room with the door closed, whether that is an airbnb, hotel, or someone’s home.

[Anonymous]

Throwing this out there: my elderly, widowed mom insisted on adjoining rooms for her peace of mind and safety/security. It also added to the sleepover feel of our road trips, family reunions and the many times we traveled to her small hometown with our then younger DC.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, my ILs always want this and I hate it. FIL wanders around with food and he’s so gross, crumbs everywhere.

[Anonymous]

We get adjoining rooms with my parents. They like to go to bed at 9pm. They will “babysit” our asleep kids in the adjoining room while Dh and I go out. It’s so nice to be able to go grab drinks or hang out with Dh in foreign cities. It requires nothing of my parents either, kids have never once woken up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I dislike adjoining rooms because you can always hear more noise from the other room than you can with standard rooms. When we vacation with extended family, certain people push for adjoining rooms and are borderline obsessive about it. We understand rooms on the same floor and we do allow for certain people to request room blocks that are next to one another or across the hall, but there’s always whining and pushback.

What is the point? I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s so great. Who even wants to hang out in rooms? We prefer everyone to be in their own room when they need to, and meet in the lobby, the dining area or just get out of the hotel to spend time together.

(And no, I’m not opposed to spending time together; I even make the point of let’s just get an AirBnB or a rental house to save money and have built-in shared spaces. But they are old-fashioned and don’t “get” AirBnB and insist on hotel.)

What do you mean you "allow" it? Adults can request rooms in a certain area if they want to. Next door, across the hall... wherever. You can tell the hotel that YOU do not want an adjoining room.