Frustration Tolerance

[Anonymous]

My son has adhd and anxiety - very low frustration tolerance. My son requires medication to treat his hyperactivity and emotional dysregulation, but if frustration tolerance is your child’s only symptom, I would reach to a psychologist for an evaluation. There are cognitive strategies a third grader can work on to help control their anxiety. If it’s debilitating I wouldn’t rule out medication, medication is a godsend for kids who need it, but of course never where you want to start.

[Anonymous]

My son was obsessive a rigid at that age.

We did CDT and he would get challenges where we told him for example… A would happen like go get ice cream after school. Then pick him up and say plans changed we don’t have time, he knew it was a challenge and he would breath and work through the feeling.

After about 6 months of this he was good to go

[Anonymous]

My son has trouble with frustration tolerance. He has adhd and anxiety. Intuniv and therapy helped. He’s also in resilience builders program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has all the diagnoses. But there were a lot of kids like that in their social skills class. Most had ADHD but not all had diagnoses. We went to Stepping Stones at In Step in Merrifield.

Op here. DC is in the resilience builders program at Alvord baker. It’s a good program but the effects aren’t immediate and will take time to put the skills into use. I guess the issue is that DC doesn’t require medication but is still struggling at times in social settings. Maybe dc just needs to mature?

My DC also at Alvord baker resilience builder program, now in 4th grade. Also very, very rigid and like to enforce rules. But has made tremendous progress during this last year - 3rd grade was full of tantrums and meltdowns, several time at school, which was a social disaster.

DC has diagnosed ADHD and was medicated during this time - we tried to tweak meds but ultimately they stayed the same. DC also started individual therapy and the resilience builder.

What changed (at least from my perspective)? First of all, DC saw the negative impact of their behavior on friendships. While they didn’t fully understand how/why someone else could be behaving badly (not following rules) and then DC would get the cold shoulder when they pointed it out, DC did understand that they were getting the cold shoulder for being rigid. I worked with DC for about 4-5 months talking through walking away. I was very explicit that people saw DC as the problem when they lost their temper. By the end of the summer DC managed to stop losing their sh!y at everything.

Resilience builder and individual Therapy have worked on the same thing - rigid thinking and social skills, and DC has made HUGE progress. DC still prefers individual work or work with one other person, but can do group work without blowing up. DC can plays games at recess and be flexible, and knows when to walk away when they can’t contain their frustration. DC has bloomed (compared to last year ) socially, and plays with different groups now. From what DC tells me, the explicit instruction from their Therapist and resilience builder has given them very specific tools on what to do, and DC is able to apply.

If your DC can’t access the tools, ask the resilience builder leader what they recommend- maybe it’s more practice, maybe it’s medication, maybe it is just maturity.

Wishing you the best, this stuff is really hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they autistic? Being treated for anxiety?

Definitely not autistic. Not anxious either. Just isn’t very resilient in reeling in big feelings before they become an issue.

this is my dc's presentation and central issue that we grapple with and he was given an asd + adhd dx. have you had a neuropsych? mine is very gray area tool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this! A nueropysch uncovered details that have helped explain the underlying why. We are systematically trying different interventions and supports with medication soon but last. The 1x1 therapist for social skills has helped immensely, but feels like all kids are struggling with friendships in this over programmed and lonely age. Playing card games slowly was rec to build frustration tolerance and seems to help. You might probe for a diagnosis again? Good luck!

Thanks op here! What sort of details did the neuropsych undercover that helped explain the underlying why?

not this pp but less so that the neurospsych uncovered the 'why' as much as that poor emotional regulation is a hallmark symptom of adhd and cognitive rigidity is a hallmark symptom of asd. Once you understand that (with or without neuropsych) you can begin to troubleshoot. as others have pointed out, if a provider concurs that adhd plays a part, then medication is your first line of offense. If your dc is displaying autistic traits like rigidity and not picking up the social cues that being the opposite of easy going creates social issues, then it's really about working on it with them. but for audhd kids they often need the medication first so they have that extra help controlling their impulses to be rigid and bossy and can take a beat. the emotional regulation is a tough nut to crack.

[Anonymous]

Hi, resurrecting this kid, as I'm trying to piece together a plan to help my kid who displays a lot of these traits - low frustration tolerance, resulting in some not so great social consequences with friends. Can anyone recommend an individual therapist that they've had positive experience with? I'm also looking at enrolling in the next round of resilience builders group at Alvord Baker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, resurrecting this kid, as I'm trying to piece together a plan to help my kid who displays a lot of these traits - low frustration tolerance, resulting in some not so great social consequences with friends. Can anyone recommend an individual therapist that they've had positive experience with? I'm also looking at enrolling in the next round of resilience builders group at Alvord Baker.

Alvord Baker should have recommendations. I think there's many therapists that can do what you described. The challenge is a good fit with the kid and ability to get on schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was obsessive a rigid at that age.

We did CDT and he would get challenges where we told him for example… A would happen like go get ice cream after school. Then pick him up and say plans changed we don’t have time, he knew it was a challenge and he would breath and work through the feeling.

After about 6 months of this he was good to go

What is CDT? You would tell him in advance it was a challenge?