18+ still living at home, do you vacation with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Once they are off to college I would. But before that, Grandma came to stay. Most people don't really like to be alone for such a long time.

[Anonymous]

OP, tell us *exactly* what you are afraid of

[Anonymous]

He is going to stay over and who cares. If she was living in a dorm, that would be happening all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell I did it when they were 15-16. What's your concern?

Really? I feel like it’s been drilled into me to not do this because of house parties.

Depends upon your kid. We left our kids home (in charge, with trusting adults within 1-2 miles on call to assist) starting when our oldest was 14/15. We trusted them, we know they never had parties/violated the basic house rules. But we trusted them and knew they were not likely to do crazy stuff (ie they did not attend parties in HS, their friends were also equally trustworthy and there were not BF/GF in the picture to worry about).

But I cannot imagine why someone would not leave their 18+ kid home while they go on vacation...they are an adult. And the BF issues---if they are having sex, they are already doing it without you knowing, you not being home doesn't change that.
Go on vacation, relax and enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why isn't she living in the dorms?

Stop assuming every family is like yours.

[Anonymous]

I thought you were asking if 18 year olds were married and living at their parents house…

[Anonymous]

I was living on my own when I was 18/19 (signed a lease for my own apartment). Not sure why you wouldn’t trust a literal adult to be okay at home.

[Anonymous]

My brother had a huge party, but we managed to clean up and remove pretty much all evidence. Neighbors appeared to have noticed the large increase in traffic, and let parents know when they returned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell I did it when they were 15-16. What's your concern?

Really? I feel like it’s been drilled into me to not do this because of house parties.

Depends upon your kid. We left our kids home (in charge, with trusting adults within 1-2 miles on call to assist) starting when our oldest was 14/15. We trusted them, we know they never had parties/violated the basic house rules. But we trusted them and knew they were not likely to do crazy stuff (ie they did not attend parties in HS, their friends were also equally trustworthy and there were not BF/GF in the picture to worry about).

But I cannot imagine why someone would not leave their 18+ kid home while they go on vacation...they are an adult. And the BF issues---if they are having sex, they are already doing it without you knowing, you not being home doesn't change that.
Go on vacation, relax and enjoy!

This is not something to brag about. You don't leave a 14 year old home alone for a few days or week. That's irresponsible. Let alone force them to care for their younger siblings.

[Anonymous]

Leave her

[Anonymous]

Very weird that you are worried about leaving a literal adult alone in the house, unless she has severe mental or physical issues.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you are concerned makes me think you are making a huge mistake by not having her live at the dorm. This is such a stunted mentality. Her boyfriend will spend the night of course; she is an adult despite you not “letting” her be.

[Anonymous]

Yep. College sophomore and college graduating in June. DH and I went to Chicago last summer for 4 days, and are heading to Europe for 2 1/2 weeks this summer. Summer/ post graduation plans are still in flux, but hoping at least one kid is home to housesit and take care of the dog.

I did a 3 week girls trip to Europe with one kid and her favorite aunt, my sister in law (although we are as close as full sisters) after HS gradation in 2022 as her graduation gift. And we have started very preliminary planning to do another long stint after she graduates from college in summer 2026.

But this summer is a 25th anniversary trip. No kids invited (mostly— 1 kid is in in Europe this summer for study abroad, and we looked a meeting her for a few days in one city after her program was complete, but the timing doesn’t work).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you are concerned makes me think you are making a huge mistake by not having her live at the dorm. This is such a stunted mentality. Her boyfriend will spend the night of course; she is an adult despite you not “letting” her be.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell I did it when they were 15-16. What's your concern?

So did we. Not for 10 days at that age. 18? Yes.