Did you grow up in NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up on Long Island. Went to college in the city and lived there for a decade before moving back to the suburbs. I left the city before I had my first kid- I didn’t want to raise kids in a cramped apartment, ultra competitive private schools, and an even more warped perspective of wealth.

If you love living in the city, you might not like the suburbs. The commute is hard, and particularly annoying with kids. But we prefer having the space and it being slightly lower key. We go into the city fairly often for restaurants, museums and events.

This cannot be overstated. I have a NYC private school friend who was embarrassed by their +/- 8 million UES townhouse because their friend group all lived in 40+ million dollar places. Seriously twisted. If you're like general Big Law wealthy expect this insecurity and "woe is me, we are poor!" attitude to be magnified. It's a really warped perspective and hard to fight if you're running in or around these circles, which you will be if you're doing private.

Pp here. This is exactly right. My father is a retired big law partner and I actually grew up in a suburb of Long Island where very wealthy “city people” summered. I was friendly with the kids and went to day camp and then sleepaway together. I cannot emphasize how different big law wealth is to NYC ultra-wealth lifestyle. It’s completely not normal and I just wouldn’t opt in to raising my kids -or living myself- in that stratosphere of wealth unless we were incredibly wealthy.

At a bare minimum, for me personally, it would take a decent apartment and a weekend home outside the city to make it bearable. The city is teeming with people everywhere and as I grew out of my twenties, I found it very stressful.

[Anonymous]

I would say growing up in NYC is way better than growing up in a boring old suburb any day! I had access to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for drawing class and history, the Museum of Modern Art and the Guggenheim, exposure to such a wonderful array of interesting cultures and cuisines! who cares about having a patch of boring old green grass in your back yard? There is an endless supply of exciting things to do and see from Jazz clubs to Comedy Clubs to Shakespeare in the park and plays and films! You'd be nuts to suffer them a life of mediocrity.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I grew up on Long Island and the only time I went in our backyard by the time I was 8, was to help my dad rake and bag leaves twice a year.

[Anonymous]

NP. Agreed that the outrageous wealth with the attitudes that can be trying are on the UES. The big new money downtown has a very different vibe to it, and the people with big money on the UWS don't really show it other than in 15 CPW. But I don't see a lot of kids coming in and out of that building.

And do kids really run around unsupervised in neighborhoods anymore? My sister has 2 kids in the suburbs and she spends all her time in the car driving them to activities. They go to private school so aren't outside hanging out outside with friends anyway.

I do think NYC makes for a more sophisticated kid in that they see so much more of life than other kids.

[Anonymous]

I did not grow up in NYC, but my brother did, our parents moved here when we were 19 and 11, LMC, Brooklyn. I stayed and have been raising my kids here (2 are already done with college, one is still in school), in the same neighborhood which gentrified quite a bit since we first moved in. I did a quick tryout of suburbs when my first kid was born but came back because I am very much a city person. I hated the commute which was amazing by NY standards, hated driving everywhere, hated how quiet it was. However, I wasn’t bothered by the 5 of us living in 1300 sq feet as long as the other things fell into place. I sold my car a year after we moved back to Brooklyn and never looked back.

You can be very happy in the city on a much less than a Big Law income, but you have to appreciate the city for what it is and what it gives you. Ditto for the suburbs. You can be really happy or unhappy in either - it all depends on you and your priorities.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the manhattan in a Middle class family. I was a teen in the 90s and lived there until about 5 years ago. Would love to have raised my kids there but we got priced out. Growing up we did have a small beach house and spent most summers at the beach. It was nothing fancy at all but I think not being in the city during the summer was really beneficial for us all. I do feel like there are so many benefits to raising kids in a city - street smarts, access to so much culture, awareness of the world around you. Suburbs are great too, it’s just different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know two families with kids who do travel sports (volleyball and swimming) and live in the city, it can happen but takes money and time. A boy in my HS class in the city was the #1 18 and under singles player in the country - also time and money.

'

Yea - the sports scene is actually pretty big in the city. There are a lot of good facilities - the John McEnroe or Cary Leeds Center for tennis, lots of squash facilities, an olympic sized pool at Asphalt Green, Chelsea Piers in Chelsea, Randalls Island, Icahn stadium, etc.

The people I know who are very happy in NYC and have raised their kids there: 1) Have at least a 3 bedroom apartment, 2) Have a car in a garage, 3) send their kids to private school, and 4) have a house somewhere else. Yes this requires an absurd amount of money. Those people stay to raise their kids in the city. A lot of others end up moving eventually.

Even if families don’t have all the money for the above, they do and find a way to stay in NYC. The kids feel they don’t have enough and create a story of “lack” that distorts into competitiveness and power seeking.

[Anonymous]

I grew up on the Upper East Side in the 1950s. When I was young my mom gave birth to mouse who we would often take with us on walks around the city. He was a very good sailor. He was good friends with a bird who came over for dinner sometimes.

[Anonymous]

I am the perfect person to answer this, spent the 1st half of my childhood in nyc and the second half in a very generic suburb. When I left nyc I was a street smart tough little nyc kid who was smart and independent. When I was done with 8 years in the suburbs I was a pot smoking binge drinking directionless chump. Suburb culture sucks. Stay in nyc.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a normal UMC home in NYC (both parents were lawyers, but not in big law). Went to a public magnet. I loved it. So much to do and so much freedom as a kid. Maybe because I went to a public school, I didn’t have a super warped view of wealth. Lots of kids were less fortunate than I was; some kids were way more fortunate. I dated someone very wealthy for awhile and, through him, had friends that had Grammys randomly littering their living room and private elevators and summer houses in the Hamptons. But I also had friends who had to rush home to help during the post-work drop off rush at their parents’ dry cleaners or who shared a bed with their grandma. I think NYC is an amazing place to be a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a normal UMC home in NYC (both parents were lawyers, but not in big law). Went to a public magnet. I loved it. So much to do and so much freedom as a kid. Maybe because I went to a public school, I didn’t have a super warped view of wealth. Lots of kids were less fortunate than I was; some kids were way more fortunate. I dated someone very wealthy for awhile and, through him, had friends that had Grammys randomly littering their living room and private elevators and summer houses in the Hamptons. But I also had friends who had to rush home to help during the post-work drop off rush at their parents’ dry cleaners or who shared a bed with their grandma. I think NYC is an amazing place to be a teenager.

FWIW, my cousins and I grew up on LI, and one of them won an Emmy. It's at her parents' house, on their windowsill in the living room.