I find this annoying , but don't feel I can ask friend to stop

[Anonymous]

I'd text once about an hour before meeting time and write something like "hi, I'll see you at 9am at the cafe. I'm going to be running around and won't have my notifications up" and then it go. Put her on mute beforehand thereafter.

[Anonymous]

I think she is just letting you know she is there and has secured the table. I don't think it is a demand for you to hurry up. Text, "Ok, I will be there at 6" or whatever time

[Anonymous]

You do need to unwind a bit if this stresses you out.

[Anonymous]

I’m a little like this, though not quite so early. It’s not about any expectations she has of you, it’s about a pathological fear of being late herself. I text to let my friends know I’m there purely for informational purposes, not to elicit an ensuing result from them.

[Anonymous]

So you're anxious because your anxious friend has arrived early and texted you?

Change your. thinking that this is a problem and have compassion for you both.

[Anonymous]

Ignore. How about you silence your phone when you're driving. When you get there *on time* then you learn that she texted.

Neither of us is driving - we live in the city and it would be too stressful to find parking. But I think the person who suggested she arrives early due to anxiety about being late may be on to something - I had not thought of that perspective.

[Anonymous]

You sound ridiculous. She is a person that is early — that is no big deal. She is letting you know she is there so you will be on the lookout for her — that is also no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Dude... things can annoy you. You'll be alright. The only reason to say anything about this is that your own frustration/annoyance tolerance is so incredibly low that someone being early and communicative is too much for you. The reason you don't feel you can ask your friend to stop is that, on some level, you recognize it's not a problem. View it as an opportunity to breathe and value how reliable your friend is.

And then see a therapist about how to manage your excessive reaction(s) to minor annoyances.

[Anonymous]

She is a person that is early — that is no big deal. She is letting you know she is there so you will be on the lookout for her — that is also no big deal.

If the reservation is in her name or her friend's name, what is there to "be on the lookout" for?

[Anonymous]

Better early than late. If she's late, you'd be complaining about that.

Can't win with you unless she's exactly on time it appears.

[Anonymous]

OP must have a very easy life if THIS is what stresses you...a friends who arrives early to hang out and simply lets you know.

Real first world problems...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is just letting you know she is there so you know to look for her when you get there. I doubt it is a summons for you to immediately show up. Maybe you could turn your. notifications off next time so it does not bother you. Or - if she is a good friend just tell her it stresses you out.

This. Or tell her a later time.

[Anonymous]

“Hey, just so you know, I’m going to be there on time, but I’m going to be there right at 7. If you get there early, know I’ll be there on time, but I won’t be there early.”

[Anonymous]

You both have anxiety. If she arrives that early she likely has a fear of being late. You can only work on yourself.

If the text stresses you out talk to a therapist. I would not mention anything to my friend.

Behavior like this doesn't stress me out. What does stress me out is people who are routinely late. I once waited 90 mins for 2 friends to show at a restaurant. I was mad.

[Anonymous]

Can't you just hit the thumbs up button and forget about it?
She's just telling you that she's there. (My friends and I do this when we meet up somewhere, though no one is usually early).