Don't call us.. we will call you

[Anonymous]

Maybe they each like to do there own thing while there and do not necessarily want you to question that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We dont need to speak by phone- it is fine not to, we are all adults--- but when someone specifically says "don't call us, we will call you" there is a certain expectation.

You know that this is a phrase, right? Outside of being a song from the 70s it essentially means we'll call if there's an emergency. Not a guarantee of communication.

It sounds like they had no problem communicating via text so in this situation they communicated based on their preference. FWIW, I have a sister who lives near Thailand and we spend the majority of the year texting b/c it's such a pain in the a** to try to plan around the time difference to talk.

[Anonymous]

My parents used to go on 8-10 week vacations in the summer. We knew where they were going but not where they were staying. My dad really liked getting away from work and being unreachable. We never communicated while they were gone. This was well before cell phones. They always came home safe and sound. It was not personal. They just wanted to feel like they were away, on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Nonsense like this makes me miss the world before cell phones and cheap international calling. When I was 16 I went to the USSR for a month and didn’t call my parents until I was waiting for my connecting flight home from the east coast.

Ask them to send a freaking postcard.

[Anonymous]

Do you know what the time difference is? Two months without a phone call seems fine to me.

[Anonymous]

It’s sad when you hear that phrase from your parents. We need to maintain voice conversations.

[Anonymous]

I know when I travel, I get into a "zone" and disconnect with people back home. I don't like to break out of that zone with obligatory phone calls.

They're enjoying themselves. Nothing sad about it. Wanting them to call--thus having to coordinate time differences--sounds kind of needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad when you hear that phrase from your parents. We need to maintain voice conversations.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Is there a history of people calling them and waking them up?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s not unreasonable for the following;

1 international call they may not want you to call them so you or them can save money

2. Time zone difference. I m from Thailand. There were times that my parents ( or friends) tried to call me at 1 to 4 am for non emergency issues . People can be insensitive about others time zone. I just muted my phone nightly.

Our US eastern time is 12 to 13 hours behind their time. So basically it’s day here and night on the other side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s not unreasonable for the following;

1 international call they may not want you to call them so you or them can save money

2. Time zone difference. I m from Thailand. There were times that my parents ( or friends) tried to call me at 1 to 4 am for non emergency issues . People can be insensitive about others time zone. I just muted my phone nightly.

Our US eastern time is 12 to 13 hours behind their time. So basically it’s day here and night on the other side.

This is no longer an issue with wifi calling. Every international traveler knows how to call via whatsapp or signal, right,?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: My parents spend 2 months at a Thailand resort every year. I am mid-50's and have 2 adult brothers. We all have families.
Although my parents are older, they are both in great physical and mental health.

Every year before they leave for their trip, they say, "don't call us- we will call you." They always call once. They just got back, and this time they did not call anyone even once. We did communicate more regularly by text (brief texts.)

My question is what do you think is an acceptable level of communication in this situation?

When they return from the trip say the same thing to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: My parents spend 2 months at a Thailand resort every year. I am mid-50's and have 2 adult brothers. We all have families.
Although my parents are older, they are both in great physical and mental health.

Every year before they leave for their trip, they say, "don't call us- we will call you." They always call once. They just got back, and this time they did not call anyone even once. We did communicate more regularly by text (brief texts.)

My question is what do you think is an acceptable level of communication in this situation?

When they return from the trip say the same thing to them.

Is it possible that they think y'all don't really care, hence saving you the display of concern?

[Anonymous]

Are the usually communicative or reserved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad when you hear that phrase from your parents. We need to maintain voice conversations.

I think lots of people do not have this perspective. My parents lived overseas for 4 years and we talked - on the phone - maybe every 4-5 months. Now they travel for 2-3 months at a time and we don't call, just text or email occasionally. But we aren't particularly close.