Help me get fired with severance

[Anonymous]

Do you have any dirt on the higher ups?

[Anonymous]

Never walk away severance. But it can have a risk.

Best technique is start job hunting while slacking off work and taking days off for interviews

It is difficult to also negotiate a sign on when unemployed.

To “stick the landing” you have to get a new job in pipeline with sign on and post background checks and pre start date you nail it severance old job.

Only once I pulled it off. 12-23 offer letter with 120k sign on starting mid January with last day old job 12-31with 450k severance. A 570k payday.

Second time went down with the ship. Made mistake in late 2019 on a job offer with a big pay cut turning it down as although it looked like may get canned had like $130k severance. Backfired as got canned very early 2020 and job market was a nightmare. It cost me. I risked it for the biscuit and got burnt. The $130k severance was nothing next to being unemployed at height of Covid

Unless you stick the landing risky.

I tried it again and sadly only 50k severance and 5k sign in. But I stuck it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I know someone who has been doing this for over five years. We are not going to give him a dime. His bare minimum is noted, and he will not be getting raises or bonuses. Stalemate.

Your best move is to find a new position.

Not a dime, except for the five years salary which is probably more than 200k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I know someone who has been doing this for over five years. We are not going to give him a dime. His bare minimum is noted, and he will not be getting raises or bonuses. Stalemate.

Your best move is to find a new position.

Not a dime, except for the five years salary which is probably more than 200k.

He's still working. Just doing the minimum, effectively. Which is probably half the work force really. He gives no reason to fire him, but also no reason for a bonus or raise. Our bonuses is where the real money is.

[Anonymous]

Nobody is “protected” like you think you are. Nobody. Read about “at will employment”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know you would get 200k severance? Is this company policy? Why does boss have it out for you? File a complaint with HR and see if they will send you on your way with the 200k to make it all go away.

It’s written into my contract. I don’t know why boss has it out for me but he’s the owner. HR has no power.

I really doubt that. What is the exact language?

[Anonymous]

I am shocked that you are apparently senior enough to have a $200k severance, yet junior enough to have “job duties”

[Anonymous]

Start dressing like the opposite sex and change your pronouns to something random like furry/meow meow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any dirt on the higher ups?

Good idea! Be like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.

HR: "you're one twisted $@&#".

Spacey: "no, just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never walk away severance. But it can have a risk.

Best technique is start job hunting while slacking off work and taking days off for interviews

It is difficult to also negotiate a sign on when unemployed.

To “stick the landing” you have to get a new job in pipeline with sign on and post background checks and pre start date you nail it severance old job.

Only once I pulled it off. 12-23 offer letter with 120k sign on starting mid January with last day old job 12-31with 450k severance. A 570k payday.

Second time went down with the ship. Made mistake in late 2019 on a job offer with a big pay cut turning it down as although it looked like may get canned had like $130k severance. Backfired as got canned very early 2020 and job market was a nightmare. It cost me. I risked it for the biscuit and got burnt. The $130k severance was nothing next to being unemployed at height of Covid

Unless you stick the landing risky.

I tried it again and sadly only 50k severance and 5k sign in. But I stuck it.

I'm guessing your work isn't as a writer or editor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never walk away severance. But it can have a risk.

Best technique is start job hunting while slacking off work and taking days off for interviews

It is difficult to also negotiate a sign on when unemployed.

To “stick the landing” you have to get a new job in pipeline with sign on and post background checks and pre start date you nail it severance old job.

Only once I pulled it off. 12-23 offer letter with 120k sign on starting mid January with last day old job 12-31with 450k severance. A 570k payday.

Second time went down with the ship. Made mistake in late 2019 on a job offer with a big pay cut turning it down as although it looked like may get canned had like $130k severance. Backfired as got canned very early 2020 and job market was a nightmare. It cost me. I risked it for the biscuit and got burnt. The $130k severance was nothing next to being unemployed at height of Covid

Unless you stick the landing risky.

I tried it again and sadly only 50k severance and 5k sign in. But I stuck it.

I'm guessing your work isn't as a writer or editor?

Actually I write for living.
Content not grammar important. And I shorten things and don’t use big words. Mainly cause can’t spell then or pronounce them. Also eyesight bad.

My presentations are legendary great. I one took a 52 week project that involved 250 people working 50 hours a week and found 3,000 issues testing and building a two billion dollar system into a 4 slide power point with large font using one syllable words, no sentences, no punctuation and a pretty chart. I recall the board was like dang did you even take a breath you did while presentation under two minutes. No questions.

I often be put up to write presentation and present and have done board presentations in 23 states and 12 counties. One was to explain a billion dollar loss. One slide!

I thing ability to write hurts your career. I take large presentations or reports and slice then down to a nothing. So why write it in first place?

Here is Bible
God Good 👍 😇
Devil Bad 😈👎

Here is Oppenheimer
builds Bomb 💣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody is “protected” like you think you are. Nobody. Read about “at will employment”.

This. You can be fired for any reason but an illegal reason. You cannot be fired because you are black or a woman or unmarried or disabled or Jewish, etc (the protected classifications). That cannot be the REASON you were fired. But a black woman who is Jewish with a disability can be fired for any reason other than that. Employers don't even have to give a reason at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I know someone who has been doing this for over five years. We are not going to give him a dime. His bare minimum is noted, and he will not be getting raises or bonuses. Stalemate.

Your best move is to find a new position.

Not a dime, except for the five years salary which is probably more than 200k.

Also can affect the morale of other employees. I worked with someone who was super hard to fire because she was in two protected classes in a country that actually cares about that kind of stuff (but I was in the US). If they fired her after the 90 day trial they would have had to pay her about a year's salary. So they kept her on and kept paying her for years while the rest of us had to pick up her slack. Super demoralizing that the company wouldn't just take the hit on a one-time payout and the rest of us had to work harder because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know you would get 200k severance? Is this company policy? Why does boss have it out for you? File a complaint with HR and see if they will send you on your way with the 200k to make it all go away.

It’s written into my contract. I don’t know why boss has it out for me but he’s the owner. HR has no power.

I really doubt that. What is the exact language?

DP here. You've never heard of an employment agreement? They are fairly common in the private sector at higher levels. Guaranteed severance is a common feature of said agreement.

[Anonymous]

Typically you get severance for being laid off, not fired.