Teen wants brand name items

[Anonymous]

DD never cared for clothes until...this year. Now all she wants to do is shop. Problem is that she also wants expensive stuff--like Lululemon and Uggs and Aviator Nation sweats. I know this topic comes up frequently but I don't know what to do--do I let her go down this route or not? Cost is a factor though we could afford it if I could any pros to it. I can't!!!! Also, how long does this phase last?
DD is in 9th grade and goes to public.

[Anonymous]

Tell her she gets 3 “status items” per year: one for bday, one for Christmas/Hanukkah, and one “just because” or back-to-school item.

She’ll choose something lulus, something Uggs, and a Stanley.

[Anonymous]

This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above posters. DD14 is similar, and last year we set up an agreed upon allowance amount so she could save up and buy herself whatever she wanted. She quickly realized how expensive everything is and how long she’d have to wait before she could afford to buy them. She started asking to do odd jobs and chores for cash. She makes me an iced vanilla latte that tastes even better than Starbucks and I pay her $5.

Then her friends told her they buy the fancy makeup brands at Marshall’s. (This, after she had paid $18 for the exact same lip gloss)! And then she found Lululemon in one of our local thrift stores. And she finally started learning how to stretch her money.

For Christmas, she put an expensive Lululemon jacket on her wish list, but we bought her other stuff, and she received gift cards from family. So she asked if she could sell me the gift cards and return a couple of items that didn’t fit, and then she got enough to buy herself the jacket she wanted.

I highly recommend this approach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above posters. DD14 is similar, and last year we set up an agreed upon allowance amount so she could save up and buy herself whatever she wanted. She quickly realized how expensive everything is and how long she’d have to wait before she could afford to buy them. She started asking to do odd jobs and chores for cash. She makes me an iced vanilla latte that tastes even better than Starbucks and I pay her $5.

Then her friends told her they buy the fancy makeup brands at Marshall’s. (This, after she had paid $18 for the exact same lip gloss)! And then she found Lululemon in one of our local thrift stores. And she finally started learning how to stretch her money.

For Christmas, she put an expensive Lululemon jacket on her wish list, but we bought her other stuff, and she received gift cards from family. So she asked if she could sell me the gift cards and return a couple of items that didn’t fit, and then she got enough to buy herself the jacket she wanted.

I highly recommend this approach!

+1 excellent way to do it.

My 15 yr old DD has been getting an allowance since she was like 8. I repeatedly told her that things are expensive, and so she needs to learn to budget if she wants things. That's real life.

In the beginning she would blow through her allowance in the first two weeks. She slowly learned to not do that.

I also told her to get a job if she wants to save more, but she's picky. So, she doesn't get what she wants all the time.

But, yes, she's also learned to shop at consignment stores and the good will. We've had lots of conversations about how most name brands aren't worth the cost, and that at her age, she is still growing (yes, at 15 she's still growing b/c she was a late bloomer), and that she will outgrow these expensive things within a year to two. I don't mind buying her nice things, but they should last more than a year.

I honestly don't understand why people like Ugg boots. They are not comfortable, at all. The souls are so stiff, I feel like I have cardboard on the bottom of the shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

Thanks mom. If you don't spend that much why do you expect Grandma or an aunt to spend that much. If I was your sister or parent, I would tell you to f**k off buy your kid a decent gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she gets 3 “status items” per year: one for bday, one for Christmas/Hanukkah, and one “just because” or back-to-school item.

She’ll choose something lulus, something Uggs, and a Stanley.

+1 These are special occasion gifts. If your DD is into names now, then she'll probably keep that up.

DD has a mix of "regular" stuff like Hollister on sale and even some Marshalls stuff (shhh) plus some special gifts like expensive work out gear and the $40 lip gloss kit she wanted. She's pretty good about not asking for a bunch of pricey items. I'm worried about DD2 though. She's been begging to go shopping since she could talk and gravitates towards high-end things.

Another option is if your DD really only wants certain names, then teach her to do laundry and she wears them 2-3 times per week. You spend the same $ but she gets fewer, pricier things. I begged for Guess jeans back when they first came out. My mom finally relented and I wore them 3+ times per week.

[Anonymous]

Gifts (Bday and Christmas/Hanukkah) and their own money is what I would do

[Anonymous]

Poshmark is also a good option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD never cared for clothes until...this year. Now all she wants to do is shop. Problem is that she also wants expensive stuff--like Lululemon and Uggs and Aviator Nation sweats. I know this topic comes up frequently but I don't know what to do--do I let her go down this route or not? Cost is a factor though we could afford it if I could any pros to it. I can't!!!! Also, how long does this phase last?
DD is in 9th grade and goes to public.

Avaiator Nation sweats no.

Uggs & lulu birthday or christmas presents. One pair for the Lulus she wants more she can babysit or walk dogs or shovel snow.

I was the kid that never had a name brand anything it was hard.

Lots of amazon dupes of Lulu's by the way. They are pretty darn close. Same with Zella at Nordstom original Lulu designer = Zella.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above posters. DD14 is similar, and last year we set up an agreed upon allowance amount so she could save up and buy herself whatever she wanted. She quickly realized how expensive everything is and how long she’d have to wait before she could afford to buy them. She started asking to do odd jobs and chores for cash. She makes me an iced vanilla latte that tastes even better than Starbucks and I pay her $5.

Then her friends told her they buy the fancy makeup brands at Marshall’s. (This, after she had paid $18 for the exact same lip gloss)! And then she found Lululemon in one of our local thrift stores. And she finally started learning how to stretch her money.

For Christmas, she put an expensive Lululemon jacket on her wish list, but we bought her other stuff, and she received gift cards from family. So she asked if she could sell me the gift cards and return a couple of items that didn’t fit, and then she got enough to buy herself the jacket she wanted.

I highly recommend this approach!

+1

We do something similar. At 13-14, DD was in this phase and had a few treasured Lululemon items that she bought full price with birthday/Christmas gift cards from family. Not surprisingly, she was unhappy about how little she could get with that money. The fact that it was "her" money (gift cards that she controlled) really helped her understand the true cost of choosing expensive brands. Her dollars really did not go far.

So then we talked about local consignment stores and eBay, and she was skeptical but willing to try it. Turns out, she was willing to participate in the "hunt," which became another hands-on way for her to understand cost and value. Plus she/we found some good stuff!

Now she's 16 and seems to have settled in to the idea of getting a few brand name items per year - for her birthday and Christmas. And though she's now earning some money through various seasonal jobs, she doesn't ever spend her money on the expensive stuff. LOL.

She doesn't seem to feel deprived in any way. She just sees pricey brand name items are a "sometimes" thing - when value to her is worth the extra cost. I consider this a big parenting win (with a nod to my mother and grandmother, who grew up poor but were remarkably good at stretching their limited dollars to include some special things along the way!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gifts (Bday and Christmas/Hanukkah) and their own money is what I would do

This is what I do too. My parents and relatives throw so much money at my kids they have a hefty little savings. When they have to start spending from their money they are much more careful about it.

[Anonymous]

I would give her a budget each quarter/semester/year and she has to plan her clothes within that budget.

I can remember getting the ONE name brand item I really wanted and I wore it nonstop. Versus previously I would have gone through 5 pairs of jeans instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This falls into the category of "That's nice, dear. Maybe for your birthday or the holidays." And then for her birthday and hanukah/christmas I'd get her one.

This. But really an aunt or grandparent would give it as a gift. I don’t spend that much $$ on clothing for kids.

Thanks mom. If you don't spend that much why do you expect Grandma or an aunt to spend that much. If I was your sister or parent, I would tell you to f**k off buy your kid a decent gift.

LOL.

That's what gifts are - something special you wouldn't normally get in the regular course of things (like when a teen outgrows their old shoes or clothes and needs a bigger size).

My guess is the PP does the same for her neices and nephews. That's certainly how it works in our family. The twice a year gifts are for splurges (with a "splurge" being a single Lululemon item or a $100 gift card rather than a handful of less expensive things.)