Teen wants brand name items

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above posters. DD14 is similar, and last year we set up an agreed upon allowance amount so she could save up and buy herself whatever she wanted. She quickly realized how expensive everything is and how long she’d have to wait before she could afford to buy them. She started asking to do odd jobs and chores for cash. She makes me an iced vanilla latte that tastes even better than Starbucks and I pay her $5.

Then her friends told her they buy the fancy makeup brands at Marshall’s. (This, after she had paid $18 for the exact same lip gloss)! And then she found Lululemon in one of our local thrift stores. And she finally started learning how to stretch her money.

For Christmas, she put an expensive Lululemon jacket on her wish list, but we bought her other stuff, and she received gift cards from family. So she asked if she could sell me the gift cards and return a couple of items that didn’t fit, and then she got enough to buy herself the jacket she wanted.

I highly recommend this approach!

+1

We do something similar. At 13-14, DD was in this phase and had a few treasured Lululemon items that she bought full price with birthday/Christmas gift cards from family. Not surprisingly, she was unhappy about how little she could get with that money. The fact that it was "her" money (gift cards that she controlled) really helped her understand the true cost of choosing expensive brands. Her dollars really did not go far.

So then we talked about local consignment stores and eBay, and she was skeptical but willing to try it. Turns out, she was willing to participate in the "hunt," which became another hands-on way for her to understand cost and value. Plus she/we found some good stuff!

Now she's 16 and seems to have settled in to the idea of getting a few brand name items per year - for her birthday and Christmas. And though she's now earning some money through various seasonal jobs, she doesn't ever spend her money on the expensive stuff. LOL.

She doesn't seem to feel deprived in any way. She just sees pricey brand name items are a "sometimes" thing - when value to her is worth the extra cost. I consider this a big parenting win (with a nod to my mother and grandmother, who grew up poor but were remarkably good at stretching their limited dollars to include some special things along the way!)

I think this is the wonderful middle ground. Kid still feels like they participate in current styles/trends/fashion and doesn't feel deprived. The kids I saw who grew up with parents who could afford name brand but refused were bitter and a couple went overboard in their 20s with credit card debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

Thanks mom. If you don't spend that much why do you expect Grandma or an aunt to spend that much. If I was your sister or parent, I would tell you to f**k off buy your kid a decent gift.

Oh please. I buy my little nieces Hanna and Boden dresses because it’s ONE dress and it brings them such joy - which brings me joy. If I was their mom, I would never spend $65 on a dress for a 5 yr old because the parent buys like 5-10 outfits per year. But when it’s just one, it feels like more than a dress or a practical clothing item. It feels like a special treat. It also lets the parent hold the line on “I won’t buy that silly status item”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD never cared for clothes until...this year. Now all she wants to do is shop. Problem is that she also wants expensive stuff--like Lululemon and Uggs and Aviator Nation sweats. I know this topic comes up frequently but I don't know what to do--do I let her go down this route or not? Cost is a factor though we could afford it if I could any pros to it. I can't!!!! Also, how long does this phase last?
DD is in 9th grade and goes to public.

If you don't nip it in the bud it won't be a phase. And if she's on TikTok there will be more of it. See the insanity over Stanley cups.

The way to deal with it is to make her buy them herself. An allowance she has to save. And then a job. But teach her about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD never cared for clothes until...this year. Now all she wants to do is shop. Problem is that she also wants expensive stuff--like Lululemon and Uggs and Aviator Nation sweats. I know this topic comes up frequently but I don't know what to do--do I let her go down this route or not? Cost is a factor though we could afford it if I could any pros to it. I can't!!!! Also, how long does this phase last?
DD is in 9th grade and goes to public.

Avaiator Nation sweats no.

Uggs & lulu birthday or christmas presents. One pair for the Lulus she wants more she can babysit or walk dogs or shovel snow.

I was the kid that never had a name brand anything it was hard.

Lots of amazon dupes of Lulu's by the way. They are pretty darn close. Same with Zella at Nordstom original Lulu designer = Zella.

Thanks for sharing, I didn't know that. I saw a cute tennis skort online at Lululemon but never made it to the store. I happened to be at Nordstrom Rack and bought a very similar Zella one for much less.

[Anonymous]

I was very much into insisting that my kid had a variety of outfits to wear.

But when she got into this phase, she insisted on rotating through the same two or three outfits every day. But that was on her to keep them clean and washed. in fact, she wore the leggings so much that the “price per wear” ended up being low, so it actually made it worth it; instead of having to buy five or six pairs of jeans, shorts, or leggings for $35 a pair she wore the $100 Lululemons (for example).

We do like some previous PP‘s, and give our kid an allowance. It’s the same money that I would spend on clothes, but I bite my tongue and let her do what she wants with it. I still buy shoes - a pair at the beginning of the year, around Christmastime, and in the spring. But my kids’ foot sized isn’t growing any bigger, so I am OK spending a substantial amount of money on footweat. One, because your feet are everything, (2) she wears the same sneakers with every type of outfit, even to homecoming, And (3) she’ll have them forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

Thanks mom. If you don't spend that much why do you expect Grandma or an aunt to spend that much. If I was your sister or parent, I would tell you to f**k off buy your kid a decent gift.

Oh please. I buy my little nieces Hanna and Boden dresses because it’s ONE dress and it brings them such joy - which brings me joy. If I was their mom, I would never spend $65 on a dress for a 5 yr old because the parent buys like 5-10 outfits per year. But when it’s just one, it feels like more than a dress or a practical clothing item. It feels like a special treat. It also lets the parent hold the line on “I won’t buy that silly status item”.

+1 My sister buys my girls expensive clothing like Mini Boden and I buy my nephew the All-Clad and other pricey kitchen and tabletop stuff that he wants but she won't buy him. These are special treats from loving aunts, not every day supplies from parents.

[Anonymous]

Unpopular opinion but I personally can’t see you making my teen wait for a birthday or Christmas to get donething . Those are dates that we adults made up. If every kid has a new Stanley Cup in January, I would buy my kid one, if they wanted it; and for their birthday in May I’d give them nothing or something small, if money was an issue. The cup is probably a silly example, but my 16yo designer needed a new phone and wanted the newest iPhone. so we bought it in October. And for Christmas she understood that she had just gotten a $500 iPhone (trade in investment) and that would’ve been her big gift. So she opened her new socks and perfume and took pics with her 2-month old pink phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was very much into insisting that my kid had a variety of outfits to wear.

But when she got into this phase, she insisted on rotating through the same two or three outfits every day. But that was on her to keep them clean and washed. in fact, she wore the leggings so much that the “price per wear” ended up being low, so it actually made it worth it; instead of having to buy five or six pairs of jeans, shorts, or leggings for $35 a pair she wore the $100 Lululemons (for example).

We do like some previous PP‘s, and give our kid an allowance. It’s the same money that I would spend on clothes, but I bite my tongue and let her do what she wants with it. I still buy shoes - a pair at the beginning of the year, around Christmastime, and in the spring. But my kids’ foot sized isn’t growing any bigger, so I am OK spending a substantial amount of money on footweat. One, because your feet are everything, (2) she wears the same sneakers with every type of outfit, even to homecoming, And (3) she’ll have them forever.

I'm glad you let her make this choice. I'm the pp who wore my Guess jeans minimum 3 times per week. I was so much happier wearing those jeans nonstop rather than rotating through 3 pairs of cheaper jeans that I didn't even want. Even my brother who tormented me admitted that it was a good choice because my cost per wear was so low.

[Anonymous]

I have a DD the same age and for the most part- those items are for birthdays, Christmas, or if she buys them herself (OR pays the difference of what I am normally willing to spend on a needed item). She babysits, gets $ and gift cards from family for Christmas and birthdays, and generally has an option to do a reasonable amount of extra chores to earn $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

Thanks mom. If you don't spend that much why do you expect Grandma or an aunt to spend that much. If I was your sister or parent, I would tell you to f**k off buy your kid a decent gift.

My child is not suffering due to lack of high priced material goods purchased by me. My family is wealthy and always want and ask to buy the "big ticket items" because that's just how they are -- they buy family members the same things they like and buy for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD never cared for clothes until...this year. Now all she wants to do is shop. Problem is that she also wants expensive stuff--like Lululemon and Uggs and Aviator Nation sweats. I know this topic comes up frequently but I don't know what to do--do I let her go down this route or not? Cost is a factor though we could afford it if I could any pros to it. I can't!!!! Also, how long does this phase last?
DD is in 9th grade and goes to public.

Avaiator Nation sweats no.

Uggs & lulu birthday or christmas presents. One pair for the Lulus she wants more she can babysit or walk dogs or shovel snow.

I was the kid that never had a name brand anything it was hard.

Lots of amazon dupes of Lulu's by the way. They are pretty darn close. Same with Zella at Nordstom original Lulu designer = Zella.

I would not recommend buying clothing from Amazon. Bring her to a mall and let her see what’s out there. Aerie is a teen store with very flattering leggings and hoodies. Zella is always in Nordstrom Rack. Urban Outfitters, PacSun, anything geared towards teens will look a whole lot better than basic Lululemon. She’ll find her own style similar but more fitting to her.

[Anonymous]

I give my daughter a budget for back to school so she can choose how she wants to spend her budget - up to her if she wants to spend it on a few more expensive things or spread it around. She also has a bit of her own money from babysitting that she spends as she wants.

I do buy her a few special things for her birthday and Christmas too - I remember being a teenager and dying to have the trendy stuff. She's a good kid and works hard, so I am willing to spoil her a bit. She has the real ugg slippers and I have the costco knockoff - I have no need for the brand name at this point in my life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

Thanks mom. If you don't spend that much why do you expect Grandma or an aunt to spend that much. If I was your sister or parent, I would tell you to f**k off buy your kid a decent gift.

My child is not suffering due to lack of high priced material goods purchased by me. My family is wealthy and always want and ask to buy the "big ticket items" because that's just how they are -- they buy family members the same things they like and buy for themselves.

Nobody said anyone was suffering. I don't get it...are you not part of the "wealthy family"?

[Anonymous]

It’s not in our budget to pay for all the trendy, expensive brands for all three kids. Earlier this month was the first time my 13 year old asked for a brand name. The others don’t seem to care yet. He wanted a pair of Jordans. If he’d asked a month earlier, he would have gotten them for Christmas because he didn’t have any big requests. Instead, he used his Christmas $ from relatives and part of the money he’d earned doing chores for a neighbor.

I was fine with it and going forward will probably give him whatever amount I’d pay for shoes and have him cover the rest. He didn’t need shoes right now so the Jordan’s were all on him.

[Anonymous]

I do only when I find it really cheap on clearance. Otherwise no but mine don't care fully.