Phone addiction

[Anonymous]

I am still stuck on OP's kid walking alone in the dark.

Big whoop OP you work so do millions of other parents some are even single.

A phone is not going to protect your kid. That is absurd.

Your kid is addicted to their phone because of you and your bad parenting.

They have had unlimited access for a long time and you let them. This is on you.

[Anonymous]

Get her a Gabb phone or watch. Or lock the current phone down. She can only call or text you, her other parent, and other contacts you're ok with (e.g., 911 since you're concerned about safety). No internet. No apps.

[Anonymous]

This type of OP just makes me irate. How dare you come on here and throw sass while asking for advice on how to fix a problem with your child that YOU created. It’s up to you to do the hard parenting now. There’s no easy fix, there’s no magic word or tactic that will change her addiction. View this like you would if you handed her a pack of cigarettes and now she up to 5 packs a day…how do you expect a CHILD to resist this addictive temptation?! Be her parent and woman the F up.

[Anonymous]

I can never get over DCUMs crazy helicoptering. In December it gets dark at 5pm. You seriously wouldn't let a middle schooler walk home at 5???

And I honestly don't see the problem with later either, depending on where you live but to have darkness as a bright line is just nuts to me.

[Anonymous]

We wanted our 13-year-old to have a phone to communicate during emergencies on trips home from an afterschool activity and so we got him an extremely dumb phone that can only call a few numbers that we approve.
Teenagers and tweens absolutely do not need phones that allow them to do everything they want all of the time. It’s on you as the parent to shut that down and fix the problem. Take the phone away, replace it with a dumb object that is not so attractive.

[Anonymous]

Another for flip phone for very reason that walking in dark/walking alone- they need to be alert to surroundings and NOT on phone, which from OP, they would have head in phone and not watching around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another for flip phone for very reason that walking in dark/walking alone- they need to be alert to surroundings and NOT on phone, which from OP, they would have head in phone and not watching around them.

Agree, for addicted kids, the walk is much more dangerous with a phone than without one.

And what would a phone do if there was a problem? I can see it being useful for a sprained ankle or other injury, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

Switch her to a dumb phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an unpopular opinion, but your child doesn't need a phone to walk from school to activities because 1.) for decades children did not have phones and 2.) if your child is truly incapable of self-regulation, it is far more dangerous to use the phone and cross streets than it is to walk without a phone. If she is hurt or sick, someone will help her, and you can have an ID card. If she is abducted, the phone won't stop it.

You can also get your child a dumb phone. Just calling. Maybe texting. That's it.

People complain about this but are not willing to do the hard work of saying no or enforcing serious limits. We did, and I now have a 15 year old who uses the phone in a healthy way (makes other choices, puts it away at night, limits cumulative daily screen time to about 90 minutes 9/10 days).

+1 This is the answer, OP. Also, I would recommend to talk to her about WHY you are taking away her smartphone. She needs to understand that it is damaging to her. She needs to understand about screen addiction. Maybe sit down with her and watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is an unpopular opinion, but your child doesn't need a phone to walk from school to activities because 1.) for decades children did not have phones and 2.) if your child is truly incapable of self-regulation, it is far more dangerous to use the phone and cross streets than it is to walk without a phone. If she is hurt or sick, someone will help her, and you can have an ID card. If she is abducted, the phone won't stop it.

You can also get your child a dumb phone. Just calling. Maybe texting. That's it.

People complain about this but are not willing to do the hard work of saying no or enforcing serious limits. We did, and I now have a 15 year old who uses the phone in a healthy way (makes other choices, puts it away at night, limits cumulative daily screen time to about 90 minutes 9/10 days).

OP here, can you tell me more about it? Did you start with a smart phone and then dial it back? I’m willing to do the serious work but this was not something that was an issue with my oldest - or on my radar at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am still stuck on OP's kid walking alone in the dark.

Big whoop OP you work so do millions of other parents some are even single.

A phone is not going to protect your kid. That is absurd.

Your kid is addicted to their phone because of you and your bad parenting.

They have had unlimited access for a long time and you let them. This is on you.

You literally know nothing about me. “Long time” - how long do you think my kid has access? And I get you want to hold your teenagers hand while they cross the street to get to college. Where I grew up kids walk places. But again, I, sure your fat kid is driven around the block because they are lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can never get over DCUMs crazy helicoptering. In December it gets dark at 5pm. You seriously wouldn't let a middle schooler walk home at 5???

And I honestly don't see the problem with later either, depending on where you live but to have darkness as a bright line is just nuts to me.

.

+1

[Anonymous]

Dumb phone is the answer

[Anonymous]

Is this an iphone? Parental controls will help.
My kids got phones when they started middle school because they were biking 2 miles to their school.

We have to approve any app they download, we set screentime limits - and there might be a way for you to limit text messages to certain times of the day. We don't allow social media.

So basically my kids have dumb phones, but I can track them so I know where they are, especially when they are walking/biking in the dark. And they can text with their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, why is she walking a mile to activities in the dark?

Because I hate my child obviously. Why do you think? We live in a rural area and both my husband and I work.

Easy! Get her a no internet phone. https://www.bark.us/learn/ps-bark-phone-starter-plan-main/?utm_source=aw&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_campaign=features-phone-google&utm_content=145858068392&utm_term=e&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvJHp9sWKhQMVWF1yCh0-AAOlEAAYASAAEgII_fD_BwE