How do you talk to your kids about drugs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure you can google all kinds of information on how to approach this, but in reality is there any evidence that any method is better or worse than the other?

While there's no guarantee, I've taken the position with my kids (3 of them, the youngest is 16) of knowing who your kids' friends are, who they're hanging out with. And knowing those parents.

Yes, there is research that harm reduction-based programs are more effective than zero tolerance.

https://substanceabusepolicy.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13011-022-00502-1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528824/

https://possibilitiesforchange.org/mitigating-risk-in-youth-substance-use-with-the-harm-reduction-model/#:~:text=“Harm%20reduction%20is%20an%20approach,and%20other%20health%20care%20services.”

Generally what the means for parenting:
- Stick to facts, not judgment or scare tactics (Meaning don’t say things like “You’ll die if you do drugs!” Or “All drug users are losers.”)
- Make them aware of harm reduction strategies (“Start low, go slow,” set and setting, etc.)
- Teach them how to recognize an overdose and how to use fentanyl
- Keep your door open because they are much more likely to come to you with questions or for help if you don’t immediately shut them down with zero tolerance language

Obviously some of these are hard for many parents to adopt. At the very least, be honest and non-judgmental.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a cop but I work in LE. I’ve given my now 11yo concrete examples of what we deal with on a weekly basis because of drug use. How it affects your brain/decision making/behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure you can google all kinds of information on how to approach this, but in reality is there any evidence that any method is better or worse than the other?

While there's no guarantee, I've taken the position with my kids (3 of them, the youngest is 16) of knowing who your kids' friends are, who they're hanging out with. And knowing those parents.

Yes, there is research that harm reduction-based programs are more effective than zero tolerance.

https://substanceabusepolicy.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13011-022-00502-1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528824/

https://possibilitiesforchange.org/mitigating-risk-in-youth-substance-use-with-the-harm-reduction-model/#:~:text=“Harm%20reduction%20is%20an%20approach,and%20other%20health%20care%20services.”

Generally what the means for parenting:
- Stick to facts, not judgment or scare tactics (Meaning don’t say things like “You’ll die if you do drugs!” Or “All drug users are losers.”)
- Make them aware of harm reduction strategies (“Start low, go slow,” set and setting, etc.)
- Teach them how to recognize an overdose and how to use fentanyl
- Keep your door open because they are much more likely to come to you with questions or for help if you don’t immediately shut them down with zero tolerance language

Obviously some of these are hard for many parents to adopt. At the very least, be honest and non-judgmental.

Teach them how to use fentanyl?

[Anonymous]

I live in a city with a famously visible homeless population. My kids are still in elementary, but we talk about how people end up homeless, and how many (not all) got there through drug addiction, about how it can change your brain and make you act like a different person. I have a friend whose son was part of that homeless population for awhile due to addiction, so I let them know this can happen to anyone, including to kids like them from good families.

I think the role playing suggestions are a really good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid and his friends seem to think it’s all a big joke. And, to be fair, I probably did at 13 - 14 as well.

I’ve read that scare tactics don’t work and honesty is best. But — in actual words, what does that mean, really?

“Anything you or a friend might be tempted to take or smoke could be laced with fentanyl” is both true and scary.

My anxiety over this on top of the irritation that they joke about drugs nonstop is not a good combo! I would appreciate some advice here. What type of conversations have gone over well with your kids? Is there a guide online somewhere or educational resource that might be helpful?

Take it seriously. I just had a beautiful girl of 24, a former employee, die from a drug overdose. She was buried in Hagerstown this week. It is so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of my kids are athletes and have goals for their HS sports

So the threat of "you MIGHT DIE!" would get a laugh.

But the fact (not even a threat, just a basic cause/effect type of scenario) of "if you get caught, you will be off your team. and it won't be my decision; that is coach's policy. there will be nothing I could do to stop it" is enough to keep them on the straight and narrow

Yet none of those statements are 100% true.

[Anonymous]

We talk openly with our kids, especially when a student dies or is taken away in an ambulance. I also relate that drugs were not as bad when I was a kid, but fentanyl can KILL YOU and so many things are laced with it there is no room to experiment, or try something your friend says is fine. It is not about addiction, which is bad, but literal death from one hit.

[Anonymous]

I talked with my kid about using drugs safely, and about addiction and what to do if she's ever in a situation over her head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of my kids are athletes and have goals for their HS sports

So the threat of "you MIGHT DIE!" would get a laugh.

But the fact (not even a threat, just a basic cause/effect type of scenario) of "if you get caught, you will be off your team. and it won't be my decision; that is coach's policy. there will be nothing I could do to stop it" is enough to keep them on the straight and narrow

If you want to tie it to sports, maybe talk to them about Len Bias, the Georgetown University basketball star who died after trying cocaine one time (allegedly). I was in middle school in DC at the time, and it scared me silly. I've never tried drugs beyond pot (which I tried a few times and hated). My kids are a little young, but I'm definitely going to start talking to both of them about what to look out for--and to know that they can always call us and we will pick them up, no questions asked. That's what my parents did--I remember my dad picking me up at some crazy high school parties and never saying anything. Fentanyl is so scary to me and I need to figure out how to talk to the older one pretty soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure you can google all kinds of information on how to approach this, but in reality is there any evidence that any method is better or worse than the other?

While there's no guarantee, I've taken the position with my kids (3 of them, the youngest is 16) of knowing who your kids' friends are, who they're hanging out with. And knowing those parents.

Yes, there is research that harm reduction-based programs are more effective than zero tolerance.

https://substanceabusepolicy.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13011-022-00502-1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528824/

https://possibilitiesforchange.org/mitigating-risk-in-youth-substance-use-with-the-harm-reduction-model/#:~:text=“Harm%20reduction%20is%20an%20approach,and%20other%20health%20care%20services.”

Generally what the means for parenting:
- Stick to facts, not judgment or scare tactics (Meaning don’t say things like “You’ll die if you do drugs!” Or “All drug users are losers.”)
- Make them aware of harm reduction strategies (“Start low, go slow,” set and setting, etc.)
- Teach them how to recognize an overdose and how to use fentanyl
- Keep your door open because they are much more likely to come to you with questions or for help if you don’t immediately shut them down with zero tolerance language

Obviously some of these are hard for many parents to adopt. At the very least, be honest and non-judgmental.

Teach them how to use fentanyl?

Sorry! Missed some very important words there! Teach them about fentanyl and how to use nalaxone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP. The movie Gia in the 90s was enough to scare me to death to never touch that stuff!

Is there something on that same level that they can watch nowadays?

Honestly? Euphoria. I know I know - that show has extreme sexual content in addition to violence,, assault, and some truly terrifying content. But for a 17/18 year old - I honestly can't imagine someone watching Rue's descent and thinking "oh that seems like a good idea." Zendaya brilliantly portrays the ugliest parts of drug use in a real, terrifying way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We talk openly with our kids, especially when a student dies or is taken away in an ambulance. I also relate that drugs were not as bad when I was a kid, but fentanyl can KILL YOU and so many things are laced with it there is no room to experiment, or try something your friend says is fine. It is not about addiction, which is bad, but literal death from one hit.

+1
Drugs are almost always laced with other drugs, such as fentanyl or xylazine, the flesh-rotting drug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of my kids are athletes and have goals for their HS sports

So the threat of "you MIGHT DIE!" would get a laugh.

But the fact (not even a threat, just a basic cause/effect type of scenario) of "if you get caught, you will be off your team. and it won't be my decision; that is coach's policy. there will be nothing I could do to stop it" is enough to keep them on the straight and narrow

If you want to tie it to sports, maybe talk to them about Len Bias, the Georgetown University basketball star who died after trying cocaine one time (allegedly). I was in middle school in DC at the time, and it scared me silly. I've never tried drugs beyond pot (which I tried a few times and hated). My kids are a little young, but I'm definitely going to start talking to both of them about what to look out for--and to know that they can always call us and we will pick them up, no questions asked. That's what my parents did--I remember my dad picking me up at some crazy high school parties and never saying anything. Fentanyl is so scary to me and I need to figure out how to talk to the older one pretty soon.

I think the problem is that that the threat (it only takes 1 time!!!!) won't align with their experiences. Bc they'll see kids that do cocaine. And they don't die. And they'll see that over and over again. So then its easy to dismiss the parent as exaggerating and hysterical. And then the danger of the drug is essentially gone.

So it has to be a more legitimate and honestly, realistic, consequence.

[Anonymous]

When everything is being laced with fentanyl then there’s no such thing as using drugs safely. This isn’t 1985.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time there is an overdose in the news or in one of our local schools, I show them the article/coverage. We are in Arlington and there have been a handful already the school.

Yes! Real kids makes it feel more real to them.

This. My kids stopped laughing at me being stressed about drugs when someone they knew at school overdosed. I happily and factually answered all their questions