Sports or drugs? How would you have responded?

[Anonymous]

I really hate this line of thinking. Not all kids/teens will turn to drugs/alcohol or be couch potatoes if they aren't in sports or kept busy. This just leads to overscheduled kids, Aldo, speaking of sports specifically, not all kids can even play sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not, and he doesn’t either. You criticized the way he spends his weekends and he felt defensive about it so make an offhand remark. He could have said “keep teens busy and they don’t have time to get into trouble!” and you probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. That is what he meant.

Keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything. If they really want to do drugs, they'll find a way. Alot of athletes at my school also did drugs

[Anonymous]

Did your colleague just volunteer all this or did you bring this up?

If the former…I would have no problem telling him that his life sounds pretty stupid and unless he has any reason to believe his kids will get recruited this is all a waste. Of course…most parents aren’t honest with themselves about their kids’ talents all the way to the bitter end.

If you brought it up…you should have some empathy.

[Anonymous]

Keeping kids busy does keep them out of trouble. Even if that trouble isn't drugs. It could just be social drama.

[Anonymous]

It was a joke.

[Anonymous]

It's just something one says and he could have given another reason like at least they're: not addicted to video games, not joining a gang, staying fit, have friends, etc.
He's not actually obsessed with sports as the only viable distraction to drugs. Your reaction of taking that literally is a little odd but we all do that randomly when something is out of our lived experience. Don't think about that conversation again, he's busy with sports and forgot about it and the random reason he blurted while feeling a little defensive. He's not out there battling traffic to get to a game thinking it's their last defense against drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your question comes off as snarky and as a criticism of his choices and decisions.

Agree. And agree he felt defensive. And there is evidence that keeping kids busy in extracurriculars keeps them out of trouble. He may have oversimplified that with his off-hand comment, but he felt attacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was a joke.

Right?! It's not that deep, folks. The answer is to laugh and move on. He does not actually believe the only choices are drugs or travel sports.

[Anonymous]

they have their head buried in the sand.

my brothers high school football team won the state championship stoned and drunk.

my kids travel teams had raging parties in their rooms all night long when on the road at tournaments.

I hope this guy realizes that his kids are not immune from this.

[Anonymous]

Many people on dcum lack any sort of emotional intelligence to navigate the real world

[Anonymous]

Do people not realize the sporty kids are the ones drinking and vaping and doing drugs? It's common knowledge if you have a kid in high school.

But also, it was a joke OP and who cares. Not your circus. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not, and he doesn’t either. You criticized the way he spends his weekends and he felt defensive about it so make an offhand remark. He could have said “keep teens busy and they don’t have time to get into trouble!” and you probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. That is what he meant.

Keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything. If they really want to do drugs, they'll find a way. Alot of athletes at my school also did drugs

Agree that keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything - they will find a way. However, elite sports are meaningful deterrents. My kid, who is curious to a fault, largely stays out of trouble because he is overscheduled. When he's had free time, he sneaks out and likes to roam the city basically looking for trouble. We provide him with a safe and loving home environment, but he's more Holden Caulfield than a Boy Scout. Also, since a pretty young age, coaches have emphasized the importance of health and nutrition on sports performance, and the idea of not being able to play his sport because he fails a drug test is probably the biggest deterrent he has right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not, and he doesn’t either. You criticized the way he spends his weekends and he felt defensive about it so make an offhand remark. He could have said “keep teens busy and they don’t have time to get into trouble!” and you probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. That is what he meant.

Keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything. If they really want to do drugs, they'll find a way. Alot of athletes at my school also did drugs

Agree that keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything - they will find a way. However, elite sports are meaningful deterrents. My kid, who is curious to a fault, largely stays out of trouble because he is overscheduled. When he's had free time, he sneaks out and likes to roam the city basically looking for trouble. We provide him with a safe and loving home environment, but he's more Holden Caulfield than a Boy Scout. Also, since a pretty young age, coaches have emphasized the importance of health and nutrition on sports performance, and the idea of not being able to play his sport because he fails a drug test is probably the biggest deterrent he has right now.

Agree. Not a guarantee. But I am pretty sure that MY teen (a girl, so this could make a difference, too) does not drink, vape, and maybe more primarily because of her sport. She told me she and a couple of the other girls had a conversation with their travel coach about whether she ever drank/got drunk in college. She said she did but not often because of her (and their) sport. She said she did not even drink on her 21st birthday because she had a game the next day. My DD has gotten really into nutrition (and not at all in a worrisome/ED kind of way) recently, also because of her sport. She focus on "fuel" and gaining muscle. I do think for some kids, sports can keep them from doing drugs. Maybe I am naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not, and he doesn’t either. You criticized the way he spends his weekends and he felt defensive about it so make an offhand remark. He could have said “keep teens busy and they don’t have time to get into trouble!” and you probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. That is what he meant.

Keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything. If they really want to do drugs, they'll find a way. Alot of athletes at my school also did drugs

Agree that keeping teens busy doesn't guarantee anything - they will find a way. However, elite sports are meaningful deterrents. My kid, who is curious to a fault, largely stays out of trouble because he is overscheduled. When he's had free time, he sneaks out and likes to roam the city basically looking for trouble. We provide him with a safe and loving home environment, but he's more Holden Caulfield than a Boy Scout. Also, since a pretty young age, coaches have emphasized the importance of health and nutrition on sports performance, and the idea of not being able to play his sport because he fails a drug test is probably the biggest deterrent he has right now.

Agree. Not a guarantee. But I am pretty sure that MY teen (a girl, so this could make a difference, too) does not drink, vape, and maybe more primarily because of her sport. She told me she and a couple of the other girls had a conversation with their travel coach about whether she ever drank/got drunk in college. She said she did but not often because of her (and their) sport. She said she did not even drink on her 21st birthday because she had a game the next day. My DD has gotten really into nutrition (and not at all in a worrisome/ED kind of way) recently, also because of her sport. She focus on "fuel" and gaining muscle. I do think for some kids, sports can keep them from doing drugs. Maybe I am naive.

It kept me away from trouble so I approve your statement

[Anonymous]

I dont see anything wrong with OPs comments. If people overschedule their families with sports or other activities, they shouldnt complain. They are adults and should understand the schedule they are signing up for. Nobody told them they HAD to sign up for x amount of travel teams that each cost $1,000+ per season. I listen to these parents at my kids' games all of the time. What do they want a medal? I feel like it is some sort of humble brag. I was just walking my dog the other day and my neighbor had to run up and tell me that his son is on 4 basketball teams and how hectic it was. What is the correct response? Did his son sign up and pay for these teams? No way.