are you friends with your teen's friends' parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I barely know any of my teen DS friends' parents. They drop them off at our house, they barely come out of the car. When DS goes to their houses, parents are nowhere to be seen. I am not saying I want to be friends with the parents but an occasional "hi, I am Larla's mom" would be nice. I am an immigrant and in my culture, parents knew each other quite well.

Even if the kids met as teens?

[Anonymous]

I live in a smallish city where, even if you don’t know-know parents, you probably know of them. No more than a few degrees of separation between everyone, which is kind of nice.

[Anonymous]

I created lost of friends with my sons classmates/friends parents K-8.

Did not create 1 friend in HS.

[Anonymous]

DD is in HS. Some of them I've met and am friendly with (but not friends with), and some I haven't met.

It's not like ES where the parents are friends or even MS where parents still do a lot of the coordination. I expect I'll have even fewer opportunities to meet them in the future as DD is in 10th grade and the kids are starting to drive. Right now her 11th grade friend drives her to and from school and sports practice.

[Anonymous]

No, not really. I’ve said hello and made small talk for a minute with some when one of us is driving for the first time. That’s the extent of it.

The exception are when they are on sports teams together and I’m spending a lot of time with these parents on the sidelines. I wouldn’t say friends but much more comfortable and friendly. We don’t get together outside of the games.

I’m still friends with the parents from elementary school. The kids have drifted but I am actually friends with some of these people, where we get together socially still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got to know parents up until my kids were around 15/16. By that age kids were making their own plans and then starting to drive themselves. I did lots of carpooling for activities and hosting at my house before the kids got to that age so did know most parents for years.

OP here: I am totally fine with carpooling but I feel awkward that I don't know the other parents. In some cases I don't even have their phone #s. Luckily all kids have been very organized and not lying about where they are and who they are with but still...

[Anonymous]

Mostly, yes.

One of my teens predominantly hangs out with the kids in our neighborhood that he grew up with/still swims on the summer swim team together. We know all of those parents very well/still hang out socially with them on our own.

My other teens has some friends from school that I don't know but they don't tend to socialize much outside of school. We have met his girlfriend's family and a couple friends he still has from middle school. But we aren't social with them.

[Anonymous]

We know each other well enough that I know who I can trust and who my teen should avoid (the cheater), but we aren’t going to dinner together or hanging out ourselves.

DH knows most of the sports parents through volunteering with the team. I’ve met a few but I don’t know them as well as he does because it’s kind of a bro culture. Lots of dads and they act weird when a mom volunteers. The stories on this board might explain some of that…

[Anonymous]

I only know the ones who are neighbors and the ones I see at games. My teens drive so I don't really get to meet parents anymore.

[Anonymous]

My kids generally have 2 groups of friends. Neighborhood friends who they have known from preschool days and school friends.
I am close friends with many of the neighborhood kid's parents. I know several of the school friends parents from sports events or other things at the school but I am not friends with them.

[Anonymous]

Neighborhood ones we’ve known since ES, yes. Some of us hang out socially from time to time. And now I’d say I’m friendly with the sports parents, at least enough that we are all comfortable asking to carpool etc on occasion. Other newer HS friends, nope.

[Anonymous]

A lot of them - yes. They live near us, etc. And my kid is often friends with kids from school activities so I see them there, etc. I am kind of crazy - I'll be friends with almost anyone and I don't get off put by much.

[Anonymous]

Enough to text and that's nice enough for me. I find some so different in tastes/ style that hanging out is awkward for both sides.

[Anonymous]

I know the parents of my teenager’s best friends, but not others. What you described is completely normal.

[Anonymous]

I'm close friends with my daughter's best friend since preschool. But to be honest, it has really complicated DD's relationship with her bestie in some ways and had I to do it over again, I would AVOID getting so close to the best friend's mom. Things the best friend has done I felt obligated to tell her mom (we text daily, take walks together, etc) and would have been downright bizarre for me to not share. Some very awkward exchanges and hurt feeling ensued that would have never happened had we not had "good friend" expectation of each other as moms. It's better NOT to be close to your kids' friends' parents IMHO.