Want to move back to my hometown, no jobs--how to get over that homesick feeling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a person who did what you want to do - when our son was 4 months old we moved back to my hometown. My husband found a job before moving (one of probably 2 he could have had in the area). He's a consultant. We moved and it was TERRIBLE. I couldn't find a job at all and our finances were not ok due to the fact that my husband took a pay cut. Even though the cost of living was less we were having trouble because of my lack of any sort of useful job. We also missed DC - all of the stuff that is annoying became nice...exposure to different cultures and languages, cultural activities and museums, restaurants.....we found that dealing with the shitty traffic and commute were worth not feeling like fish out of water. You know how they say "you can't go home again".....well, I couldn't. Home was the same, but I had changed. Perhaps my tale of woe can make you feel better here! By the way, we moved back here within 6 months.

What part of the country was home for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a person who did what you want to do - when our son was 4 months old we moved back to my hometown. My husband found a job before moving (one of probably 2 he could have had in the area). He's a consultant. We moved and it was TERRIBLE. I couldn't find a job at all and our finances were not ok due to the fact that my husband took a pay cut. Even though the cost of living was less we were having trouble because of my lack of any sort of useful job. We also missed DC - all of the stuff that is annoying became nice...exposure to different cultures and languages, cultural activities and museums, restaurants.....we found that dealing with the shitty traffic and commute were worth not feeling like fish out of water. You know how they say "you can't go home again".....well, I couldn't. Home was the same, but I had changed. Perhaps my tale of woe can make you feel better here! By the way, we moved back here within 6 months.

I started a thread about a week/week and a half ago about moving away from DC to Portland and now wish I could move back to DC but can't because my husband doesn't want to. So, I echo this poster completely, especially with regard to the job and the finances...even down to the consultant husband! I have been unable to find a job in large part because the economy is very depressed here and it has sucked. Now we are struggling to figure out our next move and it has been hard all around.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, OP. We really want to move back to Richmond, VA, which is home for us. It will happen, but we. like you, have to wait out the economy.

You've been looking for 2 years, but those 2 years were during a worldwide economic crisis, so I think it's too soon for you to close the door on moving back. Just keep on plugging through day by day and keep your eyes open for opportunities in your hometown. You'll make it back there eventually.

[Anonymous]

For all of you that want to move back home, I am so sorry, I know how you feel. It really sucks.

The hostile ones can spare us their rhetoric.

Some of us come from really nice places with really nice people, so I sympathize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Airplanes? My family uses the technology known as "flight" to go see the long-distance relatives several times a year. Said relatives do the same in reverse - they buy "plane tickets" and come here to spend time with us.

This is the way they stay close. We also "talk on the phone" several times a week and use the "Internet" to stay connected.

Is it the same as living down the street from the house where you were born? No, but this isn't 1938 rural Mississippi, either.

This is really obnoxious and mean.

[Anonymous]

OP, where are you from?
I've lived in the DC area for eight years now and I'm still sometimes homesick. In my hometown, there are NO JOBS. 90% of my family is back in my hometown. Flying is possible, but it's quite expensive. It's also nearly a 22 hour car ride. I struggle with it especially around the holidays. You're not alone.

[Anonymous]

I really do sympathize! Especially about the sentiment regarding housing prices being so expensive here. This area is great if you make $250K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Airplanes? My family uses the technology known as "flight" to go see the long-distance relatives several times a year. Said relatives do the same in reverse - they buy "plane tickets" and come here to spend time with us.

This is the way they stay close. We also "talk on the phone" several times a week and use the "Internet" to stay connected.

Is it the same as living down the street from the house where you were born? No, but this isn't 1938 rural Mississippi, either.

I think its people like this PP who is making the OP want to get the hell out of this area. I don't blame you, OP!

I feel the same way as you do about having family nearby and am so thankful that my parents, siblings and in-laws are all so close. However, since all of my family are here in DC, I am stuck here for life. Maybe the grass isnt always greener

[Anonymous]

OP -- I feel your pain. For many of us, there is "go going home". I grew up with 7 siblings, but I knew when I graduated from college that I needed to get out of the midwest.

Our child grew up w/o any relatives here. We have done a decent job of staying in touch and trying to drive to see relatives. We always checked out cheap air deals too to do a quick getaway. I don't think it every gets any easier with respect to missing your family. But, try to make a "family" here with your immediate family and close friends. Now that our only child is in college -- we would never think of "moving back home". We got over the idea as time marched on.

[Anonymous]

OOps -- I meant "no going home" above

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- I feel your pain. For many of us, there is "go going home". I grew up with 7 siblings, but I knew when I graduated from college that I needed to get out of the midwest.

Our child grew up w/o any relatives here. We have done a decent job of staying in touch and trying to drive to see relatives. We always checked out cheap air deals too to do a quick getaway. I don't think it every gets any easier with respect to missing your family. But, try to make a "family" here with your immediate family and close friends. Now that our only child is in college -- we would never think of "moving back home". We got over the idea as time marched on.

So, it sounds like you all did okay. And that your child did fine without any "extended" family close by in geography. This is a good perspective to hear from you and I do appreciate it. As I was starting to worry that our child may not have a great advantage. (sort of how people worry about the "only child" I worry instead about growing up without extended family nearby for spur of the moment Sunday cookouts etc..)