Already disliking school at 4

[Anonymous]

What kind of cognitive delays? Are you doing ABA?

[Anonymous]

Op here- he does not have autism, so we don’t do Aba. For ex, he is very flexible, easy going, and follows the expected routines. He doesn’t fight going to school, just asks if he can stay home (but doesn’t try to cry about it or run away or anything.) So I’m not sure if/how aba would help. as far as cognitive delays, his play schemes are immature. Like he may drive his truck to the gas station, or make someone a pretend cake in the sandbox, but then doesn’t come up with a third step in his play sequence. He is bad at puzzles. He gets he/she and bedtime/naptime (and similar concepts) mixed up. He can’t play memory.

[Anonymous]

Is your child starting K this fall or in 2025?

[Anonymous]

Somethings not right there. Get him outta there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be difficult for a young child to describe what is wrong. Maybe he feels anxious about the setting. I don’t think I’d push the program if he’s not happy and I don’t think I’d assume it doesn’t bode well for K. My son had apraxia and fine motor delays. My other son had very severe fine motor delays and a phonological disorder. Both benefited most from private therapies. Both were very delayed entering K but had great experiences in our public. But our public school had very small class sizes as it was underenrolled. I volunteered as allowed so I could also be a fly on the wall and see how things were really going. It also allowed me to develop good relationships with their teachers so I could be proactive. My son with apraxia attended many different preschool settings. He attended a school from 2-3 that was mainstream but had a reputation for being inclusive. He had kind teachers but he couldn’t communicate his needs although they assured me they understood him. I hired an SLP to work with him at the school and she reported back that they definitely didn’t. Also that he was always on the periphery. We moved him at 3 to our neighborhood play based preschool where they had an open door policy. I could pop in any time I wanted. They worked hard to integrate him socially. He seemed happy to go. We did LEAP (language preschool at UMD) and they let parents stay and observe from behind glass. But he was recommended for a language class through MCPS and he became upset about going. It was a red flag for me and I pulled him.

Leap is a good suggestion. If they don’t have space now, they have a summer program. But, they have changed directors several times so find out about who runs it first.

[Anonymous]

OP, get a good private evaluation to try to figure out what's going on. It may be hard to get a "good" one with the language concerns but it's also a good place to start beyond the other suggestions. I'd pull him if he's that unhappy too.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think that school might not be a good fit. It sounds somewhat academic, with the doing letters, and some kids just aren't ready for that formal learning at 4, even NT kids. If he's not happy, it's not a good fit for him.

I'd move him, and do his therapies privately.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would try a couple of things. One, send an outside specialist to observe (either an educational consultant or a psychologist). His staff may be amazing, but there might be disruptive children in class, or he needs additional supports that are not in the current IEP (could be something simple, like flexible seating, or pictorial reminders and more multisensory learning aids). Also, what does his progress report and ELA K readiness testing say?

I would strongly consider not sending to K but do another year of junior pre-K in a private setting with some private services. It's pricey, but 4 is too early to start hating school. K will be more demanding and complex and there doesn't seem to be a plan how to handle it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- he does not have autism, so we don’t do Aba. For ex, he is very flexible, easy going, and follows the expected routines. He doesn’t fight going to school, just asks if he can stay home (but doesn’t try to cry about it or run away or anything.) So I’m not sure if/how aba would help. as far as cognitive delays, his play schemes are immature. Like he may drive his truck to the gas station, or make someone a pretend cake in the sandbox, but then doesn’t come up with a third step in his play sequence. He is bad at puzzles. He gets he/she and bedtime/naptime (and similar concepts) mixed up. He can’t play memory.

Autism is not necessarily rigidity.

[Anonymous]

OP again -

Thanks everyone. To answer some qs:
1) I had him evaluated by developmental pediatrician and pediatric neurology and they ruled out autism, but who knows what his deal is. I just mentioned the flexibility /easy going piece because I thought ABA was primarily for disruptive behaviors. His main behavior issue is brushing teeth, but that is more sensory, so I'm guessing OT would be the appropriate therapy. (His only out of school therapy at the moment is speech.) But I admittedly don't know a ton about ABA.
2) Yes, he is going to K in 2025.
3) His therapists now were also his former itinerant therapists, and his OT and PT say he is growing more at his new school and working harder/less distracted (speech was always pull out so she does not have specific insight).
4) Where we live (not DMV), we would lose out on IEP services if we delayed K.
5) We *do* have budget for possible private school and/or tutoring and/or private therapy, but my instinct is that, since we don't have a specific school for developmental delays, public would > private for him. I'm not aware of private therapists who make school-calls but I can put that on the action list. There are members of his team I think would be candid with me about sending to private pre-K even though that is not the "party line." Assuming he does go to K on time, I'm hoping to lay the groundwork to retain him.
6) His IEP doesn't include ELA goals. It is more like pre-writing skills (bilateral hand activities, crossing midline), playground skills, speech goals, expanding his play schemes. He has met or is making good progress to all his goals except OT goals are floundering a bit.
7) Re maybe he "needs additional supports that are not in the current IEP" - that's exactly what I am wondering about. I will ask about the pictorial reminders, seating charts - any other ideas?

[Anonymous]

Op, get him private speech therapy twice a week and or once a week. Now is the key window to get therapies.