Which strategy pays off better?
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Anonymous
Sorry, but your logic is actually not consistent. The strict parents deciding on tutoring, courses, ECs are the ones that care the most about status and expensive colleges. Now, many of these kids get a bunch of need-aid, so it isn't expensive on a net cost basis. Your writing style makes me think this is actually you as you sound like an immigrant parent with a 1st gen kid. You don't see TJ parents bragging about their kid going to average schools. |
Anonymous
| Strict parenting often, but not always, leads to needing therapy and sometimes even estrangement. The career is not the only thing you need to consider. |
Anonymous
| A combination of both. |
Anonymous
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Weird that you assume strict parenting -> STEM degree/stable job whereas chill parenting -> art degree/student loans.
I had super chill parents and I have a STEM degree and a stable job. I have friends with strict parents who insisted their kids go to “good” colleges when they weren’t suited didn’t want to — those kids are the ones with loans and degrees they don’t use. I know chill parents who’d didn’t care where the kids ended up and have kids who passed on college or went somewhere cheap enough they didn’t end up with debt. |
Anonymous
Probably strict in the sense of "no way I am sending you to college to major in anything that isn't practical...has to be STEM or finance or something that directly leads to a job". Again, super-prominent attitude in the immigrant community. Usually, this is because the immigrant parent is not particularly well-off and unfortunately has to live their life through their children. They are going to Tiger parent their kid to an UMC lifestyle. What is funny, is you have 90% of the immigrant parents with this attitude, then 50% of the 1st gen parents, then down to 25% or less by the 2nd gen. |
Anonymous
This^^^ Cannot imagine picking your kid's major and forcing them to do what you think they should do. Me, I want my kids to be happy and find their own path in life. Now that does not mean sitting back and watching them explode. I still provide guidance. But they get to pick their major and path in life. My job is to help them understand what their choices might mean. So we discuss possible career paths and majors and that includes what is the typical starting salary, what types of jobs might those be, what is your likely salary 5-10 years in. And then explaining that you need to live a lifestyle you can afford with those choices. So say, if you want to be a teacher that is Awesome. But that typically means lower pay, a requirement to continue education. However, you if your dream is to drive luxury cars, live in a newer 3K+ home in top school district and take a trip to Hawaii/Caribbean yearly and another to Europe, then you might not be able to afford that as a teacher. So you need to adjust your lifestyle choices if that's the career you want. Same for any major. Know that with many StEM degrees you will have a higher initial salary, it will be easier to find a job (there are job listings that say, we want a Mech E or CS major). And if you want to major in Art History, that is good as well. Follow your passion. But do your research and know you have to work a bit more to make yourself marketable, you might need to take "unpaid/lower paying" internships or full time jobs initially to get your foot in the door. You will have to search a bit more for finding your first job(s)....there are many out there and most are not going to say "looking for an art history major", and many of the jobs will use your critical thinking and writing and communication skills, not the "art history" specific knowledge, so you have to be willing to search for those and market yourself. And it might be helpful to take a Stats course or two or some data analytics or business courses to help market yourself. So do what you want, but know what you are getting into. If you love something STEM and can see yourself working in that field, then perhaps major in that and minor in the other passion, or double major. |
Anonymous
YES. In my case, at least. I majored in engineering because that was what dad deemed acceptable to pay for college. Hated it. Hated it so much. Got my degree, and immediately moved across the country to attempt to forge a life for myself not under parental control. I worked an engineering job (that i also hated) just long enough afford to pay for grad school on my own and then completed a masters in teaching and now teach middle school. I make peanuts comparatively (literally less than half my former salary) but am so much happier. I go back to see my parents for a few days every year or two, that's it--I can't stomach being their longer and listening to them judge my choices that are different than theirs. You cannot dictate an adult's life and expect to maintain a healthy relationship. Provide guidance that life is easier when you can pay the bills, but it's okay if they want to be a poet in an old condo of a CEO in a glamorous mansion, so long as they are able to feed, house, and clothe themselves on their poet salary. |
Anonymous
*there. I promise I know how to spell... |
Anonymous
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There are a lot of STEM degrees that pay like crap or are mediocre. Pretty much everything that isn't CS.
Lots of Chem/Engineering/Physics majors making under 100k even several years out of college. Very hard to break into a 200-300k income in those fields. |
Anonymous
And most likely are trust fund babies. You can’t be happy if you can’t make ends meet. |
Anonymous
There is a difference between not being able to afford food and not being able to afford European vacations. The former is stressful, the latter is often an intentional choice to avoid high stress/low satisfaction careers. |
Anonymous
Why go to Europe when Pakistan is cheaper and the same thing? |
Anonymous
What? We are a two teacher household. Definitely not super high earners or trust fund babies. We make a combined $150k in NoVA after each paying our own way through college. We are happy. We will never be wealthy, but we have enough, and that's enough. Life is too short to work a job that brings you misery just so you can have a bigger house or newer car or extra vacations. |
Anonymous
+1 we just want our kids to pick a major they like and live a lifestyle that can be supported by it |
Anonymous
It's a given that a BA/BS in Chemistry alone will not propel you quickly to 100K+. You need a PHD to really do research/meaningful work in that field. A BA/BS will let you be a grunt worker in someones lab. But that is not a hidden fact. It's well known if you choose that path. However you can combine your chemistry with other majors/minors and have more choices (minor in CS/data science/business). physics is similar---if you really want to "do physics" you need a PHD, but you can do a lot of other jobs (think Mech E type, math/analytical) if you want that path. But Physics research with only a BA/BS isn't going to get you a high paying job. But then again, if you want to go that route, you easily know you need an advanced degree to do the "meaningful" work. However, I"d argue, most engineering jobs will put you in the 100K+ within 3-5 year, even in MCOL areas. And the path to 300K+ jobs is switching from purely technical path to management. But you will get to $150/200K if in a M/HCOL area after 5-10 years. |