Question to Men about love / lust

[Anonymous]

I want to have sex all the time. I feel lust for my wife and every other attractive woman I have seen since I was 12 years old. Before meeting my wife, I had great sex with women I was very sexually attracted to but did not particularly like as a people. Lust and love do not necessarily go hand in hand. It is the history with my wife, her personality and her quirks--not the lingerie or lack thereof--that makes me love her.

[Anonymous]

Anything can set me off but I have to be happy first. Her toes sticking out of a blanket, hearing her say something sweet to the dog, doing her make up in her heels in the bathroom mirror, if she puts on my size 13 shoes to walk outside for the paper, watching her put perfume behind her knees kills me…. it goes on and on and if everything is going well the tiniest thing can get me going but her general appearance matters little, she could just be waking up a total mess with a hangover or dressed to the nines.

[Anonymous]

Crotchless panties or garter belt does it for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my wife smiles at me I get an instant boner. She could be wearing maternity clothes doesn’t matter. I just love her so much.

So great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my lust for my then GF and now DW has evolved over thee years. Before, when we were dating it was animalistic. Now, it is very much linked to a much deeper and stronger love/bond we have for each other.

If anything, my lust for her, driven by a deeper love, is even stronger. sure from time to time she'll wear lingerie to appease my visual senses but really, I want her all the time irrespective of what outfit she may be wearing. Of course she does wear certain outfits that she knows gets an even 'stronger' reaction from me and we both get to enjoy the benefits of that.

Nice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything can set me off but I have to be happy first. Her toes sticking out of a blanket, hearing her say something sweet to the dog, doing her make up in her heels in the bathroom mirror, if she puts on my size 13 shoes to walk outside for the paper, watching her put perfume behind her knees kills me…. it goes on and on and if everything is going well the tiniest thing can get me going but her general appearance matters little, she could just be waking up a total mess with a hangover or dressed to the nines.

Wonderful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mostly don't care. In fact, I didn't even like lingerie until recently. I had the good fortune of dating a few women who looked amazing in lingerie. I ended up spending a lot on lingerie gifts when I was with them. I doubt I'll do that with my current GF, who is older and less toned. In my opinion some women actually look worse in lingerie. It emphasizes their imperfections. Honestly I'm not as attracted physically to my current GF but I like her very much so I'm hoping things will work out and the physical part will improve as we get to know and trust each other.

How do you continue if you are not attracted physically? I struggle with this part in having intimacy if there isn't a strong physical attraction.

[Anonymous]

How do I continue? Honestly, I worry about this. But the answer is that she is great in other ways and even the sex is sometimes very good.

She always seems to love the sex. She gets very aroused. I like that. She also tries hard to please me. I like that too. Post sex, she likes to fall asleep with her arm around me. She makes sure our bodies are touching all night. So the emotional part of sexual attraction is strong.

Separate from the sex, we enjoy our time together. Our conversations are great. She's attentive and appreciative. I respect her and she respects me.

Will it last? I don't know. I'm hoping that I will feel more attraction over time as we get closer to each other. It will be a different kind of attraction from pure lust. More like warmth and positive associations.

I don't have trouble meeting women and there are a few who seemed interested who are also more attractive. I turned them down because we aren't as compatible in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you truly love a woman, are you attracted to her (wanting to connect with her sexually) only if she’s wearing something that catches your eye— e.g., a certain underwear / lingerie? Or, do you crave her in that way because of something deeper?

Love doesn't matter. If you aren't seriously off putting in looks or personality, a man with a normal libido will be happy to have sex with you if you show a modicum of interest. In the dark looks don't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you truly love a woman, are you attracted to her (wanting to connect with her sexually) only if she’s wearing something that catches your eye— e.g., a certain underwear / lingerie? Or, do you crave her in that way because of something deeper?

Love doesn't matter. If you aren't seriously off putting in looks or personality, a man with a normal libido will be happy to have sex with you if you show a modicum of interest. In the dark looks don't matter.

+1. This whole question seems moot. Men feel love and emotional connection through sex, but they don’t show true love through sex. Men show you they love you outside of “lust” by taking out the garbage regularly, getting you cold medicine from the drug store while it’s raining, making you coffee the way you like it. In other words- in a similar way to how women show love! They’ll have sex whenever and with whoever, and maybe it’ll be more exciting for them if you have lingerie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I continue? Honestly, I worry about this. But the answer is that she is great in other ways and even the sex is sometimes very good.

She always seems to love the sex. She gets very aroused. I like that. She also tries hard to please me. I like that too. Post sex, she likes to fall asleep with her arm around me. She makes sure our bodies are touching all night. So the emotional part of sexual attraction is strong.

Separate from the sex, we enjoy our time together. Our conversations are great. She's attentive and appreciative. I respect her and she respects me.

Will it last? I don't know. I'm hoping that I will feel more attraction over time as we get closer to each other. It will be a different kind of attraction from pure lust. More like warmth and positive associations.

I don't have trouble meeting women and there are a few who seemed interested who are also more attractive. I turned them down because we aren't as compatible in other ways.

How do you have sex if you are not attracted? This is what I struggle with getting past. If I had the option of someone I was attracted to I would leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I continue? Honestly, I worry about this. But the answer is that she is great in other ways and even the sex is sometimes very good.

She always seems to love the sex. She gets very aroused. I like that. She also tries hard to please me. I like that too. Post sex, she likes to fall asleep with her arm around me. She makes sure our bodies are touching all night. So the emotional part of sexual attraction is strong.

Separate from the sex, we enjoy our time together. Our conversations are great. She's attentive and appreciative. I respect her and she respects me.

Will it last? I don't know. I'm hoping that I will feel more attraction over time as we get closer to each other. It will be a different kind of attraction from pure lust. More like warmth and positive associations.

I don't have trouble meeting women and there are a few who seemed interested who are also more attractive. I turned them down because we aren't as compatible in other ways.

How do you have sex if you are not attracted? This is what I struggle with getting past. If I had the option of someone I was attracted to I would leave.

DP (but also a guy)...the longer it's been since last time, the more turned on I am by anybody.

[Anonymous]

I crave my wife because she is beautiful, and, I love her. I can care less what she is wearing, but if leg is showing (she's tall) I'm a little extra motivated.

[Anonymous]

All my wife needs to say is let’s have a date tonight and I’m ready to go. I don’t care what she’s wearing because it won’t be on for long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I continue? Honestly, I worry about this. But the answer is that she is great in other ways and even the sex is sometimes very good.

She always seems to love the sex. She gets very aroused. I like that. She also tries hard to please me. I like that too. Post sex, she likes to fall asleep with her arm around me. She makes sure our bodies are touching all night. So the emotional part of sexual attraction is strong.

Separate from the sex, we enjoy our time together. Our conversations are great. She's attentive and appreciative. I respect her and she respects me.

Will it last? I don't know. I'm hoping that I will feel more attraction over time as we get closer to each other. It will be a different kind of attraction from pure lust. More like warmth and positive associations.

I don't have trouble meeting women and there are a few who seemed interested who are also more attractive. I turned them down because we aren't as compatible in other ways.

How do you have sex if you are not attracted? This is what I struggle with getting past. If I had the option of someone I was attracted to I would leave.

I'm somewhat attracted to her. I focus on the parts of her that I like most. I really like her eyes and some other physical things about her.

If we start fooling around, she gets very turned on. Her response is usually very strong and that usually turns me on. I give it time. Sex with her starts out more slowly than with other women and I can't always finish, which rarely happened in prior relationships. I still like it. It makes me feel close to her and I like a lot of it physically. Obviously I'm frustrated when I don't finish.

Some people probably think I have my priorities right. Other people would say I am an awful person because I am getting more attached to a woman, and letting her get more attached to me, even though the chemistry isn't all that great.

She knows that I have had other girlfriends who were more beautiful and she's glad I chose her. She still might be sad if she knew I wrote all of this.