How long to reply to a text?

[Anonymous]

"This parent has been especially rude to deal with since my son made a sports team and her kid did not but I don't see how that can lead to this impossibly rude behavior. It makes me want to retract the invite."

Wow! What a jump to conclusions when most likely they just forgot to respond. My car "reads" me my texts and sometimes I forget to go back to it later, ESPECIALLY when its for something like a playdate where I need to check calendars.

Do you never forget to respond? Or do you not text much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."

Fair point. And any acknowledgment would be fine. I think ignoring an invite is ridiculously rude. This is a mom that was all too happy to text to set up playdates for the boys/offload her son in the past. It's been a shift ever since tryouts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"This parent has been especially rude to deal with since my son made a sports team and her kid did not but I don't see how that can lead to this impossibly rude behavior. It makes me want to retract the invite."

Wow! What a jump to conclusions when most likely they just forgot to respond. My car "reads" me my texts and sometimes I forget to go back to it later, ESPECIALLY when its for something like a playdate where I need to check calendars.

Do you never forget to respond? Or do you not text much?

NO. I don't forget to respond to texts. That's exactly the point. We are all busy and we all have things going on. But if an invite comes in in the form of a text directed to me (ie: not an evite), I acknowledge it within 24hrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This parent has been especially rude to deal with since my son made a sports team and her kid did not but I don't see how that can lead to this impossibly rude behavior. It makes me want to retract the invite."

Wow! What a jump to conclusions when most likely they just forgot to respond. My car "reads" me my texts and sometimes I forget to go back to it later, ESPECIALLY when its for something like a playdate where I need to check calendars.

Do you never forget to respond? Or do you not text much?

NO. I don't forget to respond to texts. That's exactly the point. We are all busy and we all have things going on. But if an invite comes in in the form of a text directed to me (ie: not an evite), I acknowledge it within 24hrs.

Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."

+1 I would be annoyed that I was being locked down for a kid’s party (unless it was a best friend). I would find it awkward to get a text asking about my schedule and feel obligated for my kid to attend. Sorry, OP. I know you have good intentions. Just how I would feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."

Fair point. And any acknowledgment would be fine. I think ignoring an invite is ridiculously rude. This is a mom that was all too happy to text to set up playdates for the boys/offload her son in the past. It's been a shift ever since tryouts.

You sound pretty uptight (demanding an immediate response and planning so far in advance). I think the mom and you just don’t click. Just forget about the text and send out your invites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."

That's what I thought the OP was looking for. Like, she doesn't want to schedule a birthday party and then learn that Billy will be at a family wedding that weekend and can't make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This parent has been especially rude to deal with since my son made a sports team and her kid did not but I don't see how that can lead to this impossibly rude behavior. It makes me want to retract the invite."

Wow! What a jump to conclusions when most likely they just forgot to respond. My car "reads" me my texts and sometimes I forget to go back to it later, ESPECIALLY when its for something like a playdate where I need to check calendars.

Do you never forget to respond? Or do you not text much?

NO. I don't forget to respond to texts. That's exactly the point. We are all busy and we all have things going on. But if an invite comes in in the form of a text directed to me (ie: not an evite), I acknowledge it within 24hrs.

This rigid kind of thinking is causing you unnecessary stress. You are making up stories in your mind, getting worked up, posting here, etc when you could simply send 1 follow-up text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."

Fair point. And any acknowledgment would be fine. I think ignoring an invite is ridiculously rude. This is a mom that was all too happy to text to set up playdates for the boys/offload her son in the past. It's been a shift ever since tryouts.

You sound pretty uptight (demanding an immediate response and planning so far in advance). I think the mom and you just don’t click. Just forget about the text and send out your invites.

+1
I'd be avoiding this OP mom as well. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."


Fair point. And any acknowledgment would be fine. I think ignoring an invite is ridiculously rude. This is a mom that was all too happy to text to set up playdates for the boys/offload her son in the past. It's been a shift ever since tryouts.

I get why you would be bothered by that - I would too. But just keep focusing on the fact that the objective is for this kid to come to your kid's party if he is able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot expect anyone to keep every weekend free between now and the end of May. That's what, 6 wks?

you need to decide when you're doing your thing, or 2-3 possible dates and run those past her.

Its annoying when anyone expects you to keep your calendar wide open for something. It means they can't do anything with anyone, just in case its your kids birthday!

Who said anything about that? My text said "Is there a weekend that doesn't work? Trying to figure out a weekend that works with everyone"

you can't be so stupid to not realize that's entirely the same thing
she might not know which w'ends don't work for those many w'ends. What if she says - "well for now, we have plans on April 27 & 28 but we might have other plans that arise on other days"

You'd be on here complaining anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot expect anyone to keep every weekend free between now and the end of May. That's what, 6 wks?

you need to decide when you're doing your thing, or 2-3 possible dates and run those past her.

Its annoying when anyone expects you to keep your calendar wide open for something. It means they can't do anything with anyone, just in case its your kids birthday!

Who said anything about that? My text said "Is there a weekend that doesn't work? Trying to figure out a weekend that works with everyone"

you can't be so stupid to not realize that's entirely the same thing
she might not know which w'ends don't work for those many w'ends. What if she says - "well for now, we have plans on April 27 & 28 but we might have other plans that arise on other days"

You'd be on here complaining anyway!

Y'all are so entitled and rude. You get an invite, you acknowledge it and give the best answer you can. Another family is planning something around your kid. Surely you're not that important that you can't cooperate with some sort of answer. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one thinks this is rude? Quite telling.

If I got a text inviting my kid to anything, I'd acknowledge it.

Sometimes people forget to text back.

[Anonymous]

I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."


That's what I thought the OP was looking for. Like, she doesn't want to schedule a birthday party and then learn that Billy will be at a family wedding that weekend and can't make it.

I understand that, and personally, I would be happy to identify known conflicts, but wouldn't be willing to indicate that the party would take precedence over everything that may come up over the next month and a half, unless this kid was my kid's closest friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is rude not to respond at all, but I would also not want to have to provide a list of my child's availability a month out, nor would I want the event of a less-than-best friend to be controlled by his availability. I'd likely just answer, "not 100 percent sure at this time. I know Billy isn't available X and Y dates (if true). If you let us know the date of the event, he'd certainly like to attend if he's able to make it."

+1 I would be annoyed that I was being locked down for a kid’s party (unless it was a best friend). I would find it awkward to get a text asking about my schedule and feel obligated for my kid to attend. Sorry, OP. I know you have good intentions. Just how I would feel.

Same