People who regularly make big changes
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Anonymous
| I know someone like this. She keeps having babies (6), taking the kids in and out of schools, moving houses, starting and quitting activities. I think she has some kind of mental disorder. The problem is my kids are friends with some of her kids. I like the kids, can’t deal with the mom. |
Anonymous
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You are kind of talking about me but I have been able to shield my kids as much as possible.
I'm Sagittarius, but I have not made those changes to cause any drama to my kids. I changed continents several times before kids. I separated and divorced with young child because staying married was not healthy for anyone. I let the child stay at one parent house most of the time so there would be less interruption for the child. I was always there for them and lived nearby. I couldn't even ask to see my second child because of instability of the other parent. I simply waited it out. Not working for awhile? Not a big deal as I have the money not to work. I did my best dealing with some really bad relationships. In the old country, the special people or problem people have been put away. I had no idea that here they walk around freely and go crazy when off the meds. So many were like Jekyll and Hyde. |
Anonymous
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I have lived in five different states (well okay, one was DC so not technically), three of them two different times, and have changed jobs every 2-3 years over the last 23 years. I’ve also lived in multiple towns/cities and apartments/houses in each of those states (except 3 years in the same DC row house during law school) so the longest part of my credit report is the many dozens of address listings.
I would blame my parents for relocating me across country in early childhood, except that I do have a distinct recollection of having an aspiration in even earlier childhood that I would someday live in every single state. Eventually it dawned on me that the logistics of that were unworkable, but I made up for it by doing cross country road trips east to west and back again by different routes almost a dozen times, and a few times north to south as well. The only states I’ve not yet been to are Alaska, Hawaii and Florida. I’ve been single most of my life and chose to share my life with dogs, who travel and relocate fairly well. If I’d had kids I wouldn’t have lived the same life because I was definitely really negatively impacted by being moved away from all my family and friends when I was only 8 years old. I am a Sagittarius. Typically I don’t put much stock in astrological stuff at all, but I have consistently seen Sagittarians described as people who crave novelty - new challenges, new places, new adventures. I would say there is a lot of that in me - however I have also always envied my friends who put roots down and grew them deeply. What can I say; I am vast and contain multitudes. My various professional positions were definitely a progression over time to better opportunities, higher salaries, more responsibility- so I don’t think it is a mark against me overall, but I’m sure some people will judge. |
Anonymous
| People like that really interest me because I'm too afraid to live like that instead I live in fear and are too careful because growing up my life was chaos. So now I don't make many moves for fear so these people amaze me who live like that. Maybe they come from money, a happy house hold and have people to help when things go wrong. I have none of that. |
Anonymous
| In several high paying career fields, jumping every 3 years or so is much more lucrative than staying put. Depending on role. |
Anonymous
| I don’t know anyone in extended family, colleagues, acquaintances that is like what OP describes. I’ve moved a couple of times for career progression with my family including overseas and back, but a little aimless, go with the wind and lacking roots? Nope no one. That person would be interesting to have drinks with though. |
Anonymous
| I might count? I absolutely hate changing jobs so I do that as infrequently as possible but I’m all for long distance moves: I’ve switched countries and continents three times so far and I’m gearing up for my fourth international move this summer. I like moving and think it’s fun — I get itchy feet after five years in one place and I live learning new languages. My kids are still little but I plan to stay in my next city (although not the same home — I’m renting an apartment to start and will buy a house in a year or so unless we absolutely hate it there) for over a decade as I do want them to have a consistent grade school experience. Like so many things in life it’s a question of priorities: I save and plan for moves, just like foodies go all over to spend small fortunes on food, and other people pour their money into big houses or fancy cars. |
Anonymous
Ha, right? And there is so much handwringing on DCUM about moving with kids, uprooting them, etc. Many of us change continents every 2-3 years. With our kids. |
Anonymous
You make life difficult for the "Where are you really from" crowd. |
Anonymous
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I know a man like this - he changes jobs every few years, always because in his perception he isn’t being valued or treated right, or bc he gets pushed out. He also changes where he lives every few years, and is basically estranged from his parents and siblings. He was married with kids, and surprise surprise also “changed” aka left them for a new girlfriend and her kids.
I am friends with his (now ex-) wife. While they were married, I thought this all unusual. Since they’ve divorced, she’s been more open and says she lived in constant stress and fear of these changes, as did their kids. They are so much better off without him, although from the outside he seemed a devoted father and husband. I suspect he has some kind of mental struggles but I couldn’t begin to label. |
Anonymous
Hah exactly. This is me and most of my friends. |
Anonymous
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This is my XDH. He has ADHD and is bipolar. He's currently estranged from both our adult kids (and from me) and just moved (again) to a different state, where he knows nobody, to work remotely.
During couples counseling the therapist, commenting on XDH's frequent efforts to move the family to wherever, said that XDH's goal should be to be happy where he was, instead of trying to escape everything and burn it all down on a regular schedule. XDH never found happiness in one spot for long. |
Anonymous
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The only way to get a good raise now is to find another job every 2-3 years, and sometimes that means you have to move.
Some people like novelty, others may to stay far away from relatives. |
Anonymous
OP is very concerned about your kids. |
Anonymous
No, I’m obviously not concerned about the stable couples in the foreign service who bounce around. I’m concerned about Linda who left her husband and instead of staying nearby or relocating near grandparents and cousins she opted to move to Hawaii to reinvent herself. She bought a new car, spent way too much money decorating a rental, and bounced around a few jobs. Hooked up with a guy who she quickly moved into her place. Less than two years later she moved the kids clear across the country because she met a guy online. New instant Brady brunch family for a couple of years before bouncing to Florida to reinvent herself at the beach. New boyfriend, new schools, and then within a year or so it was time to move out west—because Linda really wanted to live in the mountains and maybe find a cowboy. She also thought she could make more money as a (fill in the blank for the latest career/job). Didn’t last. Another failed relationship. The kids are older and over it. One moved in with the family of a childhood friend to finish high school with stability. One dropped out and moved back in his father. One is stuck but itching to launch. I can’t count the dramatic shifts in hair color and styles. Or the dramatic lifestyle changes. I’m boho! I’m vegan! I’m modern punk. I’m sister wives meets Laura Ashley. I thought I was pretty clear that I’m not talking about stable two-parent homes or people who relocate for a great job. I’m talking about primarily single women who quit or get fired all the time and are desperate to find a new life by uprooting themselves and their kids every couple years. I know several women like Linda. She’s depressed and medicated but still doing crazy stuff. She’s not dumb, but she makes bad choices. All the time. |