Inviting SIL to come on trip with us

[Anonymous]

DH and I have taken long weekend beach trips for the major long summer weekends (Memorial Day, Jul 4, Labor Day), just us and our 3 year old, for the past 2 years. We have a new 4 month old and are planning our first trip away. We thought about inviting our SiL, who lives 5 min away from us, along on the trip since she gets along great with our 3 year old and we are busier with the 4 month old now.

If we invited her this time, would it be weird if we didn’t invite her in the future? We dont necessarily want her joining on every family trip, it just makes sense for this one to give 3 year old more adult attention. She would definitely want to come.

[Anonymous]

You’re going to pay her, right?

[Anonymous]

Is she going to be the babysitter?

[Anonymous]

You are not inviting her to join you on vacation. You are looking for a babysitter on this one trip. That is clear from your post. My suggestion is not to open this can of worms.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you shouldn't have had two children if you couldn't give them enough attention? Why is it Aunt Larla's problem?

[Anonymous]

I would just hire a local nanny.

[Anonymous]

Drop the 3 year old off at the kennel and go enjoy your new baby.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you actually think this won't cause resentment?

[Anonymous]

You’re clearly inviting her to be a nanny/ babysitter. Please don’t do this unless you’re totally okay with her doing her own thing when it suits her like any other invited guest.

[Anonymous]

Is your SIL a college student looking for temporary nanny work? If you're hiring her, great. If not, YTA.

And if you're looking for a week of free childcare, you do not need to worry that she is going to want to come on future trips. You might want to think about whether she'll stay the whole week for this one, though.

[Anonymous]

OMG at the responses. Let’s just assume that all adult relationships here are healthy and the aunt loves spending time with her nieces/nephew. Invite her with zero expectation that she’ll provide childcare and have fun. No, she won’t expect you to invite her in the future.

[Anonymous]

It’s incredibly rude to bring her only as a babysitter. I say this as someone who has a pretty good relationship with my own younger, single sister in law and have asked her to babysit before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG at the responses. Let’s just assume that all adult relationships here are healthy and the aunt loves spending time with her nieces/nephew. Invite her with zero expectation that she’ll provide childcare and have fun. No, she won’t expect you to invite her in the future.

I think people are reacting to the OP’s statements that they only want to bring her to give the 3 year old attention (and definitely won’t want to bring her in the future when she is less useful). I think it’s fine to enjoy inviting people along who are also helpful, but it really does sound like they only want her there for her services.

[Anonymous]

If you invite her, make it clear it is a one time event. We took MIL and SIL on trips with the kids and now they expect to be invited every year (and want us to pay). They are furious about not being invited on our summer trip despite the fact we told them a year ago we wanted to do something on our own. It is very awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG at the responses. Let’s just assume that all adult relationships here are healthy and the aunt loves spending time with her nieces/nephew. Invite her with zero expectation that she’ll provide childcare and have fun. No, she won’t expect you to invite her in the future.

I agree with this. I am super close with my twin nieces and would have enjoyed a trip like this, but never went on one bc my awful sibling and their spouse would have viewed it as free babysitting. But I would have loved to go and be a part of a family experience.