Inviting SIL to come on trip with us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have taken long weekend beach trips for the major long summer weekends (Memorial Day, Jul 4, Labor Day), just us and our 3 year old, for the past 2 years. We have a new 4 month old and are planning our first trip away. We thought about inviting our SiL, who lives 5 min away from us, along on the trip since she gets along great with our 3 year old and we are busier with the 4 month old now.

If we invited her this time, would it be weird if we didn’t invite her in the future? We dont necessarily want her joining on every family trip, it just makes sense for this one to give 3 year old more adult attention. She would definitely want to come.

So as a babysitter?

If that is the case then say so, plainly.

[Anonymous]

She’s not going to be a babysitter. She can interact 0 with our kids if she doesn’t want to. That’s won’t happen because she loves our 3 year old, but even if the extent of her interaction with her is 15 mins of chatting a day, that is great.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s not going to be a babysitter. She can interact 0 with our kids if she doesn’t want to. That’s won’t happen because she loves our 3 year old, but even if the extent of her interaction with her is 15 mins of chatting a day, that is great.

-OP

Invite her. I’m 20 yrs older than my sister. She’s been traveling with me since my before my kids were born. When they arrived she continued to travel with me. Kids are now 14 and 17 and they love their aunt. She is who they call if they can’t find me or want to test out how I might react to something they did or said before bringing it to me.

DD is an adventure seeker while DS more likes to smell the roses. DD and my sister often go jet skiing, snowboarding, parasailing while I hang with DS. Going with her aunt is to much more fun than going with boring old mom.

And as a bonus my sister follows the kids on social media. She’s quick to let me know when something is up. Obviously your kids are no where near social media age but my point it start building the relationship now.

[Anonymous]

Only if you invite her as a sitter and pay her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s not going to be a babysitter. She can interact 0 with our kids if she doesn’t want to. That’s won’t happen because she loves our 3 year old, but even if the extent of her interaction with her is 15 mins of chatting a day, that is great.

-OP

Then nothing from your OP makes sense. Why just this one year, when you want your 3 year old to have more attention, and not future years? If you don’t expect her to give your 3 year old any attention?

Also pro tip here, you can give your 3 year old your undivided attention when you have a 4 month old. 4 month old is along for the ride. If you want one year of babysitting use it when you have a 4 year old and a 16 month old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you invite her, make it clear it is a one time event. We took MIL and SIL on trips with the kids and now they expect to be invited every year (and want us to pay). They are furious about not being invited on our summer trip despite the fact we told them a year ago we wanted to do something on our own. It is very awkward.

Also make it clear she is not there to babysit.

[Anonymous]

It would be lovely to invite her but DO NOT ASK HER TO BABYSIT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not going to be a babysitter. She can interact 0 with our kids if she doesn’t want to. That’s won’t happen because she loves our 3 year old, but even if the extent of her interaction with her is 15 mins of chatting a day, that is great.

-OP

Invite her. I’m 20 yrs older than my sister. She’s been traveling with me since my before my kids were born. When they arrived she continued to travel with me. Kids are now 14 and 17 and they love their aunt. She is who they call if they can’t find me or want to test out how I might react to something they did or said before bringing it to me.

DD is an adventure seeker while DS more likes to smell the roses. DD and my sister often go jet skiing, snowboarding, parasailing while I hang with DS. Going with her aunt is to much more fun than going with boring old mom.

And as a bonus my sister follows the kids on social media. She’s quick to let me know when something is up. Obviously your kids are no where near social media age but my point it start building the relationship now.

Oh, this is so lovely. Thank you for sharing. My kids had an aunt like this but she passed away before they were teens. I treasure the relationship they had and am so, so sad it was cut short. (And of course she didn't come on all of our family vacations. But we loved sharing some of them with her.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not going to be a babysitter. She can interact 0 with our kids if she doesn’t want to. That’s won’t happen because she loves our 3 year old, but even if the extent of her interaction with her is 15 mins of chatting a day, that is great.

-OP

Invite her. I’m 20 yrs older than my sister. She’s been traveling with me since my before my kids were born. When they arrived she continued to travel with me. Kids are now 14 and 17 and they love their aunt. She is who they call if they can’t find me or want to test out how I might react to something they did or said before bringing it to me.

DD is an adventure seeker while DS more likes to smell the roses. DD and my sister often go jet skiing, snowboarding, parasailing while I hang with DS. Going with her aunt is to much more fun than going with boring old mom.

And as a bonus my sister follows the kids on social media. She’s quick to let me know when something is up. Obviously your kids are no where near social media age but my point it start building the relationship now.

Maybe you missed the part where OP said they don’t usually invite her and will not again. So totally different scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not going to be a babysitter. She can interact 0 with our kids if she doesn’t want to. That’s won’t happen because she loves our 3 year old, but even if the extent of her interaction with her is 15 mins of chatting a day, that is great.

-OP

Invite her. I’m 20 yrs older than my sister. She’s been traveling with me since my before my kids were born. When they arrived she continued to travel with me. Kids are now 14 and 17 and they love their aunt. She is who they call if they can’t find me or want to test out how I might react to something they did or said before bringing it to me.

DD is an adventure seeker while DS more likes to smell the roses. DD and my sister often go jet skiing, snowboarding, parasailing while I hang with DS. Going with her aunt is to much more fun than going with boring old mom.

And as a bonus my sister follows the kids on social media. She’s quick to let me know when something is up. Obviously your kids are no where near social media age but my point it start building the relationship now.

Maybe you missed the part where OP said they don’t usually invite her and will not again. So totally different scenario.

I didn’t say we won’t invite her again. I just don’t want the expectation to be that she gets invited on every trip from now on since there are 3-4 a year. Maybe once a year, tops.