My wife had an affair, but I’m staying with her.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple where the wife had a 5 yr passionate affair with a coworker. When her H found out he fought hard to keep her and save the marriage, they had elementary age kids.

He did not have a revenge affair because he was the one wanting to save the marriage the most, she might have actually walked if he had done that.

The outcome is they have been married for many years after the affair. They appear to be very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple where the wife had a 5 yr passionate affair with a coworker. When her H found out he fought hard to keep her and save the marriage, they had elementary age kids.

He did not have a revenge affair because he was the one wanting to save the marriage the most, she might have actually walked if he had done that.

The outcome is they have been married for many years after the affair. They appear to be very happy.

Is this you? Are you one of the people in this couple? I’m flabbergasted by the types of details people seem to know about other people’s marriages. Especially this story, which this poster posts often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM wants everyone to divorce at the slightest hint of trouble, and is particularly exercised over adultery. Apparently an adulterer is worse than a serial killer on here.

I think a lot of affairs are survivable. It will take many years to work through, of course. Time is a great healer. Right now, take care of yourself, your kids, and put one step in front of the other. Say as little as possible to friends and relatives, because one day you might regret the details you told them. This might be a good time to consult a therapist, by yourself, to process your feelings. In my experience, couples therapy doesn't work. Individual therapy can work, however.

I'm very sorry, OP. Best of luck.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a long term marriage where things got routine combined with family stress. My wife had an affair with someone out of town.

I’ve decided to forgive her and stay together. But I’m going to have a few flings in order to allow me to move forward and reduce the pain.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Reminds me of the old tried & true saying: Two wrongs do make a right.

[Anonymous]

Have as many flings as you want, but don't tell her. You'll lose your moral advantage and will make her feel like she shouldn't constrain herself any longer. Have it for you, don't tell her.

[Anonymous]

A “wife” posted the same thread recently. Ignore trolls.

[Anonymous]

Middle aged man here. There are two separate questions:

1) should I stay with my wife after her affair? Sure, whatever works for you. I would probably forgive my wife's infidelity, sex outside marriage isn't a deal breaker for me. It's ok either way on this, it's a personal choice.

2) Will cheating on her make you feel better? Maybe. It may help you see that we are all human, sex is fun, sex with someone new is fun. But the # of women out there willing to sleep with you for "free" meaning no commitment of time and resources is low. You may get more embroiled than you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With who? Middle aged married dads are not in high demand.

Who do you think his middle-aged married wife slept with? lol There is a website all those losers frequent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With who? Middle aged married dads are not in high demand.

You wouldn’t think so, but there are plenty of women who don’t mind sleeping with someone else’s husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With who? Middle aged married dads are not in high demand.

Who do you think his middle-aged married wife slept with? lol There is a website all those losers frequent.

Men of all ages will sleep with just about any woman. Women have a higher bar.

I can't imagine any of my friends fantasizing over bedding a middle-aged married father with a dad bod.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have as many flings as you want, but don't tell her. You'll lose your moral advantage and will make her feel like she shouldn't constrain herself any longer. Have it for you, don't tell her.

+1. I’ll even suggest indefinite flings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With who? Middle aged married dads are not in high demand.

Who do you think his middle-aged married wife slept with? lol There is a website all those losers frequent.

Men of all ages will sleep with just about any woman. Women have a higher bar.

I can't imagine any of my friends fantasizing over bedding a middle-aged married father with a dad bod.

What if he doesn’t have a dad bod?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a long term marriage where things got routine combined with family stress. My wife had an affair with someone out of town.

I’ve decided to forgive her and stay together. But I’m going to have a few flings in order to allow me to move forward and reduce the pain.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

You’re an idiot for staying. Really pu$$boy? Every time you kiss her, I hope you think about her lips on some other dudes junk. Ball$ in her face.

[Anonymous]

When you go out for revenge be sure to dig two holes.

Go to counseling by yourself, process it, then if she suggests marriage counseling go, if you want to really reconcile do the work and don’t hold back. This could be your chance to rebuild the marriage you always wanted.

Get to the root of the problem and if you can swallow the humiliation and she shows enough contrition you have a chance of making it.

[Anonymous]

Trust me, roll. There are lots of other people out there. I went and stayed, and I regret it now that I have kids.

Whatever you do, don't go to therapy. They will make you believe that you deserved getting cheated on. You getting emaculating is what is needed to fix your relationship. They will also make you feel terrible for hating the other guy because it will hurt her feelings. I swear, it's just an exercise to make you feel guilty.

Just find a lawyer and hit the gym.