Sexual abuse talk

[Anonymous]

we started talking about around age 4, there were several kids books that talked about good touch, bad touch kind of thing. We didn't make it a big thing but just keep the conversation open, this includes things about sex, sexism and even now abortion. She is in 5th grade now and we have a good foundation for being open to discussing anything. Hopefully that will last!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for the feedback.

I have had past talks with our kids over the years about personal safety, but have never described real examples or specific details. But it was very sporadic - maybe once every year or two. J have talked to them more generally, like safe and unsafe people, not keeping secrets, about what to do if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or weird, and about how their private parts should not be shown or touched by other adults.

And I have already talked to the about where babies come from, and about sex.

As for yesterday's convo - yes, I was specific that I was only talking about things happening between and adult and child. I did talk about adults showing inappropriate pictures or videos, and about the different ways adults might coerce a child to touch them, or be touched, etc. And how it was ok if it was between two consenting adults, but not between an adult or child.

Interestingly, in all their innocence, especially the younger one, they couldn't understand why it was ok in some contexts, but not ok when it was between an adult and child. And I don't think I gave a sufficient explanation of the why - just that it was never ok between and adult and child.

The reason is because children cannot give meaningful consent to adults in this situation. The adult controls the setting, setup, timing, approach, and fully understands the potential implications of the activity for the child. The child has none of those elements of control and none of the information the adult has about the likely impact. It is an informationally asymmetric situation by its nature, which means that consent is an impossibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fine.

I think a lot of parents have this type of talk when their kids are like 4.

Maybe. But like it or not, most parents don’t have this conversation with their kids at all. OP did fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fine.

I think a lot of parents have this type of talk when their kids are like 4.

+1