Phone addiction

Anonymous
My middle child is addicted to her phone. Something we never experience with my very social older child. She won’t let it out of her hand and has gotten caught twice using it in school where it is not allowed. We ground her, we take it away, etc but as soon as she gets it back - same issues.

She needs her phone because she walks from school to activities in the dark for about a mile after school and honestly, I don’t feel it’s safe.

Anyone deal with this and come out on the other side?
Anonymous
So, why is she walking a mile to activities in the dark?
Anonymous
Get her a flip phone for the walk. This is hard. The addiction is real and way too much for teen brains
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So, why is she walking a mile to activities in the dark?

This
Anonymous
I would recommend therapy. I haven’t done it yet for my HS DD, it’s not that bad yet, but I have a mental note to get her therapy once she starts crossing the line. It is an actual addiction.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So, why is she walking a mile to activities in the dark?


Because I hate my child obviously. Why do you think? We live in a rural area and both my husband and I work.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So, why is she walking a mile to activities in the dark?


Because I hate my child obviously. Why do you think? We live in a rural area and both my husband and I work.


Extremely unsafe. Where do you live?
Take the phone away for the foreseeable future and get her a GABB watch if you insist on being able to reach her.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So, why is she walking a mile to activities in the dark?


Because I hate my child obviously. Why do you think? We live in a rural area and both my husband and I work.


Find another way. If she were in 2nd grade you wouldn't let her do that activity. She can't handle having a phone.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Get her a flip phone for the walk. This is hard. The addiction is real and way too much for teen brains


^This. I have children at 6, 8, 10, and 15. Very social--sports, clubs, hanging out with friends. They have one flip phone among them all to be used for emergency calls, handed out as needed. You don't actually have to get your kid a smart phone. Their life will be better without it.
Anonymous
Get the kid a watch she’s not mature enough to have a phone yet. And go tech free this summer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get her a flip phone for the walk. This is hard. The addiction is real and way too much for teen brains


^This. I have children at 6, 8, 10, and 15. Very social--sports, clubs, hanging out with friends. They have one flip phone among them all to be used for emergency calls, handed out as needed. You don't actually have to get your kid a smart phone. Their life will be better without it.


Your 15 year old must be a social outcast or in a catholic school.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get her a flip phone for the walk. This is hard. The addiction is real and way too much for teen brains


^This. I have children at 6, 8, 10, and 15. Very social--sports, clubs, hanging out with friends. They have one flip phone among them all to be used for emergency calls, handed out as needed. You don't actually have to get your kid a smart phone. Their life will be better without it.


You are a complete outlier here. No one else will agree a 15 year old doesn’t need a phone. You’re stifling your child’s social development.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get her a flip phone for the walk. This is hard. The addiction is real and way too much for teen brains


^This. I have children at 6, 8, 10, and 15. Very social--sports, clubs, hanging out with friends. They have one flip phone among them all to be used for emergency calls, handed out as needed. You don't actually have to get your kid a smart phone. Their life will be better without it.


You are a complete outlier here. No one else will agree a 15 year old doesn’t need a phone. You’re stifling your child’s social development.


PP here. Think about the implications of actually believing that. It's positively nutty.
Anonymous
I know this is an unpopular opinion, but your child doesn't need a phone to walk from school to activities because 1.) for decades children did not have phones and 2.) if your child is truly incapable of self-regulation, it is far more dangerous to use the phone and cross streets than it is to walk without a phone. If she is hurt or sick, someone will help her, and you can have an ID card. If she is abducted, the phone won't stop it.

You can also get your child a dumb phone. Just calling. Maybe texting. That's it.

People complain about this but are not willing to do the hard work of saying no or enforcing serious limits. We did, and I now have a 15 year old who uses the phone in a healthy way (makes other choices, puts it away at night, limits cumulative daily screen time to about 90 minutes 9/10 days).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would recommend therapy. I haven’t done it yet for my HS DD, it’s not that bad yet, but I have a mental note to get her therapy once she starts crossing the line. It is an actual addiction.


Why would you let it get that far? Are you serious? YOU are the parent. YOUR job is to not let it get that far.
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