Converting to Judaism - anyone willing to share their experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've had three people in our family convert. Two "converted too far" and wanted to make their spouses be more religious than they wanted to be, and those two ended in divorce.

The one who did not do that went to conversion classes (for a year? 18 months?) weekly, and is not kosher, but does light candles and have challah on Friday nights, and the older kid goes to Hebrew School once a week. They don't go to temple (right now it's not safe, but when it was they didn't go regularly either - maybe twice a year).

Where do they live where it's not safe to go to shul?

[Anonymous]

We belonged to a Conservative synagogue which was friendly and supportive of interfaith couples, but my wife - who was born Catholic - decided she wanted to convert. She met regularly with our rabbi for a year or so, and then had the formal conversion "ceremony" with the Beit Din and the mikvah. My kids - who attended the preschool at the synagogue - also converted at the same time. I remember being really worried when a rabbi on the panel asked my older son (who I think was 4 at the time), what his favorite holiday was. I really thought he would answer "Christmas", which we always spend with my wife's family, but somehow he came up with Shavout, which they had just celebrated at preschool. The rabbi seemed a little puzzled by his answer, but I breathed a big sigh of relief! Both my kids went through the bar mitzvah process, but we are not particularly observant at this stage of our lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enrolled my older in Hebrew School and have been attending weekly as well. I have been active with attending services, weekly Torah study, events put on by the congregation, and just getting to know other congregants.

Your older...child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had three people in our family convert. Two "converted too far" and wanted to make their spouses be more religious than they wanted to be, and those two ended in divorce.

The one who did not do that went to conversion classes (for a year? 18 months?) weekly, and is not kosher, but does light candles and have challah on Friday nights, and the older kid goes to Hebrew School once a week. They don't go to temple (right now it's not safe, but when it was they didn't go regularly either - maybe twice a year).

Where do they live where it's not safe to go to shul?

A major city in the country where the temple is under construction so all classes and services have been moved to, ironically, a nearby church, which doesn't have the same level of security as the temple's property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I enrolled my older in Hebrew School and have been attending weekly as well. I have been active with attending services, weekly Torah study, events put on by the congregation, and just getting to know other congregants.

Your older...child?

OP here - yes, my older kid as my younger is too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We belonged to a Conservative synagogue which was friendly and supportive of interfaith couples, but my wife - who was born Catholic - decided she wanted to convert. She met regularly with our rabbi for a year or so, and then had the formal conversion "ceremony" with the Beit Din and the mikvah. My kids - who attended the preschool at the synagogue - also converted at the same time. I remember being really worried when a rabbi on the panel asked my older son (who I think was 4 at the time), what his favorite holiday was. I really thought he would answer "Christmas", which we always spend with my wife's family, but somehow he came up with Shavout, which they had just celebrated at preschool. The rabbi seemed a little puzzled by his answer, but I breathed a big sigh of relief! Both my kids went through the bar mitzvah process, but we are not particularly observant at this stage of our lives

OP here - I appreciate your response!

Yeah, I feel like my kid would say something about Christmas since my family always makes a big deal about Christian holidays 😬. They are very insecure when it comes to their religion and beliefs.

We've been talking about Purim the last few weeks and Tu Bishevat seemed to be a hit. Hopefully if we decide to formalize their Jewishness we wouldn't get Santa Claus as an answer 🫣

[Anonymous]

Well, I just knew after my marriage to Trey didn’t work out that I really wanted to marry into a more stable tradition and have some kids! I didn’t ever mean to fall for my schvitzing divorce lawyer, but B-H for Harry!
Mazel tov and welcome to the tribe!!

[Anonymous]

SATC vids and references only please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I just knew after my marriage to Trey didn’t work out that I really wanted to marry into a more stable tradition and have some kids! I didn’t ever mean to fall for my schvitzing divorce lawyer, but B-H for Harry!
Mazel tov and welcome to the tribe!!

Umm.. what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I just knew after my marriage to Trey didn’t work out that I really wanted to marry into a more stable tradition and have some kids! I didn’t ever mean to fall for my schvitzing divorce lawyer, but B-H for Harry!
Mazel tov and welcome to the tribe!!

Umm.. what?

It’s a sex in the city reference - Charlotte

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I just knew after my marriage to Trey didn’t work out that I really wanted to marry into a more stable tradition and have some kids! I didn’t ever mean to fall for my schvitzing divorce lawyer, but B-H for Harry!
Mazel tov and welcome to the tribe!!

Umm.. what?

It’s a sex in the city reference - Charlotte

I always found that particular plot line a little off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had three people in our family convert. Two "converted too far" and wanted to make their spouses be more religious than they wanted to be, and those two ended in divorce.

The one who did not do that went to conversion classes (for a year? 18 months?) weekly, and is not kosher, but does light candles and have challah on Friday nights, and the older kid goes to Hebrew School once a week. They don't go to temple (right now it's not safe, but when it was they didn't go regularly either - maybe twice a year).

Where do they live where it's not safe to go to shul?

A major city in the country where the temple is under construction so all classes and services have been moved to, ironically, a nearby church, which doesn't have the same level of security as the temple's property.

So it's not too unsafe, but you feel unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had three people in our family convert. Two "converted too far" and wanted to make their spouses be more religious than they wanted to be, and those two ended in divorce.

The one who did not do that went to conversion classes (for a year? 18 months?) weekly, and is not kosher, but does light candles and have challah on Friday nights, and the older kid goes to Hebrew School once a week. They don't go to temple (right now it's not safe, but when it was they didn't go regularly either - maybe twice a year).

Where do they live where it's not safe to go to shul?

A major city in the country where the temple is under construction so all classes and services have been moved to, ironically, a nearby church, which doesn't have the same level of security as the temple's property.

A major city probably has multiple synagogues for them to try, if they feel unsafe in the church their synagogue is renting. They could also have a conversation with their synagogue leadership about the security measures in place at the church. Sounds like, since they never went much anyway, the security concerns are just an excuse for them to go even less.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, there are as many different requirements for converting as there are converts to Judaism. Each of us had to do it a little bit differently, depending on the rabbi we converted with, the movement we converted in, and our own interests.

Most conversions in any movement will require:
A period of study with a rabbi
Mikveh
Brit/Hatafat Dam Brit/Circumcision (for males)

I converted in the Reform movement, but have been Conservative basically since stepping out of the mikveh. When I started the conversion process, I had been attending a Reform synagogue with my fiancé for two years already and had been studying independently online and through books. My fiancé and his parents never pressed me to convert, but were happy to answer my questions about Judaism. They were all surprised when I started dragging my fiancé with me to services, because he hadn't been that observant up til then. I approached the Reform rabbi at our synagogue and started learning with her. In terms of requirements while I was in the conversion process, the synagogue had an intro to Judaism course that I had to take, a recommended reading list for converts, and monthly individual meetings with the rabbi. I also had to do volunteer work (part of learning tikkun olam), keep a personal journal, and attend services regularly ("regularly" was not defined, but I'd say at least twice a month was probably the expectation; I went every week). Learning more about Judaism made me more interested in Conservative Judaism, but I completed my conversion within the Reform movement (it met all the Conservative requirements and is accepted in that movement as well). If I ever decide I want to be Orthodox for some reason, I would need to undergo another conversion with an Orthodox rabbi.

Most of the time, the entire process will take at least a year, and that's so they can make sure you've experienced the entire Jewish year. Because I had been attending services for two years and studying on my own, my official process with my rabbi took 10 months.

For my beit din, I wrote a short essay (1 page) about why I wanted to convert and another short essay about my chosen Hebrew name and why I chose it. At the beit din, they asked me why I wanted to convert, asked me if I was prepared to deal with antisemitism, and I think they also asked me what my favorite holiday was. I didn't have to recite the alef-bet or prove I knew any prayers. In fact, they made a point of saying that this was just the beginning of my Jewish learning, not the end of it, and that's 100% true. Judaism is a religion of lifelong learning and growth and you shouldn't be expected to know it all at your beit din.

Your sponsoring rabbi shouldn't let you move forward to the beit din if you're not going to be "approved," so I wouldn't worry about being rejected by the beit din at the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had three people in our family convert. Two "converted too far" and wanted to make their spouses be more religious than they wanted to be, and those two ended in divorce.

The one who did not do that went to conversion classes (for a year? 18 months?) weekly, and is not kosher, but does light candles and have challah on Friday nights, and the older kid goes to Hebrew School once a week. They don't go to temple (right now it's not safe, but when it was they didn't go regularly either - maybe twice a year).

Where do they live where it's not safe to go to shul?

A major city in the country where the temple is under construction so all classes and services have been moved to, ironically, a nearby church, which doesn't have the same level of security as the temple's property.

So it's not too unsafe, but you feel unsafe.

How DARE you. You should be very ashamed of yourself.