Is it unreasonable to expect your husband to be…employed?

[Anonymous]

Op, what’s getting the way of you being able to answer your question on your own? Why do you need to crowd source this? Don’t you have friends and family that can help you see what’s going on here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are paying all expenses? You HAVE a child, and it’s your DH. If you did not pay the bills, how would he be able to pursue his artistic endeavors? He’d have to get a job.

It sounds like he has made his position very clear. Either accept your life as it is, or leave (and jf you do have a child with him, expect to single-parent and support your DH as another dependent).

He is making enough to pay our rent and car expenses.

[Anonymous]

Move out today. I am serious. Divorce is easy without kids.

[Anonymous]

Troll fail.

[Anonymous]

If you had a kid/kids with this man you would not only be working FT, you’d be doing 95% of the child care. Do not have kids with this man. You would be better as a single parent. Hell if you’re making $110k now and he’s making $40-$50k, you could job hop a bit and probably get up to $160k within a few years on your own and then you don’t even need his income. He is dead weight, a kid himself. Very common with men sadly.

[Anonymous]

If this isn’t a troll post then you should move out right now. Literally today. Drain all combined accounts first.

[Anonymous]

My BFF has a partner like this. Self-employed, low earning, zero interest in a conventional lifestyle. He contributes what he has to their joint expenses and they were able to buy a house in a LCOL area. No interest in kids. She’s stayed with him for 15 years. But the thing is, he’s incredibly warm, appreciative of her, super industrious around the house & yard, built most od their house from the ground up, and they share a bunch of hobbies/small business ventures. He’s an odd but great guy and I am happy for my friend.

Is your DH at all like that?

[Anonymous]

OP is untrustworthy. First her husband doesn't have a job, then he has a job that has no revenue, then he has a job that makes $50k (which is not nothing). I imagine OP gaslights her husband similarly.

OP should get divorced, but not because her husband is dead weight, but because marriages aren't happy if both partners aren't honest with themselves and with one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Run!!!

+1 What a loser.

Not only is he a loser, but he would be an irresponsible father. Furthermore, he is inconsiderate, he does not value your wishes and priorities.

I would have never married such a guy. Even if he had family money, his attitude and behavior would still not be acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is untrustworthy. First her husband doesn't have a job, then he has a job that has no revenue, then he has a job that makes $50k (which is not nothing). I imagine OP gaslights her husband similarly.

OP should get divorced, but not because her husband is dead weight, but because marriages aren't happy if both partners aren't honest with themselves and with one another.

DP. Why do you conclude that "OP is untrustworthy"? Running a music business that generates only 50k profit is the same as not being employed.

[Anonymous]

You married a child who wants to remain a child. He won't change. Does he also play a lot of video games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this even a question? Tell him that if he wants a roof over his had he needs to work for it because you dont care about supporting his adult child existence. Do you make a lot of money OP? Or do now or both of you come from money and/or have a trust fund?

Op here. I only make 110k and he has made around 50k-40k over the past two years. No we do not come from money.

NP and total or per year? Total is problematic, per year it just depends on the trajectory of his business and the potential upside. Most businesses lose money the first few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Run!!!

+1 he is using you. Run as far and as fast as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is untrustworthy. First her husband doesn't have a job, then he has a job that has no revenue, then he has a job that makes $50k (which is not nothing). I imagine OP gaslights her husband similarly.

OP should get divorced, but not because her husband is dead weight, but because marriages aren't happy if both partners aren't honest with themselves and with one another.

DP. Why do you conclude that "OP is untrustworthy"? Running a music business that generates only 50k profit is the same as not being employed.

NP. No it's not the same. He is employed and making money. The amount isn't much and it's understandable she's concerned, but the title is misleading. He's underemployed not unemployed.

[Anonymous]

Just end it op. He’s. It going to step up as partner or dad. Cut your losses kw