Can I take him/this seriously yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. It’s not love bombing. He’s not like that—very staid and deliberate. Doesn’t make over the top romantic gestures, does make normal ones unasked—bday, Valentine’s Day, holidays, dates. Knows the ropes but also very happy hanging out at home together in cozy clothes playing games/cooking.

If you've been dating for 6 months, how do you know how he handles Valentine's Day?

Whole post seems trollish: he's somehow simultaneously not over the top romantic and "staid and deliberate", but also head over heels in love with you and talking marriage at the 6-month mark; you want us to tell you if he means it, but you tell us that he's sincere, trustworthy, reliable, etc. What exactly are you looking for here?

He made the reservation a month ago. He’s a planner.

Ignoring the rest of your comment bc it’s so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. It’s not love bombing. He’s not like that—very staid and deliberate. Doesn’t make over the top romantic gestures, does make normal ones unasked—bday, Valentine’s Day, holidays, dates. Knows the ropes but also very happy hanging out at home together in cozy clothes playing games/cooking.

If you've been dating for 6 months, how do you know how he handles Valentine's Day?

Whole post seems trollish: he's somehow simultaneously not over the top romantic and "staid and deliberate", but also head over heels in love with you and talking marriage at the 6-month mark; you want us to tell you if he means it, but you tell us that he's sincere, trustworthy, reliable, etc. What exactly are you looking for here?

He made the reservation a month ago. He’s a planner.

Ignoring the rest of your comment bc it’s so rude.

No it's not rude. NP, and i'm the one who posted up top that his behavior is wildly mismatched from your question. How can things simulanteously be:
1. You unsure if you can take this relationship seriously
2. He is staid and deliberate and absolutely trustworthy
3. He is madly in love with you and talking about marriage at the six month mark

[Anonymous]

How old are you? My husband and I began talking marriage in the 5 month range, got engaged at 9 months and were married at 16 months. We have been together 18 years.

But, we were early and late 30s when we met, never married or had kids before and I never, ever questioned if I could take him seriously.

The strange part in all this to me is your insecurity about the situation if he is as steadfast as you say he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. It’s not love bombing. He’s not like that—very staid and deliberate. Doesn’t make over the top romantic gestures, does make normal ones unasked—bday, Valentine’s Day, holidays, dates. Knows the ropes but also very happy hanging out at home together in cozy clothes playing games/cooking.

If you've been dating for 6 months, how do you know how he handles Valentine's Day?

Whole post seems trollish: he's somehow simultaneously not over the top romantic and "staid and deliberate", but also head over heels in love with you and talking marriage at the 6-month mark; you want us to tell you if he means it, but you tell us that he's sincere, trustworthy, reliable, etc. What exactly are you looking for here?

He made the reservation a month ago. He’s a planner.

Ignoring the rest of your comment bc it’s so rude.

No it's not rude. NP, and i'm the one who posted up top that his behavior is wildly mismatched from your question. How can things simulanteously be:
1. You unsure if you can take this relationship seriously
2. He is staid and deliberate and absolutely trustworthy
3. He is madly in love with you and talking about marriage at the six month mark

Because we are two different people with different insecurities (mine) and levels of jaded skepticism (also mine).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? My husband and I began talking marriage in the 5 month range, got engaged at 9 months and were married at 16 months. We have been together 18 years.

But, we were early and late 30s when we met, never married or had kids before and I never, ever questioned if I could take him seriously.

The strange part in all this to me is your insecurity about the situation if he is as steadfast as you say he is.

I admit this may be a me problem (see above). My head is saying “is this too good to be true.” He has no such reservations, as far as I can tell. He says that I have dispelled them all, which seems ludicrous to me, as I consider myself a very flawed person and therefore incredulous that he apparently loves me anyway.

[Anonymous]

Never take words seriously. He is asking and talking a lot of stuff. But look at what he does.

Introducing you to his people is important.

Allow him to initiate most of the time, pay for things most of the times.

Be an observer.

Instead of thinking 'is he gonna pick me?'

Watch and observe is he would be a good pick for yourself.

Watch what he does consistently over time.

If he's serious, you will know and you won't have to ask the internet.

Best wishes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. It’s not love bombing. He’s not like that—very staid and deliberate. Doesn’t make over the top romantic gestures, does make normal ones unasked—bday, Valentine’s Day, holidays, dates. Knows the ropes but also very happy hanging out at home together in cozy clothes playing games/cooking.

If you've been dating for 6 months, how do you know how he handles Valentine's Day?

Whole post seems trollish: he's somehow simultaneously not over the top romantic and "staid and deliberate", but also head over heels in love with you and talking marriage at the 6-month mark; you want us to tell you if he means it, but you tell us that he's sincere, trustworthy, reliable, etc. What exactly are you looking for here?

He made the reservation a month ago. He’s a planner.

Ignoring the rest of your comment bc it’s so rude.

No it's not rude. NP, and i'm the one who posted up top that his behavior is wildly mismatched from your question. How can things simulanteously be:
1. You unsure if you can take this relationship seriously
2. He is staid and deliberate and absolutely trustworthy
3. He is madly in love with you and talking about marriage at the six month mark

Because we are two different people with different insecurities (mine) and levels of jaded skepticism (also mine).

Your relationship will always reflect you. So if your are ever insecure and skeptical, you relationship will be too. I admire your awareness about it.
Keep doing the work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he was serious he would propose and not talk about it. My DH did most of that and proposed at 4 months. He flew me back to his hometown so I could meet his parents too.

He didn’t dangle the “You could be the one! I’m thinking about taking you ring shopping!” thing in my face, he showed me and he did it.

+1 We also got engaged at 4 months, married at 10 months, and have been married now for nearly 21 years. When you know, you know!

[Anonymous]

I like the Janet Jackson test -- "What have you done for me lately?"

He says he loves you. But what does he do for you to show it? If you were sick at 3am would he get up and take care of you? If you had a lot to do and realized your car was almost out of gas and you had a drive that you needed to do early in the morning, would he go out into the cold to fill up your tank? Someone needs to sit next to your horrible xenophobic aunt at your cousin's birthday party and chat at her to keep her from causing a scene -- can he do it? Etc, etc, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Sounds like love bombing if anything. SIx months in and he's talking about rings, and you're wondering if you can take the relationship seriously "yet"???

Something is seriously mismatched.

This. To me, too fast, but then again others do it. Depends on how desperate you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like the Janet Jackson test -- "What have you done for me lately?"

He says he loves you. But what does he do for you to show it? If you were sick at 3am would he get up and take care of you? If you had a lot to do and realized your car was almost out of gas and you had a drive that you needed to do early in the morning, would he go out into the cold to fill up your tank? Someone needs to sit next to your horrible xenophobic aunt at your cousin's birthday party and chat at her to keep her from causing a scene -- can he do it? Etc, etc, etc.

Yes he would to all of these. He already has (and so have I).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in this/that area, has he taken you to any of the top places? e.g., Baxter's, The Hop, Prentice Place, Lido Slide, the Fives?

Wtf does this have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never take words seriously. He is asking and talking a lot of stuff. But look at what he does.

Introducing you to his people is important.

Allow him to initiate most of the time, pay for things most of the times.

Be an observer.

Instead of thinking 'is he gonna pick me?'

Watch and observe is he would be a good pick for yourself.

Watch what he does consistently over time.

If he's serious, you will know and you won't have to ask the internet.

Best wishes!

This is good advice.