Parent staying versus drop off play date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to wonder about a parent who would drop their 5-6 year old off at someone's home without knowing them or the home. I'd also have to wonder about a parent who would insist they take a child without them knowing the other parent.

Did you even bother to read??? No one said anything about dropping off the kid at a stranger’s house. The classmate has been over to OP’s house twice. If that parent can’t leave her kid there after two visits, something is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use your words OP. “Can Larlo come over after school next Friday. You can pick him up from our house around 6”

No. we don't do drop offs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long are these playdates and how far from the playmate's home? Most parents seem fine with having a parent stay at that age. Are you working in a home office and just letting the kids supervise themselves?

K is really young to do drop off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to wonder about a parent who would drop their 5-6 year old off at someone's home without knowing them or the home. I'd also have to wonder about a parent who would insist they take a child without them knowing the other parent.

Did you even bother to read??? No one said anything about dropping off the kid at a stranger’s house. The classmate has been over to OP’s house twice. If that parent can’t leave her kid there after two visits, something is wrong.

Maybe the mom isn't comfortable with OP or something else happened in their family to make them more cautious. I wouldn't drop off my young child after meeting someone twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long are these playdates and how far from the playmate's home? Most parents seem fine with having a parent stay at that age. Are you working in a home office and just letting the kids supervise themselves?

Many parents don't supervise the kids which is why others don't just drop off their kids.

[Anonymous]

My kindergartener will not let me drop him off. I would love to. I do tell people this when he's invited though. I usually decline saying he is working up to drop offs and they usually understand.

[Anonymous]

I cancelled a few playdates because the parent expected to tag along.
I think that was around 3rd or 4th grade. By then, I was comfortable with just saying no.
After a day of work, then picking up my kids, I expect to chill out at home while the kids also decompress from their school day. I do not expect to have to host and entertain another adult.

[Anonymous]

Some DCs have anxiety about being dropped off. It’s for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cancelled a few playdates because the parent expected to tag along.
I think that was around 3rd or 4th grade. By then, I was comfortable with just saying no.
After a day of work, then picking up my kids, I expect to chill out at home while the kids also decompress from their school day. I do not expect to have to host and entertain another adult.

I’m surprised you can do after-school play dates. Most kids have afternoon sports or activities. Weekends are prime play date time for my kids, but I dial those way back during sports seasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kindergartener will not let me drop him off. I would love to. I do tell people this when he's invited though. I usually decline saying he is working up to drop offs and they usually understand.

+ 1. First grader will only do drop off with friends she knows really well. My older kid never had this issue, but he is not shy and she is. She’s working on it. I would be thrilled to drop her off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use your words OP. “Can Larlo come over after school next Friday. You can pick him up from our house around 6”

No. we don't do drop offs

NP: and this genuinely would be totally fine with me. I’d rather not do a playdate in that case (if I have to entertain the parent too). This is assuming I have met the parent on several occasions, which was always the case. Generally only asked kids of families we know for playdates at that age. If a new friend, I’d make time for a park meetup or similar the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not drop off my K child unless I knew the parents very well. FWIW I have three kids and I have never done this. If someone said drop off only I would politely decline and question their motives.

At kindergarten age, we never dropped off our kids ( they were too young for that). Even at 1st grade, my daughter went to birthday and my spouse had to stay with her the entire time during birthday party because she is shy and was intimidated by so many other girls. The host mom was totally Ok with my spouse staying even though it was a drop off. I felt bad for host mom, but I know my child that she is hard to warm up.

[Anonymous]

I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a Mother say, "you're welcome to stay." She brought me a cup of tea. I sat down on the couch. Then she walked out of the room and never came back.

She meant I could stay but she wasn't going to stay. The Nanny watched the children. I thought she was inviting ME to stay for conversation.

She's just placating the "I'd never drop off at a stranger's house." Fine, you can stay, but nobody wants to entertain you.

[Anonymous]

I didn't need her to entertain me. And I was fine with dropping off. She just lacked some very basic communication skills.