Goalies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone on have a child who is a goalie? My ds has only ever played goalie for various sports. This is now high school and it is SO much pressure. When he doesn't do well it is very hard to watch.

Spouse and oldest were/re goalies. Spouse tells child "it's not all on you. The ball (soccer for us) got through 10 other players before it got through you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone on have a child who is a goalie? My ds has only ever played goalie for various sports. This is now high school and it is SO much pressure. When he doesn't do well it is very hard to watch.

Spouse and oldest were/re goalies. Spouse tells child "it's not all on you. The ball (soccer for us) got through 10 other players before it got through you."

I was a goalie and so was my kid. That's what you tell your kid, but you don't believe it, and neither do they. Part of being a goalie is taking responsibility for the goal. Even if everyone else screws, up you can still prevent the goal. That's the mindset that a goalie has to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone on have a child who is a goalie? My ds has only ever played goalie for various sports. This is now high school and it is SO much pressure. When he doesn't do well it is very hard to watch.

Spouse and oldest were/re goalies. Spouse tells child "it's not all on you. The ball (soccer for us) got through 10 other players before it got through you."

I am the contrarian here. Yes, it is very hard to be the goalie. But imagine the defender being blamed for every shot the goalie misses and the goalie only ever being cheered on. This is not the right attitude to send to your goalie or your team. My DD had a field hockey goalie who's family could be heard on the sidelines constantly blaming everybody else. Imagine how boring sports would be if defenders and midfielders were just so perfect that they never go a shot off. Goalies do make mistakes. Please stop telling them to blame their teammates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone on have a child who is a goalie? My ds has only ever played goalie for various sports. This is now high school and it is SO much pressure. When he doesn't do well it is very hard to watch.

Spouse and oldest were/re goalies. Spouse tells child "it's not all on you. The ball (soccer for us) got through 10 other players before it got through you."

I am the contrarian here. Yes, it is very hard to be the goalie. But imagine the defender being blamed for every shot the goalie misses and the goalie only ever being cheered on. This is not the right attitude to send to your goalie or your team. My DD had a field hockey goalie who's family could be heard on the sidelines constantly blaming everybody else. Imagine how boring sports would be if defenders and midfielders were just so perfect that they never go a shot off. Goalies do make mistakes. Please stop telling them to blame their teammates.

The goalies are never cheered on, except maybe in a 1 v 1 scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is a goalie and next year will be a goalie for a D1 team. It is definitely hard to watch and I purposely stay away from other parents during games. But, for my kid, the ability to be a difference maker in every game, to be the last one on defense and the first one on offense, to be a leader on the field, and, most importantly to be ON the field, is worth the stress tradeoff. That said, the stress was particularly difficult during the recruiting window. We worked with DC to provide outlets for the stress, but I always marvel at his resilience and maturity. It takes a special person to be a goalie!

Ha! This is me too. So glad to hear I’m not the only one. Even socializing with the other goalie parents on the team feels hard because in many ways they’re the direct competition. Three different goalies always competing for minutes and a spot on the A-team vs B-team.

[Anonymous]

Man my daughter wants to be a goalie and this really makes me want to steer her away. She’s U10 and just got into it. But she’s not good enough to make the travel team as a goalie only as a player so I think we may dodge this bullet.

[Anonymous]

DD is a goalie in multiple sports and I think we are very fortunate that she adopted the right attitude early on (playing on some bad teams probably helped).

There are still some tough times (tears after games where she feels she let the team down) but they are few and far between. She has generally been blessed with good teammates and coaches who recognize and celebrate her good play and don't (appear to) harp on her bad games.

The adage about GKs having to have a short memory is 100% true. All you can do is try to make the next save.

As a parent, I love the accountability and responsibility she has learned. I still feel pressure FOR her, but try not to put it ON her, but am realistic in evaluating and discussing her play.

[Anonymous]

My kid isn’t a goalie but a pitcher, and it is a similar role in that a pitcher (or goalie) can single handedly win or lose a game. And all eyes are on them and their mistakes. From what you all are saying goalies don’t get credit for a job well done, which sucks - pitchers do so maybe that makes it easier to bear.

When my son pitches I sit away from other parents and I meditate. I’m there, supporting my kid, but I am literally focused on my breath. It helps a little.

[Anonymous]

DD loves being goalie. Thankfully she is able to put all behind her within an hour after a game.

[Anonymous]

7:33 here, spouse and son soccer goalies. Yes, intense for me, but our son LOVES it. He is not stressed out at all (except when one gets past him - but its still not stress, he's more angry at himself for letting one get through), doesn't feel the pressure, and, I don't know how else to describe this, but he sees the field differently than I do. He knows where the ball is going to be before it gets there, understands the play way better than I ever will, and more often than not, is in the right place (staying in the goal, coming out, leaping one way or the other).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, as a parent, I want to thank parents of goalies for taking one for the team. I told my kids they couldn’t be goalies in their respective sports because I would find it too stressful. My kids understand that ANYONE who is willing to fill in for goalie or play goalie should be celebrated for their bravery alone since it is so difficult and high pressure.

And similar to the points above, we tell our kids that in an ideal world the goalie is a scarecrow that just helps direct the field from their vantage point. The entire field of players in front of the goalie are equally if not more responsible for ensuring goals don’t go in.

So maybe as a parent just let me say that some of us really do see the struggle and we appreciate you and your kids. A lot.

This is really nice, thank you for saying it! I hate being the goalie’s mom but he likes it so I usually just hide.