Son told me I am putting too much pressure on him, best way to change this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ask if they need help. Do you need a tutor, do you need me to help, do you need extra coaching?

We only intervene if they are getting C’s or lower.

We never discuss a game until 30 minutes after and we only listen. My h might have a few suggestions I just say I live to watch u play.

He’s nine. He doesn’t need a private coach. It sounds more like he’d like to drop something because he has too much pressure. Did you ask him about that? The most obvious question.

[Anonymous]

Let him drop some activities. You have him in too much stuff. Kids need down time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would really consider how overbearing I must be to get a 9 year old to articulate this to me. Your son sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, listen to him!

+1

[Anonymous]

Thank him for telling you and then ask him what activities he wants to drop. How are you pressuring him for sports or involvement? Just let him pick an activity and take him to it. No comment other than “did you have fun?”

[Anonymous]

Are you? How many activities is he in? What kind of pressure are you exerting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank him for being honest, and expressing his feelings. Tell him you're impressed with his ability to articulate himself, because at age 9 that IS very impressive. Ask him for two things he'd like you to do going forward, and two things he'd like you to stop doing going forward.

Write the four things down, review each morning, and go from there.

Fun fact: I don't watch my kids at sports practice. I drop off and pick up. I go to anything they invite me to. At the end I say "I had so much fun watching you - did you have fun?" and don't talk about mistakes they made or what they could work on to improve.

excellent answer!!!

[Anonymous]

A couple books I think might be helpful to read - The Self Driven Child and Raising a Kid Who Can. I found them both really helpful to better find a balance and help me step back a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple books I think might be helpful to read - The Self Driven Child and Raising a Kid Who Can. I found them both really helpful to better find a balance and help me step back a lot more.

Probably start with Raising a kid who can. It is easy to read and you can get some quick high level guidance from it without having to delve deep. It talks about things like the drive home from practice like the pp said, what to say. Concrete things.

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Kid-Who-Can-Adaptability/dp/1523518596

[Anonymous]

What activities is he in?