My son embarrased me tonight

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like he just wanted some comfort. I no longer breastfeed, but when my son is sad or scared, he often asks for milk (in a cup). It obviously something that makes him feel better. I think the key issue in this situation is whether you are still breastfeeding or not, OP. If you are, then I don't think it is an unusual thing for him to do at all. Breastfeeding obviously makes him feel better. If you are not, it is a little more strange, but maybe he just remembers the comfort he used to get from it. I agree it must have been embarrassing, but if your coworkers have kids, I am sure they are used to their own kids not always acting appropriately in public situations.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a tough night. You had to work and didn't have childcare help-- always hard. Give yourself and your son a break. It happened, it is over. I would make sure he does not feel ike you are embarassed by him. He just acted like a child, which he is. The breastfeeding thing is your own business, but if you are still BFing, then these situations may happen and you have to figure out how you want to deal with them, but don't shame your son. If you are no BFing then give him some extra comfort in the next few days, perhaps bring a lovey (blanket, cuddle toy) to the next similar situation. And again, know that you are not alone, your colleagues should respect you and not talk about this and often we think these things are bigger than anyone else does.

[Anonymous]

He was being a three year old. OP's expectations of him in that situation (her work environment, end of day, etc) may have been too high. He wasn't necessarily misbehaving... he just wanted some attention and OP's focus wasn't on him in that moment. Even if he's not breastfeeding, it's not that big a deal. Maybe he observed a friend's baby sibling being breastfed, etc. I certainly understand why OP is embarrassed, but I completely disagree that it's terribly unusual or strange behavior that warrants family therapy. Three year olds are quirky cats and it's a tough stage.

[Anonymous]

PP here... just to add, misbehavior would be jumping off the furniture, destroying property, screaming and yelling. This was different. He was just trying to get some attention.

[Anonymous]

Poor guy, that's a tough situation for him to be in. Any kid would likely resort to antics for attention when stuck in a work meeting at night, though a lot would likely be loud and destructive! He did what came naturally, you can't be angry about that.

[Anonymous]

I think I would have laughed and said "Ooops! Looks like he remembers!" and then checked the time and probably realized that he had had enough and it was time for me to wrap things up. Easy enough, no big deal.

[Anonymous]

I am a father. I work in a very stuffy environment. Come to think of it, I'm stuffy too. I suppose embarassment is a subjective thing, so I can't help you there. What I can say is that if I were at your meeting, I would have no problem with it. I can't imagine any parent would. I think the "no problem" view is enchanced by the fact that this was a late night meeting. Certainly both you and your child were going above and beyond. As far as your reaction, the less stuffy among us might disagree, but I thought the fact that you were clearly bothered, even mortified by this, and quickly removed him from the room, was the right thing to do in this professional environment.

Take care.

[Anonymous]

OP here - Thank you all for your kind comments and support! I waltzed into work today and we all laughed about it, heard a few other embarrassing stories and then it was back to business. I'm glad my co-workers took it much better than me! As for my son, he probably was bored and fell asleep immediately in the car. He seemed his usual self today. By the way-I stopped bfing 6 months ago, that is why I was even more surprised.

[Anonymous]

OP, I also have a 3 year old who stopped breastfeeding about 6 months ago. There have been MANY occassions where he still whines for it, or trys to lift my shirt or grab my breast. Most recently, we were in church and it was dead silence and he was ansty and tired, and he starts yelling "mommy I want NURRRRSIEEEESSSSS!" Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing but what can you do? It's no big deal and is perfectly normal for a three year old. Maybe your DS saw another child nursing and it sparked his memory? I have a younger child who is nursing, and I'm sure that triggers my 3yo to want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you try to think about what happened from your child's point of view instead of your own? YOU put your child in an akward situation. Do you expect that at three years old he will behave 'perfectly'? Your child certainly did not mean to embarras you. He obviously felt uncomfortable and wanted you to comfort him. A work function is no place for a three year old. I would be more worried about the feelings of your child instead of your colleagues.

Good post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you try to think about what happened from your child's point of view instead of your own? YOU put your child in an akward situation. Do you expect that at three years old he will behave 'perfectly'? Your child certainly did not mean to embarras you. He obviously felt uncomfortable and wanted you to comfort him. A work function is no place for a three year old. I would be more worried about the feelings of your child instead of your colleagues.

Good post.

This is ridiculous. People on this board are always ready to call someone a bad Mom. SHE HAD TO WORK! Sometimes you can't just have a babysitting fairy come to your house and we all can't stay home. How do people not understand this? An awkward situation? She took him to a work meeting and he got bored. She didn't bring him to her boyfriend's house and have sex on the bed next to him. He has no permanent damage to him done by this meeting. I went with my Mom to work weekend after weekend when I was growing up and all I remember is getting to eat from the vending machine and write on her whiteboard. Nothing happened to this kid. I'm sure your children are always perfect and you are immune to embarrassment. Maybe it didn't need to be posted on a website, but she wanted to see if other kids did similar things, and they do, so she is happy to hear it.

[Anonymous]

2:42 poster - glad to hear that you are laughing about it already. From my experience, on the "embarassment" front, there is ALWAYS somebody that can one-up you and make you feel better! And, hey, my daughter never BFed yet, at 3.5yo, occasionally tries to put her hand up my shirt to grab them (including in public!) - I think she just thinks they are nice and soft and/or curious, who knows!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you try to think about what happened from your child's point of view instead of your own? YOU put your child in an akward situation. Do you expect that at three years old he will behave 'perfectly'? Your child certainly did not mean to embarras you. He obviously felt uncomfortable and wanted you to comfort him. A work function is no place for a three year old. I would be more worried about the feelings of your child instead of your colleagues.

Good post.

This is ridiculous. People on this board are always ready to call someone a bad Mom. SHE HAD TO WORK! Sometimes you can't just have a babysitting fairy come to your house and we all can't stay home. How do people not understand this? An awkward situation? She took him to a work meeting and he got bored. She didn't bring him to her boyfriend's house and have sex on the bed next to him. He has no permanent damage to him done by this meeting. I went with my Mom to work weekend after weekend when I was growing up and all I remember is getting to eat from the vending machine and write on her whiteboard. Nothing happened to this kid. I'm sure your children are always perfect and you are immune to embarrassment. Maybe it didn't need to be posted on a website, but she wanted to see if other kids did similar things, and they do, so she is happy to hear it.

Good point, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you try to think about what happened from your child's point of view instead of your own? YOU put your child in an akward situation. Do you expect that at three years old he will behave 'perfectly'? Your child certainly did not mean to embarras you. He obviously felt uncomfortable and wanted you to comfort him. A work function is no place for a three year old. I would be more worried about the feelings of your child instead of your colleagues.

Good post.

So do we need to always worry about our children's feelings when they throw tantrums in public because I say "no" to buying a toy, or when a child acts up when guests are over? Yes, there will be plenty of embarrising situations to deal with, but at age 3, a child needs to start learning what is acceptable behavior. I ask you...what was the OP supposed to do? What would you have done...not gone to the meeting? Start feeding in front of your peers? If we always try and accomodate our children because we look at situations from their point of view, then they would never be exposed to situations where they can learn to act appropriately. They would always get their way. Children at that age can begin to learn how to handle differnt situations that they are not comfortable with. And FWIW, I would also be embarrassed if this was to happen to me. I think OP handled it pretty well.

[Anonymous]

Maybe splitting hairs at this point - but considering the child's point of view doesn't have to mean "giving in". (Why do so many people see things as either/or?) That post could have been (were it not for the last couple of lines) a suggestion to focus on more than just the feeling of embarrassment, or the concern of colleagues, and put the child's feelings into the mix too. It always helps to take everybody's perspectives into account. It does sound like OP handled things fine, both in the moment and on reflection after.