Job-like level of losses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I have a year like that spanning 2011-12. I don’t remember the next year at all as if my brain just stopped doing anything but keeping my body alive.

I did lose faith a bit that year. I cut everything out of my life that wasn’t essential, and that included some activities and friends I used to love and enjoy. I also made some big choices that were probably too fast and too reactive. When I could not see a purpose for myself or understand how I fit into the world, I tried to force it by making aggressive and now-regretted changes thinking that was where god was leading me. I think I should have sat with the despair and grief rather than trying to react it away.

I was so hurt and exhausted that my prayers had become just the word “help” over and over. The only sign I had that god existed was a stray dog that showed up in my yard. In the terrible times that followed the acute tragedies, that dog was a sign that I wasn’t going to be left alone.

If all else fails, try just a simple prayer for help.

OP, I know there will be a sign for you.

I hope you and your dog are doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To fellow Christians

I do not say this lightly--this year, 2023, I feel like I have experienced Job-like level of losses (relative to me), meaning serious, grave losses in multiple areas, unexpectedly, spread out througout the year. Loss of parents, loss of home in a natural disaster, a move that took me away from friends and associates who were dear.

I can handle the bad memories, but the good memories are a nightmare come to life (or I guess you can say a good dream that ends every day)--I remember the good things I lost, I had them all last year, and this year, I do not have them, if only I could go back in time. But of course I can't. But this time last year, 12/20/22, I had them all-it is too much to bear to comprehend, but the thoughts take my every moment.

This feels like the end of happiness and joy. 2022 and before and 2023 and after, a major cleave.

I know we serve a good, just, loving God who has made himself know to us through Christ and has reconciled us to him through Christ. Trials are for my good. In the grand scheme of creation I am just a part and what I go through of course us just part of the "butterfly effect". We are living in the period between Christ's time on Earth and when he returns, and we know that this time is hard on Earth.

But I still need to live day to day by faith. And I am tired and sad and feel selfish at how I feel.

Can anyone relate and give insight on how you got through this.

I called this part of my life 2010-2011. I lost everything. I literally thought I was Job too. I built back better. So can you. Have faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Count your blessings.

Do you truly believe this helpful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To fellow Christians

I do not say this lightly--this year, 2023, I feel like I have experienced Job-like level of losses (relative to me), meaning serious, grave losses in multiple areas, unexpectedly, spread out througout the year. Loss of parents, loss of home in a natural disaster, a move that took me away from friends and associates who were dear.

I can handle the bad memories, but the good memories are a nightmare come to life (or I guess you can say a good dream that ends every day)--I remember the good things I lost, I had them all last year, and this year, I do not have them, if only I could go back in time. But of course I can't. But this time last year, 12/20/22, I had them all-it is too much to bear to comprehend, but the thoughts take my every moment.

This feels like the end of happiness and joy. 2022 and before and 2023 and after, a major cleave.

I know we serve a good, just, loving God who has made himself know to us through Christ and has reconciled us to him through Christ. Trials are for my good. In the grand scheme of creation I am just a part and what I go through of course us just part of the "butterfly effect". We are living in the period between Christ's time on Earth and when he returns, and we know that this time is hard on Earth.

But I still need to live day to day by faith. And I am tired and sad and feel selfish at how I feel.

Can anyone relate and give insight on how you got through this.

I called this part of my life 2010-2011. I lost everything. I literally thought I was Job too. I built back better. So can you. Have faith.

Thank you. Did you ever get to a point where you were not thinking about your losses every second of the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any brothers or sisters to talk with? Your spouse? How far away did you move, can you try to go back occasionally to see your old friends, can they visit you? If you are hurting badly, your kids must be too. Maybe you could find a family therapist to help work on these issues. When a person is as depressed and sad as you are, their kids suffer alot. Please make sure you get your kids therapy and look out for their mental health too. Think about them, they need a happy and present parent.

No siblings no kids no husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I’m am so sorry for your losses. The way you are feeling is valid.

Try to focus on taking one step at a time. Some days this might mean simply forcing yourself to get out of bed. Never forget that incremental advances lead to big changes.

Pray for wisdom and strength, and trust that God will carry you through, because He will.

Be careful to surround yourself with positive people and media that lift you up. We’re an easy target for darkness when we’re already down.

And remember that our troubles are for a season. There’s a great Bible in a Year podcast if you like podcasts. I listened to that a lot and it was a good tool.

Last but not least, don’t overlook the value of grief counseling. I developed PTSD from my parent’s tragic death and wish I would have found help sooner. Sometimes we need tools in order to heal.

Sending you prayers, love and light. I promise next year will get better.

Thank you for wise words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/lost-child-job-made-sense/?amp

Here is the story of a parent who faced great loss and that parent considering Job as you are.

I see an unkind post made by a person who (a) presumes to speak for God and (b) horribly and falsely blames you for your losses. (a) no one can speak for God. The person speaking for God should not speak for God, and does NOT speak for God. They are assuming they know God’s will (impossible) and that they know God’s plan (impossible, again.) Please don’t listen to people who think they can authoritatively speak for God or people who are operating under the delusion they know God’s will for you. They usually try to manipulate you emotionally and sometimes financially. (b) you have done nothing to cause your losses. You can’t earn good things in life with perfect behavior and good deeds; nor do you get punished for being what society or God perceives and defines as bad. Sometimes people who act bad and evil have great lives, and God does not bless evil. The world is broken. Nevertheless, as the poster above deems themselves an authority to tell you your behavior led to your losses, I encourage you to pose this question of a trusted friend, a trusted pastor, a reputable and educated counselor or therapist. You will be told by all those people that you did not cause your parents to die because God wanted to punish you, and for you to live better so you won’t be punished by loss to learn things, again Your parents died because they were old, or sick, or had been injured in an accident and medical personnel could not save them. You are not being taught a lesson, because your parents passed away. You lost a home because of a flood or fire or wind event . I am shocked someone would blame a grieving person for their parent’s death and other deeply troubling losses in life when they are asking for help. They probably had inflexible and unkind parents (sorry pp) and were raised in a parental environment that stressed punishment and discipline and the importance of being good as a way of controlling their behavior. That’s not Biblical teaching. Take care and ignore people who are blaming you for the unavoidable losses that occur in all our lives.

Thank you. Yes we live in a fallen world and creation is groaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any brothers or sisters to talk with? Your spouse? How far away did you move, can you try to go back occasionally to see your old friends, can they visit you? If you are hurting badly, your kids must be too. Maybe you could find a family therapist to help work on these issues. When a person is as depressed and sad as you are, their kids suffer alot. Please make sure you get your kids therapy and look out for their mental health too. Think about them, they need a happy and present parent.

No siblings no kids no husband.

Your parents both died in the same year, you lost your home with no insurance to replace it, and you have no brothers, sisters, or husband/boyfriend? Were you injured mentally or physically by the natural disaster that destroyed your home? You can’t rebuild or sell the land? Do you have a therapist? Do you have any friends where you live? Are you renting an apartment and have neighbors? Pets?