Where lifelong friends are made?

[Anonymous]

I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk

You can meet life-long friends anywhere with effort and a tiny bit of luck.

I went to Hopkins and had very little in common with many of my classmates (I was not premed and the opposite of super intense). I met my people and the 6 of us have gone on girls' weekends together for the past 26 years.

My husband found an incredible community at Delaware. We just went to his friend group's 30th annual Christmas party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk

Thinking about this, there might be more of a pattern than I thought. One of my sisters went to a very preppy/jocky college and never quite fit in. The other went to a hippy granola college and wasn't hippy granola. I, on the other hand, am a huge a-hole and snob, so I was right at home at HYP. The Earlham guy is a very self effacing social justice type who fit right in at Quaker college.

So if I'm right, you maximize your chances of making and keeping lifelong friends if you "fit the profile" if the school you're attending? If that makes sense...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk

Thinking about this, there might be more of a pattern than I thought. One of my sisters went to a very preppy/jocky college and never quite fit in. The other went to a hippy granola college and wasn't hippy granola. I, on the other hand, am a huge a-hole and snob, so I was right at home at HYP. The Earlham guy is a very self effacing social justice type who fit right in at Quaker college.

So if I'm right, you maximize your chances of making and keeping lifelong friends if you "fit the profile" if the school you're attending? If that makes sense...

well, duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk

Thinking about this, there might be more of a pattern than I thought. One of my sisters went to a very preppy/jocky college and never quite fit in. The other went to a hippy granola college and wasn't hippy granola. I, on the other hand, am a huge a-hole and snob, so I was right at home at HYP. The Earlham guy is a very self effacing social justice type who fit right in at Quaker college.

So if I'm right, you maximize your chances of making and keeping lifelong friends if you "fit the profile" if the school you're attending? If that makes sense...

well, duh.

Half the posts here are " you find your people wherever you go," so apparently "fit the stereotype" is not obvious to everyone.

[Anonymous]

I would make sure your child doesn't attend what's considered a suitcase or commuter school (one where most kids go home for weekends). At any other school, they will make those lifelong friends.

[Anonymous]

I made lifelong friends til I outgrew them. We aren’t besties any longer. I grew thru didn’t.

[Anonymous]

I think the best thing to do is to find a college or university that fits your child's personality, has most students living in campus, and is not a commuter school or someplace everyone leaves on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Lehigh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are older parents of an only child. We know there are so many places he can get a superb education. Our hope is that he finds one that fosters amazing relationships and serves as a source of friendship and personal growth.

I know this is not the primary reason one seeks higher education. But there is nothing wrong with wanting meaningful social connection, in addition to an academic foundation. We know as parents that we won’t be here forever. We have lived overseas, but will returning home (retirement) for his college years. He’s going to need to find his people.

Please name the school/s that you know create an environment where young people thrive and engage with other. Let’s keep this really positive and highlight places where people come first.

Thank you!!

What do you mean find his people? Aren’t you his parents? What people are you talking about that he needs to find? Did they go to a college that you don’t know where they went?

[Anonymous]

Bucknell frat. Lifelong friends, great parties, easy access to beautiful women, and a guaranteed pipeline to The Street after graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the best thing to do is to find a college or university that fits your child's personality, has most students living in campus, and is not a commuter school or someplace everyone leaves on weekends.

+1 and add to that your kid has to put themselves out there to find their people, knowing it may not happen right away. Joining activities that meet frequently helps. The friends I'm still in touch with from college are from the choral group I sang in all 4 years and my best friend from college was someone in that group that I got to know in junior year. DH, OTOH, lived at home for college (1st Gen) and didn't really engage in campus activities. He has no friends from college.

DS goes to a huge public U that certainly is the "meet lifelong friends" place for a lot of students but he seems to mainly hang out with his lifelong friends from home. Which is fine. He does a few school activities but he already had lifelong friends. One of his roommates has been a friend since 2nd grade.

DD is at a small school that seems to be a good fit so far and, based on alumni attendance at the Fall family/alumni weekend seems to have potential. She's already BFFs with her roommate and they plan to live together next year. And she plays in two music groups that provide that regular interaction that helps build friendships.

[Anonymous]

I think about it too and hope my son makes lifelong college friends. He has an amazing, tight group of elementary/HS friends and I hope they all stay friends for life. But I hope he makes those same friendships at college too. So far so good and time will tell. Like PPs, kids have to be willing to join groups and put effort into it. Sometimes that’s easier said then done , especially if they’re content to stay in their room and be on their phones, laptop, video games etc. FWIW, my lifelong friends are from elementary school, a few HS and community friends. I liked college, had a great time but lost touch with those friends.

OP…no first hand experience, just anecdotal but I’ve heard Jesuit colleges are very community based.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very close with about a half a dozen friends I met at an HYP. My sisters who went to small liberal arts colleges are much closer with their high school friends. I don't know if there's a pattern to be read in that or not, probably not.

I know an older guy who went to Earlham who goes on a days long hike every year with his college buddies. So maybe Earlham? Idk

When I was in college, I had many male friends. I got along with the males more than my female classmates. While we hung out all through college, my male friends and I drifted apart after we got married. I regret not making closer female friends in college and grad school. I worked in a male dominated field and never had a close female colleague at work.

I made my closest friends after I became a mother.

[Anonymous]

OP, your question entirely depends on the kid. No one can answer this for you. My lifelong friends are from the entire span of my life, and its endeavors, so no size fits all.