How much do you "let go" in your relationship?

[Anonymous]

We both let go A LOT. Why not? We love each other and are aligned on all the important things.

[Anonymous]

I "let go" DH looks at women walking down the street while driving. He only looks at women, a man with a child? NO, a man with a dog no. Just women, mostly women in tight pants or work out tops. It's getting really old and I'm really losing respect for him at this point. I mean its not like he's looking at everyone on the street just women.

Over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let go her way all the time and yet she is unhappy and blames me. Some adult DW are just childish and are not able to take responsibilities for their own decisions and actions and have a knack for blaming DH. That has been my married life.

Like what issues does she blame you for?

[Anonymous]

DH is pretty great. But we have both made the mistake of continually letting it go when we don't put effort into our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never ever critique HOW the other person does something. What does it matter if I fold laundry as I take it out of the dryer while he takes it all out and folds it from a basket while watching tv? It gets done and that's what counts.

We don't critique what the other gives the kids for their lunches. We only buy stuff we're okay with the kids eating, so it isn't a big deal if he was going to give them dried apricots Tuesday but I gave them Monday.

This is quite possibly one of the weirdest things I have ever read on here.

An example of letting something go is something you would otherwise have some ground to say something about. You think dried apricots would ever be a source of conflict?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never ever critique HOW the other person does something. What does it matter if I fold laundry as I take it out of the dryer while he takes it all out and folds it from a basket while watching tv? It gets done and that's what counts.

We don't critique what the other gives the kids for their lunches. We only buy stuff we're okay with the kids eating, so it isn't a big deal if he was going to give them dried apricots Tuesday but I gave them Monday.

This is quite possibly one of the weirdest things I have ever read on here.

An example of letting something go is something you would otherwise have some ground to say something about. You think dried apricots would ever be a source of conflict?

You missed her point. Neither puts candy into the kids lunches. It’s ok to have dried apricots two days in a row. They have automated not needing to let go.
-NP

[Anonymous]

I’m the opposite of a nag. I never criticize my DH. Wearing something ugly? It’s your body. Eating unhealthy for the third day in a row? It’s your life. Some dumb political take I disagree with? Not my view, but I won’t waste time arguing.

We are very happily married. In some ways, I think the key to marital bliss is shutting your mouth 99% of the time you feel like complaining. Most things will pass, and men by and large do not respond to any sort of criticism. They do however, love women who are generally happy and enjoy life. And happy, cheerful women ironically inspire men to be better IME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of a nag. I never criticize my DH. Wearing something ugly? It’s your body. Eating unhealthy for the third day in a row? It’s your life. Some dumb political take I disagree with? Not my view, but I won’t waste time arguing.

We are very happily married. In some ways, I think the key to marital bliss is shutting your mouth 99% of the time you feel like complaining. Most things will pass, and men by and large do not respond to any sort of criticism. They do however, love women who are generally happy and enjoy life. And happy, cheerful women ironically inspire men to be better IME.

I rarely criticize given I have more stupid flaws than my husband. If started criticizing he’d fire back in spades and I’d lose the war. We are very happy so it seems to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let go when it comes to politics. He's more conservative than I am and I try not to argue, even when the holes in his arguments might as well be craters on the moon.

He sounds like he struggles with cognitive dissonance and having to actually admit when he's wrong (aka pride & ego).

There are three types of cognitive dissonance and ways of handling the uncomfortability thar stems from it:

1. Change your beliefs
2. Change your action
3. Change action perception (also known as; justifying your beliefs and actions to win an argument, even if you know what you're saying isn't true)

Your man does #3.
Which means that no matter how much factual evidence is presented to him, he will make justifications in order to not be forced to change his beliefs (usually justifying immoral or unethical behavior).

That's all pride and ego.

I'll bet if you really think about it, it's not just politics where you have to concede.
You probably ALWAYS have to be he one to walk away.