Why isn’t it socially acceptable to sit out of board games?

[Anonymous]

I like board games--love cards. But, some of these games have gotten complicated. If it takes me more than 10 minutes to figure it out, I do not want to play.

[Anonymous]

I'm a big board gamer.

Now, I'll say that I have a friend that I know doesn't like board games, so I never suggest playing when she's over. So, if you make your feelings known and your friends aren't dingbats, this problem should solve itself. But beware, there's stuff you're not going to get invited to if you don't want to play games.

But - if you are at a gathering, let's say it's five other people or something, and there's a "what do you want to do?" discussion and people suggest board games, you can (and should) say "nah, I'd much rather talk or maybe we could have a dance party. I don't like board games." But if you lose and everyone decides they want to play a board game, I think you should suck it up.

If you do have a dance party, doesn't it kill the vibe a bit if someone is like "Oh, I'll just stand here and listen to the music?" Or if you decide to watch a movie and someone says "oh, I don't like this movie" and sits with their back to the movie. It's weird. If you're not playing and you're just sitting and chatting, your rhythms are different than the players. And it reeks of "I didn't get the activity I wanted so I'm pouting." Be a come along guy. Just play.

Oh and the WORST is if you sit there quietly during the "what should we do" discussion and then AFTER a board game is decided say "oh, nah, I'll just watch." If you don't want to play SPEAK UP during the discussion.

[Anonymous]

I hate them. My spouse loves them. He can play, not me.

[Anonymous]

I find the people most into board games have the least social skills and are generally anxious, nervous people. They are attracted to board games because they love the rules and boundaries that give them cover for awkwardness. The rules and boundaries are great for teaching children but definitely makes a painful night for adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like board games--love cards. But, some of these games have gotten complicated. If it takes me more than 10 minutes to figure it out, I do not want to play.

I already have a full time job don't need to learn another "competency" for something I am not getting paid for.
-Another board game hater

[Anonymous]

I have this issues, as well, but I know it's because the people who do this don't want to feel there is a time limit on how long they can play hanging over their heads. It makes it less enjoyable for them and can't just ignore me.

We have learned it's just not a good fit to hang out together when they want to play and I don't.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to play you shouldn't be invited.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way about dancing. If I sit out, I get asked what's wrong. If I dance I get laughed at (not by everyone, but some people love to point out how uncoordinated I am. So it ends up not fun for me). Why can I just sit out and enjoy the music, people watching, and conversation?

[Anonymous]

I hate them (only exception is scrabble). And cards. My mother insists on every single family holiday to end with cards. At 50 I finally put my foot down. No more. I hate them. I will sit at the table and hang out if I want. Or I will chill out in front of the tv with my dad.

No more command performances!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a big board gamer.

Now, I'll say that I have a friend that I know doesn't like board games, so I never suggest playing when she's over. So, if you make your feelings known and your friends aren't dingbats, this problem should solve itself. But beware, there's stuff you're not going to get invited to if you don't want to play games.

But - if you are at a gathering, let's say it's five other people or something, and there's a "what do you want to do?" discussion and people suggest board games, you can (and should) say "nah, I'd much rather talk or maybe we could have a dance party. I don't like board games." But if you lose and everyone decides they want to play a board game, I think you should suck it up.

If you do have a dance party, doesn't it kill the vibe a bit if someone is like "Oh, I'll just stand here and listen to the music?" Or if you decide to watch a movie and someone says "oh, I don't like this movie" and sits with their back to the movie. It's weird. If you're not playing and you're just sitting and chatting, your rhythms are different than the players. And it reeks of "I didn't get the activity I wanted so I'm pouting." Be a come along guy. Just play.

Oh and the WORST is if you sit there quietly during the "what should we do" discussion and then AFTER a board game is decided say "oh, nah, I'll just watch." If you don't want to play SPEAK UP during the discussion.

This is why I don’t like people who are big board gamers.

I like playing board games, but this attitude is really immature. No, it does not kill the vibe if someone decides to listen to music instead of dance, just like it doesn’t kill the vibe if someone decides to sit and socialize but not play a game. Why on earth would you think they’re pouting?

Nor is someone obligated to play a game that requires a certain number of players. It is not rude to decide not to play. There are not enough players. Play something else.

[Anonymous]

I think it's different if there is more than one person not playing. It's when it's just one person who doesn't want to play that it's awkward. But still, there the is a time limit on how long people can play. (Or dance!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. I didn’t realize that there were people who hated them. You should do an AMA.

I like games, but I absolutely loathe playing with certain types of people. So I avoid playing with them. These are the same types who bully others into playing with them. A little light pressure like “are you sure? We’d love to have you!” is fine, but making a huge scene when someone says “no thanks” means you’re gonna play like a jerk too. And make it less fun for everyone else. I’ve found the bullies also don’t know when to call a game off that has ceased being fun.

So yeah, it’s fine to decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's different if there is more than one person not playing. It's when it's just one person who doesn't want to play that it's awkward. But still, there the is a time limit on how long people can play. (Or dance!)

Why is it awkward? If it’s not awkward for the person not playing, why the hell is it awkward for the others who are? They didn’t want to play. They are fine to sit and watch and chit chat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't want to play you shouldn't be invited.

Got it, game haters! You losers shouldn’t be invited anywhere on the chance someone may break out the Parcheesi! STAY HOME, this is all your fault!

[Anonymous]

I don't trust people who don't like games. Or dogs. Or the beach.