Why is family so important to people?

[Anonymous]

OP,

I moved from country to country as a child because of my father's job, and never spent much time with any relatives apart from my parents. My kids are the same, because we moved to the US, and all their relatives are on different continents.

Families like ours don't have strong connections with extended family. We feel kindly towards everyone, and we always attend weddings, funerals (not the ones during the pandemic, sadly), etc. But the goodwill is there because we do think family is important, not because we grew up with relatives.

[Anonymous]

OP, you don't have to like all your family members, and some friends can be your "family". But generally, as the saying goes, "blood is thicker than water", and generally, in most families, family members are the ones to be there till the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to like all your family members, and some friends can be your "family". But generally, as the saying goes, "blood is thicker than water", and generally, in most families, family members are the ones to be there till the end.

Exactly. We have close friends we spend weekends and vacations with, and we help each other out for small things and call ourselves “family.” But if there’s a situation where we need a lot of help, especially financial, they’re not going to be there for us and we won’t for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love and acceptance
Familiarity
Duty and responsibility
Shared histories
Flesh and Blood

That is why my own family (nuclear and extended) is important to me. Nobody else in the world I share those things with in that way.

Agree with all these.

Also, I’m not like you, OP - I was an army brat and moved growing up, and then later through schooling and jobs until marriage/nuclear family was created - so I don’t have that same continuity of people knowing me since I was a child that you do. The people that knew me back when are my blood relatives. I don’t know what it’s like to live in a place and grow deep roots although I’m hoping to create that now for my kids.

OP here: I can’t say that I lived in one place and grew deep roots. Moved from country of origin at 2, moved around at least four times before the age of 8, stayed there until college and moved right after.

OK, well age 8 to college age is a nice chunk of time - I didn’t have that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to like all your family members, and some friends can be your "family". But generally, as the saying goes, "blood is thicker than water", and generally, in most families, family members are the ones to be there till the end.

Exactly. We have close friends we spend weekends and vacations with, and we help each other out for small things and call ourselves “family.” But if there’s a situation where we need a lot of help, especially financial, they’re not going to be there for us and we won’t for them.

+1 Most people feel a duty and need to help out blood relatives that they simply don’t for friends, even close ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of people I am related to by birth and grew up with and know them in adulthood. I am somewhat close to some, others I do not care for. I enjoy the company of people I am not related to by miles above those I am related to. I also am inspired/ look up to these people, and I do not feel the same about most of my family.

I could take or leave the idea of family (meaning relatives). Why do some people put such importance of family?

Omg, take your Bs troll posts back to the politics board. Or open up some Random Philosophy comment board elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of us like our relatives as we’ve spent our entire lives connected to them and have many wonderful memories.

This.

Do you not get that OP or just having a lonely day online?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to like all your family members, and some friends can be your "family". But generally, as the saying goes, "blood is thicker than water", and generally, in most families, family members are the ones to be there till the end.

Exactly. We have close friends we spend weekends and vacations with, and we help each other out for small things and call ourselves “family.” But if there’s a situation where we need a lot of help, especially financial, they’re not going to be there for us and we won’t for them.

+1 Most people feel a duty and need to help out blood relatives that they simply don’t for friends, even close ones.

I don’t think western culture has a “duty to “help out” blood relatives.” Only in emergencies and where people are not being taken advantage of.

People are thankful for their experiences and shared family tree and like to get together when they can. Family is one of their friend orbits in adult life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love and acceptance
Familiarity
Duty and responsibility
Shared histories
Flesh and Blood

That is why my own family (nuclear and extended) is important to me. Nobody else in the world I share those things with in that way.

All of this. People are generally tribal in nature too. It's hard to change that. If your family isn't dysfunctional, even better.

[Anonymous]

Commitment and trust pays dividends.

People who think they can throw away marriage, family, tradition, culture, government and create something better from scratch are always wrong.

This is the Conservative vs Progressive dialectic.
Reactionary Fundamentalism is bad because it is impossible to improve. Complete Anarchy is bad because it's chaos where nothing can be achieved. Conservatives and Progresses are different positions in the middle, seeking a balance between tradition and change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of people I am related to by birth and grew up with and know them in adulthood. I am somewhat close to some, others I do not care for. I enjoy the company of people I am not related to by miles above those I am related to. I also am inspired/ look up to these people, and I do not feel the same about most of my family.

I could take or leave the idea of family (meaning relatives). Why do some people put such importance of family?

Omg, take your Bs troll posts back to the politics board. Or open up some Random Philosophy comment board elsewhere.

Seek help to regulate your emotions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of people I am related to by birth and grew up with and know them in adulthood. I am somewhat close to some, others I do not care for. I enjoy the company of people I am not related to by miles above those I am related to. I also am inspired/ look up to these people, and I do not feel the same about most of my family.

I could take or leave the idea of family (meaning relatives). Why do some people put such importance of family?

How old are you?

Are you beautiful?

Did your parents care for you as a child, or were you an orphan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of people I am related to by birth and grew up with and know them in adulthood. I am somewhat close to some, others I do not care for. I enjoy the company of people I am not related to by miles above those I am related to. I also am inspired/ look up to these people, and I do not feel the same about most of my family.

I could take or leave the idea of family (meaning relatives). Why do some people put such importance of family?

How old are you?

Are you beautiful?

Did your parents care for you as a child, or were you an orphan?

And are you in the demographics that high status strangers prefer to treat well and befriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of people I am related to by birth and grew up with and know them in adulthood. I am somewhat close to some, others I do not care for. I enjoy the company of people I am not related to by miles above those I am related to. I also am inspired/ look up to these people, and I do not feel the same about most of my family.

I could take or leave the idea of family (meaning relatives). Why do some people put such importance of family?

This is easy. All those feelings you feel towards others, people actually feel towards their families. Get it now?

So you don’t have any addicts or narcissists or just general a*^&holes in your family? Genuine follow-up question.

DP here - No, I really don’t. Everyone in my immediate and extended family is generally kind and well meaning. Obviously I click better with certain people, but we are fortunate to not have anyone that I dislike. I’m sure the absence of addiction issues and other generation traumas is a huge help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to like all your family members, and some friends can be your "family". But generally, as the saying goes, "blood is thicker than water", and generally, in most families, family members are the ones to be there till the end.

Exactly. We have close friends we spend weekends and vacations with, and we help each other out for small things and call ourselves “family.” But if there’s a situation where we need a lot of help, especially financial, they’re not going to be there for us and we won’t for them.

+1 Most people feel a duty and need to help out blood relatives that they simply don’t for friends, even close ones.

I don’t think western culture has a “duty to “help out” blood relatives.” Only in emergencies and where people are not being taken advantage of.

I do. Agree to disagree I guess.