Have you ever been dropped by a friend when they met a guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve actually had the opposite experience, where a friend has completely stopped talking to me when I started seeing someone.
It’s happened three times, and I still don’t understand it.

If you’re like 08:59, that’s the reason. I’m surprised she was the “dropper.”

[Anonymous]

No, but I’ve been falsely accused of it and it’s an accusation that really, really hurts.

I had a good group of girlfriends in my mid-20s when I met my husband. Most of them were understanding that I would have less time to see them (there are literally only 24h in a day), but saw and appreciated that I was still making and keeping brunches, girls’ nights etc. And I did the same for them when they were in serious relationships.

One in particular said I was dropping her because I had a new boyfriend and she never thought I would be *that* girl. I’ll never forget the gymnastics I went through to maintain the friendship before one day realizing her accusation was self serving. Once I flew back home, dropped my bags, darted to a restaurant for dinner with her. She still
complained. The friendship ended shortly after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you reached out to her and asked? That's what I'd do. Or if you don't want to be confrontational -- reach out and make a plan. What was "awkward" about the dinner? We need more insight.

I did reach out when I sensed her pulling away (texting less, etc.) I invited her to a movie and again out to dinner. She declined both times. It began to feel very one-sided, so I stopped reaching out.

As for why the dinner was awkward: They could only meet on a Sunday at 5. It took forever to get her to commit to a time, at that. We went to a restaurant that was barely a restaurant -- more like a cafe with a few seats and super slow service (this friend and I used to love trying fun, big new spots). Both of them declared the evening over after an hour - it was clear it was NOT a priority for them to be there. It felt odd and hurtful.

I did something similar when my kids were born. I had no family in this country, was bouncing a toddler and post-graduate degree, then another pregnancy, a toddler, new born and new job. I simply had only so many hours in a day to take care of kids, myself (I continued going to gym) and my relationship with husband. My closest friends at that time were either not married, or married with no kids. I tried to re-connect later, in 5 years maybe, when our live became less hectic, but by that time one of my friends had a baby and she was less available.

[Anonymous]

No I got married and my best friend dropped me just like that.

[Anonymous]

Had a best friend who never had time for me when she had a boyfriend. So irritating. Another close friend simply not interested bc I am not prestigious or successful enough for her life now.

[Anonymous]

I think it's hard for married women to maintain friendships with single women. It's not popular to say this. But I had a group of friends and most of them were chronically single. The single ladies had expectations that were really difficult to meet. If you're married with small children, devoting a day every other weekend to them is actually a massive chunk of time and too much for most married women to commit to.

These days, I'm friends with women who are basically compatible with me in terms of lifestyle. They are moms and wives, and we get together maybe every 6 weeks. That's literally all I want to commit to.