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My son embarrased me tonight
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Anonymous
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My son is a little over 3 years old. He is usually well-behaved in public settings. Why he chose to act up tonight is beyond me. I was at a professional meeting (after work hours) and due to circumstances beyond my control, needed to bring him. My supervisor was fine with this. We ordered pizza and my son had plenty to eat and drink. So why in the world did he decide to come up to me, with a group of my peers surrounding me, and tug at my shirt and stick his head underneath and tried to breastfeed. I was mortified and quickly pulled him out. I am shaking just writing this. I didn't say a word and he started to cry and sob "I want milk".
I apologized to everyone and stepped outside of the room and had a chat with my son (while he ate) - roll eyes. Not that this will ever happen again, but how would you have handled this and what do I do when I go in tomorrow? |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, not meaning to be rude, but are you still breastfeeding or have you stopped recently???
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Anonymous
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Frankly, I would be more worried about my child than I would be embarrassed. First, he is three. It is tough for a three-year-old to be in a new/strange environment with all adults. Plus, he probably realized that you have a life outside of him - and he was faced with that tonight.
I hope you can spend a lot of time with him to make sure he's okay - or maybe some family therapy might be necessary. This is very unusual behavior for a child his age. |
Anonymous
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He was tired, bored and was trying to send you a signal that he wanted to get out of there.
I am sorry that happened. I wouldn't say anything about it tomorrow. I don't think anyone will bring it up as it's an embarrasing topic. Pretend it didn't happen. |
Anonymous
If she is still breastfeeding him, then I don't think the behavior is so unusual. If he hasn't eaten from a boob since the age of 1 or so, then yes this is very strange. I have a friend who breasfeeds her almost 3 year old and he does this all the time to her. Is it time to cut out the boob? Probably. |
Anonymous
PP here. I wouldn't be concentrating on work. I would be more worried about my child. My 19-month-old son said just today: "Mommy let's go," and "I want to go home," in a store. My three-year-old daughter (or any of the children I know) would just say they wanted to go home. There is no way they would say such a dramatic thing. It's definitely a call for help/attention. Good night. |
Anonymous
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My three year old has done this too. He stopped nursing a year and a half ago, but he seems to want to start up again, at the most inopportune times. Usually it's a signal that he is done with the situation he is in, doesn't want to be with just adults, and not have my undivided attention.
If you are still nursing, than it isn't as surprising. Children often use nursing for comfort, especially in new or unusual situations. |
Anonymous
Hmmm, there must be something really wrong with my children then. They are three and four, and whined and cried through the grocery today. I picked them up late from daycare, had to feed them, and needed groceries. and it was half an hour before their regular bedtime. I guess I must have been a bad mother to drag them through the grocery while they argued, cried and complained. They should have asked me in nice grown up voices to go home. Perhaps a "Pardon me Mother, but I am quite tired, knackered really, and I need to just go home." would have been most appropriate. |
Anonymous
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First, if this is the first time that your kid has "embarrassed" you, then you are doing pretty well (my 3yo daughter recently undressed in front of a colleague that was over for dinner). As for your co-workers, no need to address it - it happened and some will be understanding (those with kids), some will be shocked, none will expect any discussion of it. You are the one that had to sacrifice to work outside of normal work hours when it was clearly inconvenient for you and your family - you did your best, it did not go perfectly. Forget about it and move on (and, trust me, one day you may even laugh about it).
Second, to 00:01/00:12 PP - geeze, the child is 3yo, bored, and eager for mommy's attention. Sometimes my daughter also says "Mommy, let's go home" or tries to drag me over to sit/play with her, other times she whines (which I try to discourage, soemtimes she cranky, cometimes she does stuff to get attention. Pleading for attention in such a situation is not the same as the desperate cry for help that you are suggesting. No therapy required for anybody but you that can't see that this is relatively normal 3yo behavior. Behavior that we would prefer to discourage/avoid, but normal nonetheless. |
Anonymous
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I'm not so sure any of it is meaningful in any way. 4-16-01 00:01's "family therapy" seems way, way, way out of proportion.
Your child may have seen a child breastfeeding earlier in the day or recently, or . . . who knows? A 3 y/o simply can't calculate what's reasonable and what's rational and what's appropriate and what's ridiculous. There's no way to know why BF was in his head for that split-second, and IMHOP he has no meanngful filter as to the things that enter his head for split-seconds. So who the heck knows. He's exploring the world, learning it as he goes. Honestly, i might have laughed, partly from embarrassment, to be sure, but also partly because how lucky are we to live lives in which these crazy, unexpected things happen to us at the hands (literally!) of unpredictable munchkins? |
Anonymous
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Agree that you shouldn't raise the issue/try to explain to the people at work. There is no reason to; it will make you uncomfortable and honestly, probably make them uncomfortable as well.
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Anonymous
| I am right with 2:42. Thank you and very well put! |
Anonymous
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Maybe next time something like this happens you can grab a neighbor's kid (even as young as a third grader) to play with the kid during the meeting?
Other than that, I think you handled the situation well, and should do nothing differently next time. If you don't act embarrassed, your office mates won't be, either. You clearly don't "impose" your child on them very often, so there's hardly even fuel for gossip. My son is never at his best in the office - I don't bring him often. I think from his perspective, it is a building filled with scary old men (old == over 50 to him) who want to talk to him, but don't know how to talk to kids but persevere in trying. Of course he gets uncomfortable. I think it may also be that I am more formal in the work place (these are not friends, but colleagues). |
Anonymous
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2.42 is right.
If it's any consolation, after a few more years they will stop embarrassing you, and you can start embarrassing them! |
Anonymous
| Why don't you try to think about what happened from your child's point of view instead of your own? YOU put your child in an akward situation. Do you expect that at three years old he will behave 'perfectly'? Your child certainly did not mean to embarras you. He obviously felt uncomfortable and wanted you to comfort him. A work function is no place for a three year old. I would be more worried about the feelings of your child instead of your colleagues. |