Goalies

[Anonymous]

Anyone on have a child who is a goalie? My ds has only ever played goalie for various sports. This is now high school and it is SO much pressure. When he doesn't do well it is very hard to watch.

[Anonymous]

I was a field hockey goalie in HS. Your child was my empathy. It is tough. Everyone sees and remembers when you make a mistake. You have to remember multiple other players on your team had to miss the ball (or puck, etc), make a mistake, or underperform in order for the ball to get to you. The other team scoring is Never just about the goalie’s performance.
If the coach is good, s/he is making sure your kid and every member of the team hears this and understands it every single day. I hope that is happening for your child. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Same- DD plays club and HS- it is tough. Only empathy to offer.

[Anonymous]

Yes to this. My kid is a GK and, if I could go back 6 years, would have worked harder to influence another path. It sucks.

So much hard work. And you're easily blamed but never celebrated when you perform well. (Yes, goals may go in despite a great goalie if they are under a firing squad of shots that the field players let through).

The recruiting process is also MUCH harder for goalies. Schools usually only take one, not every year, and lots of foreign goalies get spots over US goalies in our sport.

[Anonymous]

First, as a parent, I want to thank parents of goalies for taking one for the team. I told my kids they couldn’t be goalies in their respective sports because I would find it too stressful. My kids understand that ANYONE who is willing to fill in for goalie or play goalie should be celebrated for their bravery alone since it is so difficult and high pressure.

And similar to the points above, we tell our kids that in an ideal world the goalie is a scarecrow that just helps direct the field from their vantage point. The entire field of players in front of the goalie are equally if not more responsible for ensuring goals don’t go in.

So maybe as a parent just let me say that some of us really do see the struggle and we appreciate you and your kids. A lot.

[Anonymous]

My DC is a goalie and next year will be a goalie for a D1 team. It is definitely hard to watch and I purposely stay away from other parents during games. But, for my kid, the ability to be a difference maker in every game, to be the last one on defense and the first one on offense, to be a leader on the field, and, most importantly to be ON the field, is worth the stress tradeoff. That said, the stress was particularly difficult during the recruiting window. We worked with DC to provide outlets for the stress, but I always marvel at his resilience and maturity. It takes a special person to be a goalie!

[Anonymous]

Goalies are the last man on the field. If the puck, ball, whatever gets to the goalie, several other kids messed up. I don't get putting all the pressure on the goalie. Both my kids play travel and we treat the GKs very differently. They are all one team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Goalies are the last man on the field. If the puck, ball, whatever gets to the goalie, several other kids messed up. I don't get putting all the pressure on the goalie. Both my kids play travel and we treat the GKs very differently. They are all one team.

Also want to say GKs are a special breed and I love them! Not every kid can dive toward something that can injure them.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a GK and it is so stressful for me. She loves the position but is struggling with 13/14 YO girls not wanting to be told what to do by the GK. It is a lonely position.

[Anonymous]

Different sport, but OP you might appreciate the description of a pacing parent living and dying on each play in this darkly hilarious blog post:

https://fastpitchlane.softballsuccess.com/2023/06/05/what-to-expect-when-you-become-a-pitchers-parent/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, as a parent, I want to thank parents of goalies for taking one for the team. I told my kids they couldn’t be goalies in their respective sports because I would find it too stressful. My kids understand that ANYONE who is willing to fill in for goalie or play goalie should be celebrated for their bravery alone since it is so difficult and high pressure.

And similar to the points above, we tell our kids that in an ideal world the goalie is a scarecrow that just helps direct the field from their vantage point. The entire field of players in front of the goalie are equally if not more responsible for ensuring goals don’t go in.

So maybe as a parent just let me say that some of us really do see the struggle and we appreciate you and your kids. A lot.

+1

[Anonymous]

I always make it a point to cheer on GKs for good saves, even when it's my kid's shot they block!

They are a special breed.

[Anonymous]

My kid plays goalie sometimes for their travel sport team and I HATE watching. It makes me so stressed! DC is well suited for it in some ways in that they are tall and also cool under pressure. DC just got moved up to the highest team, and based on previous experiences with this coach I worry that the coach will be putting DC in goal a lot more than the previous team did. I think it helps kids develop amazing leadership skills, but it’s just so hard as a parent! I do agree with PPs that the more you watch the games, the more you realize that it hardly ever comes down to just the goalie’s fault. It’s a breakdown of the defense that happened beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different sport, but OP you might appreciate the description of a pacing parent living and dying on each play in this darkly hilarious blog post:

https://fastpitchlane.softballsuccess.com/2023/06/05/what-to-expect-when-you-become-a-pitchers-parent/

I have a pitcher daughter. It can be rough, but goalie is so much worse. Pitcher is the first defense, goalie is the last. I have never, ever felt that any of my daughter's teammates or teammates' parents blamed her for a loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes to this. My kid is a GK and, if I could go back 6 years, would have worked harder to influence another path. It sucks.

So much hard work. And you're easily blamed but never celebrated when you perform well. (Yes, goals may go in despite a great goalie if they are under a firing squad of shots that the field players let through).

The recruiting process is also MUCH harder for goalies. Schools usually only take one, not every year, and lots of foreign goalies get spots over US goalies in our sport.

Wish I could go back too. My DC was used by the coach to win. The coach didn’t care about DC’s development or interest in other positions, used DC to win and promote self. It was a slow process, but it became evident. Wish DC had never played the position.

Coaches really make all the difference, especially for such a position. So many coaches are self serving, but I doubt they even realize it.