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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Lumping Single Parenting, Adoption and Gay and Lesbian Parenting Into One Category? Thoughts?
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jsteele
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I'm not interested in expending much effort discussing semantics. The forum has to have a name. If you have a better suggestion, I'm all ears. |
Anonymous
Agree w/ PP that I totally missed the discussion about consolidating the single mom forum w/ others and wonder why you didn't post in the affected fora? I'm also not happy about the consolidation, less likely to post, and less likely to visit DCUM overall. Now that I read the discussion that you linked too, I'm a little stunned to see that you considered establishing a pet forum while getting rid of the single mom forum. Nice to see that my concerns rank lower than other families' concerns about their dogs, cats, lizards or goldfish. I think that what is a problem is that each of the affected forum you have consolidated are groups that have suffered real stigma in their efforts at parenting. We each feel like we have problems that can't or don't want to be understood by the more mainstream groups we cleaved off of (or were pushed away from) to begin with. As a single parent, I'm reluctant to post in a forum where 2 parent hetero intact families also read and post (even though they would be adoptive 2 parent hetero couples) because those are the groups from which I am excluded in my every day social life. I imagine the same might be true for GLBT or adoptive parents. As well, we are each groups that have special parenting problems precisely because of unique circumstances. As a single mom, I have to deal with relationship, custody, child support that bear little to no relationship to anything GLBT parents or adoptive parents typically experience. While a two parent lesbian couple and I may both lack a "father" in our family, there is really little to nothing about that "father lack" that we can share with each other because it is so qualitatively different in the effect it has and the ways in which we can address it. I agree with another posting that it feels marginalizing. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for articulating that as well as you did, 9:11. I really hate this lumping together, and Jeff I find your comment that you don't want to expend too much effort on semantics shockingly insensitive. This isn't semantics, this is our identity and social identifier. Non-traditional is loaded with judgment. I don't know what to call it ... I wish you'd split up the three and go there. How are new readers from these three groups going to find their forum with such a bizarre title? I do not understand where was this post about proposed changes? The college forum is not all that new, by the way. It feels marginalizing because it is marginalizing. And the insensitivity to that floors me. |
Anonymous
I fall into 2 of the three groups...I don't really have a problem with the new forum title but since others do what about this label as suggested in the previous discussion: "Parenting - Special Concerns (or interests, issues, etc.)" |
Anonymous
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I can't explain my concerns any better than 9:11 and 9:40.
If technical issues are driving this, what about eliminating Housekeeper as a separate categories and lumping the Housekeeper categories Nannies? How about including For Sale/ISO with "Off Topic" and changing the title to Off Topic/Sale/ISO/Pets? This solution would seemingly free up 4 categories and accomodate Pets (if that is a special interest). Perhaps other efficiencies can be found as well rather than lump the Single Parent, Adoption, LGBT, Blended families together.. |
Anonymous
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I appreciate that blended families are now represented.
Thanks! |
Anonymous
| i like the reorganization. i am a single mom. frequently, i would post in the single mom forum and not get many responses. so then i would post in the general parenting forum, only to have my post objected to, then moved to single mom, where i would not get many responses. i like that there are now more eyes and ears on these posts that do deal with what has historically been considered non-standard family arrangements. i agree that the concept of "tradition" can hardly be applied to the concept of "family" these days, but i don't disagree with the move to blend these forums together. |
Anonymous
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I also dislike this new format, and missed the boat on this supposed discussion that went on about this topic. I hate that now I have to sift through the thread titles to figure out, if not instantly obvious, if the thread applies to me and my family. Sorry, but I would rather not have to read about one of the groups in the title of this new group, not because I'm not empathetic, but because it doesn't apply to me. Like, I'm not going to look into Nannies or Housekeepers, because I have absolutely no need to. It's too much effort, and I know now that I probably won't even bother looking into these threads anymore.
Also, the fact that a lot of thought was supposedly put into this decision makes no difference when considering the final outcome. It was the wrong move to make. |
Anonymous
Well I don't see how my deciding to adopt a child versus birthing a child has any relation to your singleness. It doesn't. If you think you will receive more responses from two-parent households simpy because Jeff thinks that our families are abnormal, I think you will be solely disappointed. The only reason I clicked on this topic initially was because of the word adoption used in the title for non-traditional. After today, there is no reason to come back to this particular forum indes. Any informational bonding I need to seek regarding adoption will be obtained from the big yahoo adoption forums. In regards to DCUM, I will stay with general parenting. For in the end, that is what it is all about. |
Anonymous
ok. i'll stay in my box and you stay in your box. i will only ever read things that are 100% relevant to me. i should learn a lot about the world and other people that way. |
jsteele
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There is no need for this type of statement. I don't think your families are abnormal. Those of you who think you deserve your own specific forum think you are abnormal. I actually have the exact opposite view and feel almost all of your questions belong in General Parenting. I generally don't differentiate between parents. As far as I'm concerned, you are a parent or you aren't. Setting up separate forums resulted in three underused forums. If you all choose not to use this one, it will simply mean one underused forum. But, if you do use it, it will be a lot easier to find messages of interest to you in this group than it will be wading through the diapering and sleep questions in General Parenting. I am faced with both constant requests for new forums and constant complaints that there are too many forums. There is no way to satisfy both groups. No matter what I do, there are going to be disappointed people. I'm sorry that includes many of you this time. |
Anonymous
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Jeff, I think you're doing a fine job.
And you'll achieve perfection once you start my home and garden forum. |
Anonymous
Kiss up. 
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Anonymous
| I am a single adoptive mom, and I almost never posted in either the single mom or adoption forums. I almost never read anything in those forums that was relevant to me. The single mom forum was more of a divorce/custody discussion than a single mom discussion. The adoption posts are often either about some very early part of the adoption process or fairly shallow discussions of complex issues. I get adoption support from the numerous yahoo groups about adoption. So, I don't care so much that the topics were combined. The name kind of rubs me the wrong way though. I like Parenting - special concerns. |
Anonymous
| Once you started the food forum, you were OK by me. |