Money Hamster Wheel

[Anonymous]

I remember asking my best friend in our mid 20s if he would work really hard with lots of hours for 20-25 years to be able to retire in his mid 40s-50. He said no.

I worked really hard, built my business and particularly in the early years spent a ton of time working (80-100+ hours most weeks before decreasing to 60 or so the last 10 years). I retired rich in my 40s. My friend vacations a lot and does fine with money but we are obviously worlds apart.

I don’t think one path is better than the other. They both have trade offs. But you are where you are because of choices you made.

[Anonymous]

Can you talk with your boss and hire more competent help at work? And admin assistant? (I really want an IT person dedicated to me and my team- at least that's my dream)

[Anonymous]

I bought AAPL when it was cheap.
It's hard to guess what the next Apple is (maybe there isn't one), but I advise investing long-term in the magnificent 7.

So many people hyperfocus on salary and ignore their investments. You hardly ever get rich with salary alone, OP.

[Anonymous]

Get a good therapist.
Work out.
Meditate with a group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I bought AAPL when it was cheap.
It's hard to guess what the next Apple is (maybe there isn't one), but I advise investing long-term in the magnificent 7.

So many people hyperfocus on salary and ignore their investments. You hardly ever get rich with salary alone, OP.

What is magnificent 7?

[Anonymous]

I lost interest when a couple of you said "I have a high IQ." Every person that admits that (and also says they've "joined Mensa!") says massive self-centered douchery. Go spend some of that money on a therapist and stop using 1970's brain ranking to boost up your sagging self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All, I have anxiety and depression, and also a very high IQ. I have worked so hard for 18 years since graduating college and finally hit the executive level. I did this for money.
I had to pay student loans, my mom did not have any retirement funds, and then I had kids so childcare and housing in DC is atrocious.

I had medical issues 4 years ago and have finally starting bouncing back, but the level of stress at my job is too much. But I want and need the money! Plus, with inflation my money anxiety is spiking high!!

What do I do here? Wealthy earners who did it yourself- what is the secret to longevity and endurance in earning (and keeping!) good money.

Thanks!

Realize that you are going to be stressed no matter what. Now, ask yourself whether you would rather be stressed with money or stressed without money. Also, find some ways to deal with your stress. Maybe start working out.

This. I got a big promotion in 2020 at the same time that my toddler was going through a health crisis that turned out to be a lifelong disability that will preclude her from ever living independently. I’m the primary breadwinner and quitting isn’t an option, especially given our child’s needs.

I started with hiring an excellent therapist who I pay out of pocket for and see every two weeks regardless of how well I think I’m doing. She is a godsend for helping me process difficult things before I even realize they are difficult and impeding me. Last session I went in talking about how hard a time I was having sleeping and it turned out to be unprocessed emotions getting in the way. She helped me identify that and work through that and I started sleeping again.

Then I bought an electric bike and started biking to work. Getting more strenuous exercise than walking on a regular basis has made a huge difference. I loved it so much I started going to weightlifting classes at the office gym and then also hired the personal trainer at work for tailored one on one sessions once a week. Th exercise piece has been huge.

Finally, I hired a nutritionist to help me improve my eating. I’d been skipping meals too frequently and grabbing carbs to fuel quickly and on a blood sugar roller coaster which truly felt terrible. I’ve been logging my food and meeting with the nutritionist weekly and troubleshooting issues and tough days and tweaking things week by week - with a few very small changes built over time (cutting out items with more than 4g of sugar, reducing my carbs, increasing my protein, cutting back on dairy and other saturated fats), my eating has transformed into something that truly supports me and makes it so much easier to make it through the day. I didn’t realize how much what and how I was eating contributed to the stress I was under.

Last thing is sleep. It’s sooo soooo important. For me turning off my phone and leaving it outside my bedroom is key. If it’s outside and off, I don’t reach for it in the middle of the night if I wake up briefly, and I don’t reach for it first thing in the morning and waste time on it in the morning. Going to bed before 10 is also important - not only do I sleep longer, my sleep is better quality. I wake up early enough to be able to take care of the things in my personal life that I’m too tired to deal with in the evenings that hang over my head and add to the stress I feel. So sleeping more, waking earlier, avoiding my phone in the morning (which is a time suck) helps me to accomplish so much more, so much more efficiently which makes everything less stressful.

To me, getting support for these foundational essentials is what self care really is. I’m in a totally different place than I was in 2020-2022 when I was on life support. My life feels so much more manageable even though all the same stressors are here. If you like your work but for the stress, I would examine these lifestyle habits before quitting. If making these kinds of changes don’t help enough to make the stress more manageable, then it’s the job, in which case I would strongly consider walking away. In the longterm, unmitigated stress kills you.

Side note…Whenever I read posts like this, I have two simultaneous thoughts. #1: wow, this poster is amazing and I am really happy for them that they got their life together. #2: this kind of life sounds incredibly boring (to me) and I would rather live 5 to 10 fewer years and just enjoy my life…going to bed when I want, eating what I like and in general being less regulated and more spontaneous. We’re all different!

[Anonymous]

It is hard to say without understanding whether or not your job is actually unreasonably stressful and demanding and whether your financial expectations are reasonable.
If you are one of the “DCUM poor” people who gets stressed because you don’t have $5M, you need to work on your money anxiety. There is a classic story about Oprah who said it took her a long time to realize she had enough. She had millions and was convinced she was still only 1-2 emergencies away from being broke.
If you are actually just getting your feet under you as you adjust to a higher salary, maybe you need to meet with a fee only financial planner. Perhaps the external input that you are doing ok will help you feel less stressed.

I went to a “how to get promoted to Director/ SVP” session once at work and some new manager asked about work life balance. The managing director laughed. He said you don’t get paid $200-300k + bonus to work 8am-5pm and never answer email on the weekend. You need to look at your salary and your hours and stress level and ask yourself if it’s reasonable. Then you need to talk to people you trust at your company who have worked at other companies. And you need to talk to peers who have management level jobs in similar industries. You need to gauge whether you work for a crappy company or manager who expect too much, you have poor stress management and coping skills, or you are not handling the adjustment to being an executive well. If you were recently promoted I encourage you to find a mentor or two at work and give it 12-18 months. You may have a high IQ, but you don’t sound very professionally or politically savvy. You can cultivate that with help from mentors and by observing your successful peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I bought AAPL when it was cheap.
It's hard to guess what the next Apple is (maybe there isn't one), but I advise investing long-term in the magnificent 7.

So many people hyperfocus on salary and ignore their investments. You hardly ever get rich with salary alone, OP.

What is magnificent 7?

Apple (AAPL)
Amazon (AMZN)
Alphabet (GOOGL)
Microsoft (MSFT)
Meta (META)
Tesla (TSLA)
Nvidia (NVDA)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lost interest when a couple of you said "I have a high IQ." Every person that admits that (and also says they've "joined Mensa!") says massive self-centered douchery. Go spend some of that money on a therapist and stop using 1970's brain ranking to boost up your sagging self esteem.

What PP means is that if you have to say it..

... you're not that smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You upgraded your lifestyle when making more money instead of investing and having your money work for you.
You can still change it. Downgrade your lifestyle, invest the extra money you have now and then get a work-life balance job.
Don't tell me how expensive everything is. I have never made over $50k in DC and I live very well. I also work part time in low stress job.

Yeah and what you’re not telling us is that you’re either married to a high earning spouse or you have family money. No one with a family to provide for can “live very well” on a household income of $50k, especially in DC.

The lies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All, I have anxiety and depression, and also a very high IQ. I have worked so hard for 18 years since graduating college and finally hit the executive level. I did this for money.
I had to pay student loans, my mom did not have any retirement funds, and then I had kids so childcare and housing in DC is atrocious.

I had medical issues 4 years ago and have finally starting bouncing back, but the level of stress at my job is too much. But I want and need the money! Plus, with inflation my money anxiety is spiking high!!

What do I do here? Wealthy earners who did it yourself- what is the secret to longevity and endurance in earning (and keeping!) good money.

Thanks!

Stay consistent with taking your medication, and speak with your doctor if it stops working for you.

Secondly, make your money work for you. Invest in index funds, as often as you can. I like Vanguard, Fidelity and T Rowe Price.

Also use your money to make your life as comfortable and stress free as possible. Hire the cleaners and babysitters or nannies. Get a meal delivery service or hire a cook. Hire a good yard guy. Reliable help can bring tremendous ease to your life and free up your time and mental space.

Third, be intentional about time off. schedule a quarterly vacation either by yourself, with family or with friends. Devote time to just being you, not the mom or worker or wife, but just you and what you enjoy. Meet up with friends and family monthly.

I do all of the above and my stress levels are very manageable. I hope you find the solution that works for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I bought AAPL when it was cheap.
It's hard to guess what the next Apple is (maybe there isn't one), but I advise investing long-term in the magnificent 7.

So many people hyperfocus on salary and ignore their investments. You hardly ever get rich with salary alone, OP.

What is magnificent 7?

Apple (AAPL)
Amazon (AMZN)
Alphabet (GOOGL)
Microsoft (MSFT)
Meta (META)
Tesla (TSLA)
Nvidia (NVDA)

You need to find the Magnificent 8th if you want to get rich. That's the real trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I bought AAPL when it was cheap.
It's hard to guess what the next Apple is (maybe there isn't one), but I advise investing long-term in the magnificent 7.

So many people hyperfocus on salary and ignore their investments. You hardly ever get rich with salary alone, OP.

What is magnificent 7?

Apple (AAPL)
Amazon (AMZN)
Alphabet (GOOGL)
Microsoft (MSFT)
Meta (META)
Tesla (TSLA)
Nvidia (NVDA)

You need to find the Magnificent 8th if you want to get rich. That's the real trick.

This made me smile. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You upgraded your lifestyle when making more money instead of investing and having your money work for you.
You can still change it. Downgrade your lifestyle, invest the extra money you have now and then get a work-life balance job.
Don't tell me how expensive everything is. I have never made over $50k in DC and I live very well. I also work part time in low stress job.

Yeah and what you’re not telling us is that you’re either married to a high earning spouse or you have family money. No one with a family to provide for can “live very well” on a household income of $50k, especially in DC.

The lies!

I’m the AAPL poster and I have that relaxed lifestyle. I invested early. No family money. Spouse invested too - he helps his family, not the other way round.

It happens.