Attracted to a coworker while married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothin happened for the 8 years we worked together.

Then I took a new job in the same general area. I bumped into her 3 years later at Harris Teeter grabbing groceries at lunch. We traded cell numbers (never had them before) in the name of networking.

She called me three weeks later (in the middle of a weekday) and said she was nearby and wondered if I wanted to get coffee. We had sex in her car and never spoke or texted again.

That was 5 years ago.

Was it a good experience or do you regret it?

I loved it but we are both married with kids and had no intention of leaving our spouses. It was like scratching an itch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told DH about it. We went out as couples a few times. We all got drunk and hooked up once. DH and I are not cool enough to continue in that kind of lifestyle, so we are just friends. If we go out together, we don’t go back to their house or invite them to ours . The man and I are still work friends.

How did your husband respond when you first told him? Had he already been down that road in some way with you? We all know couples where one or the other would lose it if something like that came up.

My husband has some narcissistic traits. He’s not a jerk, but has a pretty high opinion of himself overall. Maybe you could call it high self-esteem?
He’s also a pretty sexual person and likes it whenever I talk about sex or being turned on. He also likes seeing other men hit on me.
I knew it wouldn’t bother him when I told him about my crush.

[Anonymous]

If my coworker and I were available, I am 99.9999% sure we would be together and it would be smokin hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothin happened for the 8 years we worked together.

Then I took a new job in the same general area. I bumped into her 3 years later at Harris Teeter grabbing groceries at lunch. We traded cell numbers (never had them before) in the name of networking.

She called me three weeks later (in the middle of a weekday) and said she was nearby and wondered if I wanted to get coffee. We had sex in her car and never spoke or texted again.


Did your spouse find out?

That was 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told DH about it. We went out as couples a few times. We all got drunk and hooked up once. DH and I are not cool enough to continue in that kind of lifestyle, so we are just friends. If we go out together, we don’t go back to their house or invite them to ours . The man and I are still work friends.

Hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my coworker and I were available, I am 99.9999% sure we would be together and it would be smokin hot.

Both married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my coworker and I were available, I am 99.9999% sure we would be together and it would be smokin hot.

Both married?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothin happened for the 8 years we worked together.

Then I took a new job in the same general area. I bumped into her 3 years later at Harris Teeter grabbing groceries at lunch. We traded cell numbers (never had them before) in the name of networking.

She called me three weeks later (in the middle of a weekday) and said she was nearby and wondered if I wanted to get coffee. We had sex in her car and never spoke or texted again.


Did your spouse find out?

That was 5 years ago.

No, she never found out. And to be totally honest I'm not sure she'd even recognize the name. It's not like I came home every night for 8 years and was like "Hi Honey, OMG, you should have seen what Cara wore today, I could barely focus on anything"

[Anonymous]

Nothing good will come of it. It's your fault if you allow for the attraction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing good will come of it. It's your fault if you allow for the attraction

I agree it’s the first statement. Second one is not something most people choose. The heart wants what it wants. The actions piece is another thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothin happened for the 8 years we worked together.

Then I took a new job in the same general area. I bumped into her 3 years later at Harris Teeter grabbing groceries at lunch. We traded cell numbers (never had them before) in the name of networking.

She called me three weeks later (in the middle of a weekday) and said she was nearby and wondered if I wanted to get coffee. We had sex in her car and never spoke or texted again.

That was 5 years ago.

This is the best outcome. Amazing that this happened to you.

[Anonymous]

I had a small developing crush that would only ever be a crush. But after I looked him up on Facebook and saw his wife and kids, I felt stupid and horrible for even having a crush. So I’m cordial with him but don’t entertain those thoughts at all and keep a little distance.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's happened several times. I figured out the pattern: they pay me a lot of attention, remember tiny details from my stories, and compliment me. They brighten up my day but that's where it ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's happened several times. I figured out the pattern: they pay me a lot of attention, remember tiny details from my stories, and compliment me. They brighten up my day but that's where it ends.

I think when you realize what it is, it undoes a lot of the magic (in a good way). I'm a man so for me it's a younger woman who thinks I'm funny, but I'm well aware of that; it's nothing special it's just scratching a particular part of my brain in the right way.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

I am trying to change departments.