Don’t like elementary age - does it get better?

[Anonymous]

Different people enjoy the job of parenting at different stages. And I would guess are better at it. Some are Baby People ... some Teen People, some in-between. Sometimes almost-absent Fathers as it turns out, are a very good parent to young adults.

Good to keep in mind - to keep you/everyone humble.

[Anonymous]

I love every stage. Yes I'm that person. My eldest is in Middle school now. When she was leaving ES , I was sad and thought I would hate it but I'm actually really enjoying the middle grades.

[Anonymous]

Yes, totally. I also hated elementary school. I felt like all DD wanted to talk about was toys made of cheap plastic from China, and couldn't tell a story coherently to save her life but loved talking. I kept working on her to gather her thoughts before launching into a story, to make sure it had a beginning, middle and end, and to give the who/what/where/when/why. Honestly I wondered if she was mentally impaired.

But by 6th grade she'd calmed down, could have a coherent conversation (this apparently never bothered her friends?) and could talk about things other than products. I've enjoyed her ever since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite so far has been the middle school age. I actually didn't like infant to preschool so much - I don't like structuring my day around sleep and eating schedules and always having to carry snacks, pants, etc. I do very much enjoy watching all my hard work materialize in a child who makes good decisions and surprises me everyday with the adult they are becoming (seriously I love MS). By HS they are SO independent they almost don't need me for anything more than advice here and there.

Wow this is maybe the first time I have ever heard this. While my own kids are lovely in MS, the friend drama and social pressures are enough to push me off a cliff.

Totally agree there are a lot of social pressures. I suppose we are a fairly low drama house when it comes to friends. I hear about some of it but it's not pervasive for us. BTW I have 3 girls 1 boy. I also spoke to my kids at length over many conversations about how people need to develop socially and everyone makes mistakes and some adults are stuck in this stage and have never fully developed. Maybe expecting the drama mitigated it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite so far has been the middle school age. I actually didn't like infant to preschool so much - I don't like structuring my day around sleep and eating schedules and always having to carry snacks, pants, etc. I do very much enjoy watching all my hard work materialize in a child who makes good decisions and surprises me everyday with the adult they are becoming (seriously I love MS). By HS they are SO independent they almost don't need me for anything more than advice here and there.

Wow this is maybe the first time I have ever heard this. While my own kids are lovely in MS, the friend drama and social pressures are enough to push me off a cliff.

Totally agree there are a lot of social pressures. I suppose we are a fairly low drama house when it comes to friends. I hear about some of it but it's not pervasive for us. BTW I have 3 girls 1 boy. I also spoke to my kids at length over many conversations about how people need to develop socially and everyone makes mistakes and some adults are stuck in this stage and have never fully developed. Maybe expecting the drama mitigated it?

Or you just got lucky? I have no control over poor behavior and decisions of kids that are not my own. One of my kids in particular just has a bunch of a-holes in her grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking back I think elementary years are the best. Seriously. MS is harder. The hormones kicking in and friends drama is real. I have 2 kids transitioning to HS next yr and the following and I'm not sure if it'll get easier. But so far girls have it harder than boys. MS is when sports also get more serious/frequent so I have turned into a professional driver as a second job even with carpools.

I say this with respect and good will - if you don't like elementary years or feel it's hard - you will hate the next few years of your life when all hell breaks lose on the hormones front. They won't be lovey and huggy and you will see lots of mood ups and downs and more activities and events in the social scene. More worries, more issues, more expensive all around. Good luck mom!

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Each stage has its benefits and drawbacks. There were many things I loved about elementary ages--but I also dreaded managing homework and the level of involvement needed to help them complete basic tasks. That paid off, though, and now I have teenagers who are happy to pitch in and are pretty independent with their schoolwork and in other ways.

The problems teens have tend to be higher stakes, so that's the tradeoff.

It may sound trite, but try to find the good things about where you and your kids are right now. Once that stage is over, it's gone forever. You'll have wonderful things and challenging things about the next stage too, it's just a matter of trying to appreciate where you are when you're there.

[Anonymous]

Boys are tougher in elementary with the nervous energy. By middle school, they mellow out and focus on academics or sports.

Girls on the other hand are the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, totally. I also hated elementary school. I felt like all DD wanted to talk about was toys made of cheap plastic from China, and couldn't tell a story coherently to save her life but loved talking. I kept working on her to gather her thoughts before launching into a story, to make sure it had a beginning, middle and end, and to give the who/what/where/when/why. Honestly I wondered if she was mentally impaired.

But by 6th grade she'd calmed down, could have a coherent conversation (this apparently never bothered her friends?) and could talk about things other than products. I've enjoyed her ever since.

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your child is simply expressing their dissatisfaction with their assigned gender? Have they discussed this issue with a therapist?

[Anonymous]

The ES years can be hard because the activities multiply and they tend to happen after school and on weekends. I found myself missing the preschool years when I dropped my kid off in the morning, picked her up in the evening and mostly just chilled other than going to the park.

[Anonymous]

Elementary age kids are really disruptive to my lifestyle sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, totally. I also hated elementary school. I felt like all DD wanted to talk about was toys made of cheap plastic from China, and couldn't tell a story coherently to save her life but loved talking. I kept working on her to gather her thoughts before launching into a story, to make sure it had a beginning, middle and end, and to give the who/what/where/when/why. Honestly I wondered if she was mentally impaired.

But by 6th grade she'd calmed down, could have a coherent conversation (this apparently never bothered her friends?) and could talk about things other than products. I've enjoyed her ever since.

I don’t understand why elementary aged children can’t simply carry on an adult conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys are tougher in elementary with the nervous energy. By middle school, they mellow out and focus on academics or sports.

Girls on the other hand are the opposite.

My boys were a dream in elementary. They are grumpy teens. I actually think they are only grumpy around us parents. They seem fine and cheerful and fun around their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what the problems are and what you are looking for.

This. But generally I would say no. I found the late preschool and elementary years to be the sweet spot of family life. From about 5th grade on, there is much more social pressure on the kids, they develop attitudes and start fighting for independence. That isn’t to say they can’t also be lovely, but those ES years are hard to beat IMO.

couldn't say it better my self. MY DD is in high school and just miss when times were easier. In lower elementary school was so excited to go anywhere with me, now a Sophomore its so different, I know its parts of growing up, but it's still sad and soon she leaving to college and start her own life. It all goes by so quickly, Its hard to believe she will be 16 next month, it doesn't seem like its been that long.