Childcare for older kids during labor/delivery?

[Anonymous]

Your baby could come really hot and fast. I would pack the kids off to the hospital and have whoever is watching them meet you there. You don't want to be crowning as your childcare shows up.

Consider a doula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you want your husband to be there and don't want to deliver en route, but given your history, I'd also get comfortable with the idea that things might not go the way you hope.

Your biggest challenge is that you need someone who can be there the minute you know you're in labor. Given that, I'd suggest that your plan A is to pack everyone in the car at the first sign of labor and head to the hospital. That's the fastest way to get you to L&D. Whoever the on-call child care is meets your husband there and takes the kids home, he stays with you until baby arrives and then heads home shortly after.

You can buy some of the supplies at a midwifery store online. Those very fast deliveries tend to happen without complication, so there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends has zero family support. We has a sign up sheet to cover hours for when she may need us to take the older DC! I have a flexible schedule and kids in school so I signed up for 24 hr blocks. Another friend could commit to being on call some nights. And other friends could commit to different hours. My friend was the one on call when she went into labor. There were complications so the kids ended up following the rotation for 2 days (I think it was a total of 3 people who took care of them). The older DC is the only one who remembers it and would talk about how much fun he had. We were a well oiled machine.

That is amazing!

[Anonymous]

It's OK to hire a sibling doula even if it's just a backup to neighbors or friends. This forum can get weirdly toxic about sibling doulas, but the bottom line is that those agencies are obligated by the contract you sign to send you someone at any hour of any day, while you friends and neighbors can have illness, car trouble, delayed flights, asleep and not hear the phone ring, etc etc. It's always best to have multiple options, and this is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Ask neighbor or nearby friend to be your immediate responder. But then have your long term care on call. So the neighbor picks the kids up and keeps them until the long term friend shows up. Communicate with both parties and introduce them to each other so they are able to connect while you are in the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's OK to hire a sibling doula even if it's just a backup to neighbors or friends. This forum can get weirdly toxic about sibling doulas, but the bottom line is that those agencies are obligated by the contract you sign to send you someone at any hour of any day, while you friends and neighbors can have illness, car trouble, delayed flights, asleep and not hear the phone ring, etc etc. It's always best to have multiple options, and this is one of them.

I agree it really is a burden to ask somebody to be available 24/7 for 6 weeks. Or OP can get a doula for herself and DH stays with the kids.

[Anonymous]

I was worrying about this exact scenario last year. I ended up having a list of people I could call at a moment's notice -- neighbors at the top then local babysitters. My SIL lives hours away so when I went into labor in the middle of the night our neighbor came over until my SIL (who my toddler was more familiar with) got to our house.

I went into labor around 9pm, neighbor came right over, SIL got in around 11pm. Funny enough, I had the baby by 2am so my husband was able to come home by the time my toddler woke to do daycare drop off

[Anonymous]

OP neighbors can help with this. I don’t mind being “on call” for early babies. But you have to tell them in advance because without land lines, people need to be expecting the call to have their ringers on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors. They’re helpful as your kids get older too. It’s very worth it to have a good relationship with people who live near by.

I would happily donate 12-24 hours of my time for someone to deliver a baby OP. Even for a neighbor I don’t know super well.

Do your kids go to daycare or preschool? Could you ask a teacher to be on call? Or to come relieve the neighbor who comes immediately?

I’d definitely talk to your doctor about scheduling delivery bc of your precipitous births. No one wants to deliver in the car!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends has zero family support. We has a sign up sheet to cover hours for when she may need us to take the older DC! I have a flexible schedule and kids in school so I signed up for 24 hr blocks. Another friend could commit to being on call some nights. And other friends could commit to different hours. My friend was the one on call when she went into labor. There were complications so the kids ended up following the rotation for 2 days (I think it was a total of 3 people who took care of them). The older DC is the only one who remembers it and would talk about how much fun he had. We were a well oiled machine.

That is amazing!

It really was! Both she and her husband had extremely difficult childhoods and they said this was the first time they ever felt like they had a family outside of each other (and their kids)

[Anonymous]

What might happen is the kids will get in the car with you, husband drives you to hospital. Kids stay with dad either in hospital or they all drive back home. Obviously no one wants to have baby without husband but by the 3rd or 4th time, if necessary, it will be what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can pay someone to stay. Neighbors might also be a good resource. Or do your kids have friends you could send them to for a few days? Can your parents come after their event and until your friend arrives? Worst case scenario, bring your kids with you to the hospital, but I would try to avoid that.

Just stop with putting your neighbors and friends on the spot by asking for free babysitting. You know that you're pregnant and you can PAY someone to be available at 3 am,!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors. They’re helpful as your kids get older too. It’s very worth it to have a good relationship with people who live near by.

Right because SAHM just love being used by WOHM!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors. They’re helpful as your kids get older too. It’s very worth it to have a good relationship with people who live near by.

Right because SAHM just love being used by WOHM!!

This doesn’t need to be a SAHM. I work out of the home and was emergency standby for my friend/neighbor when she was pregnant with her second.

These are the times when neighbors who are friends can be incredibly useful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neighbors. They’re helpful as your kids get older too. It’s very worth it to have a good relationship with people who live near by.

Right because SAHM just love being used by WOHM!!

This doesn’t need to be a SAHM. I work out of the home and was emergency standby for my friend/neighbor when she was pregnant with her second.

These are the times when neighbors who are friends can be incredibly useful!

Right but emergency standby, not plan A. Imo it's kind of wild if someone's PLAN A is to ask a neighbor to drop their life at literally any moment and do free service. Emergency and last resort is understandable, everyone should step up best they can, it would be crappy to deny someone in an emergency. But if you have months to plan, it's imo kinda rude not to explore options where you don't burden someone this much.