ED Meds

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stumbled upon the fact my bf takes ED meds after starting a depression med. he never mentioned it i happened to find a wrapper he left out. We are late 40s and I want to be supportive. my mind goes to cheating because otherwise wouldn’t he have shared with me he’s on them? Trying to be supportive and wondering what other couples experiences have been with sharing something like this with your partner?


He hid them because he was embarrassed he uses them.


Agree. No man “wants” to be on them.

In their late 40s, men “want” to picture themselves as their 20 year-old self, toned, athletic, sharp and an all-around stud. But at some point, things don’t work quite as well “down there” as they did in the 20s.

OP - question for you: How on earth did you make the leap to “cheating” from this?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My husband has struggled and I’m hoping he’ll get some help. He’s 68 and until recently he had no problem getting an erection and maintaining it.


Many men are too embarrassed about it. They see it as a sign of defeat. Or weakness. So they don’t ask.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:40 year old male here. I am not cheating but take meds almost daily for ED and have not disclosed this to my current GF.


Loser
Anonymous
A side effect of some (many?) meds for depression is diminished sex drive. So taking a ED med along side of this is a good response.

For example, I'm on the highest dose possible for the SSRI I take and my sex drive was zero for a while and then improved to about once a month. If I didn't take the SSRI, I'd be full-time miserable, depressed, emotionally unresponsive, and not interested in sex. If I take the SSRI, I am happy, participate in human interactions, and rarely think of sex.

My preference is to be alive and happy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:40 year old male here. I am not cheating but take meds almost daily for ED and have not disclosed this to my current GF.


Loser


Thank you for Exhibit A on why men don't disclose.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A side effect of some (many?) meds for depression is diminished sex drive. So taking a ED med along side of this is a good response.

For example, I'm on the highest dose possible for the SSRI I take and my sex drive was zero for a while and then improved to about once a month. If I didn't take the SSRI, I'd be full-time miserable, depressed, emotionally unresponsive, and not interested in sex. If I take the SSRI, I am happy, participate in human interactions, and rarely think of sex.

My preference is to be alive and happy.


Thanks for bringing this up. SSRIs usually destroy libido.

And it’s not just libido alone.

In my 20s and 30s, I dated three women on SSRIs; all 3 informed me since they started on SSRIs, they required, um, “electronic stimulation” (can we say that?) to get to the big O, whereas it was never necessary before SSRIs. I do not believe in coincidence.
Anonymous
He probably hid them for the same exact reason why you made your post, OP. It’s like you’re shaming him for no reason. He’s in his late 40’s, so it’s not exactly shocking that he’d be on it. If he was doing it and went soft, you’d probably freak out in that scenario too and think he’s cheating. He can’t win.
Anonymous
Women just love to shame men about this.

They do it all the time, and don’t even see anything wrong with it.
Anonymous
I teach yoga for sexual functioning and all my clients that have ED problems are very embarrassed, they don't even want their wives to know. One claimed his wife didn't know he had ED... LOL. You can also try moringa tea, it's a scientifically proven natural remedy.
Anonymous
I wouldn’t necessarily think he is cheating on you.

Most men have very fragile, masculine egos & would rather not disclose their condition to women.

Plus antidepressants can cause side effects and ED may be a major one.

I would just pretend that I never saw that wrapper.

Perhaps later on, he may confide in you but for now I would just not say anything to him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Also wish my hubby would consider looking into this but his ego is getting in the way.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:40 year old male here. I am not cheating but take meds almost daily for ED and have not disclosed this to my current GF.


Mid 40s male here. Will you at some point share? I too take meds daily and have been dating someone and haven’t disclosed. I’ve considered it because I do think it is important to talk about, but there also hasn’t been what feels like the right time to mention it so I have not. Now I kind of wonder if women just assume men in their 40s are probably taking something.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Stumbled upon the fact my bf takes ED meds after starting a depression med. he never mentioned it i happened to find a wrapper he left out. We are late 40s and I want to be supportive. my mind goes to cheating because otherwise wouldn’t he have shared with me he’s on them? Trying to be supportive and wondering what other couples experiences have been with sharing something like this with your partner?


I don't always go over my med list with my partner(s), and I don't cheat, so it's entirely possible that this has nothing to do with cheating. Equally possible it's a shame thing, especially if your reaction to finding them was negative.

I think it's sexy if someone cares enough about my pleasure to consider meds, and I have no trouble being supportive about that conversation. PIV isn't necessary for me, and I think it's sad that so many men face shame issues about this. The cycle perpetuates itself.
Anonymous
I was with my last partner for 9 years and several women before then and never told them I took the pill. It's his business what medications he takes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A side effect of some (many?) meds for depression is diminished sex drive. So taking a ED med along side of this is a good response.

For example, I'm on the highest dose possible for the SSRI I take and my sex drive was zero for a while and then improved to about once a month. If I didn't take the SSRI, I'd be full-time miserable, depressed, emotionally unresponsive, and not interested in sex. If I take the SSRI, I am happy, participate in human interactions, and rarely think of sex.

My preference is to be alive and happy.
Viagra does nothing at all to improve libido. A man's sex drive will not change after taking it. If the problem is in his head, it most likely won't work. You have to be turned on same as normal and then it helps achieve the desired physical result. That's it.
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