Should a 25 year old be able to make to make his own bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be treating him like a roommate. His bed is up to him. Yes, he should be contributing to household with money, chores or both.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

I don't make my bed and I'm a 54 year old woman.

I can. I just don't.

[Anonymous]

Sit down and talk about ways to contribute around the house. It may not happen on your perfect timeline or way you wish. If the bed distresses you, request the door stays closed more.

[Anonymous]

I lived back at my mom’s house for a while in my early 20s. I didn’t have to pay rent, but there were rules. I had to be home by a certain time or not come home, because I woke her up coming home late and she didn’t like that. I had chores I was responsible for. I cooked dinner for us twice a week. And I had to make my bed every day and keep my room reasonably straightened. She didn’t like the door to the bedroom being closed, and she didn’t like seeing the mess.

The rules all seemed reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old launders and changes his own sheets sometimes, so, yeah.

[Anonymous]

Who cares if the bed is made? I imagine this person is trying to get out of your house asap as it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 25 year old should also be able to expect privacy in his own room and to make his own decision about whether or not to make his bed.

Asking him to help in common areas or outdoors, or to pay rent or contribute to utilities is reasonable.

+1 I stopped telling my HSers to make their beds. They did religiously until HS because I made them. At some point, they can live with the mess that is their room.

If they want their rooms cleaned by the cleaners, they need to straighten out their room so the cleaners can actually clean (crap off the floor, and surface areas tidy).

If my 25 yr old lived with me and had a job, I'd make them pay rent.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35 and I CAN make my own bed, but I usually don't. Nobody is going in my room, except myself and my husband, and neither of us care if the bed is made.

Maybe your son doesn't care. Is there a reason you're in his room? Is his bed in a public part of the house where guests might see it? If not, then leave it alone.

But, yes, he's 25 and has a job, so he can help out around the house and/or pay you rent.

[Anonymous]

No, he doesn't need to make his bed.

Helping around the house is nice, but that depends upon the expectations that were set when he was allowed to move home. Was that such an expectation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should a 25 year old be able to make to make his own bed?
Is it rude to ask him to help around the house?
Works full time and has a good job....

Just ask them to keep the door closed. You could've trained or disciplined them when they were a child but it's too late for that. Now, all you can do is either ignore it or you ask them to clean room cleaned if they want to live here or move out. Eventually, they'll move out anyways. Not a suitable hill for your relationship to die on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, he doesn't need to make his bed.

Helping around the house is nice, but that depends upon the expectations that were set when he was allowed to move home. Was that such an expectation?

Even if the expectations weren’t set when he moved home, there’s no reason those expectations of what he contributes can’t be changed after the fact. If he doesn’t like the changed expectations, he can always move out.

[Anonymous]

Well, technically everyone above 10 can make their bed. Just watch few you tube videos for how to and tick tock for easy hacks.

That being said, also technically, if one is changing bedding once a month, they are fine. There is no real need to make bed whatsoever.

My parents made beds everyday and i started seeing it as a necessity of life so i can't leave bed messy. My children also saw me and their father making beds everyday but they see it as an unnecessary hassle in life and see nothing wrong with a messy bed as long as linens are washed regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 25 year old should also be able to expect privacy in his own room and to make his own decision about whether or not to make his bed.

Asking him to help in common areas or outdoors, or to pay rent or contribute to utilities is reasonable.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

A 25 year old with a good job should be living in their own apartment (or with roommates) unless there are some extenuating circumstances.

Yes, a 25 year old SHOULD be able to make his own bed since that is a basic life skill. He should also be able to do laundry, cook a meal, vacuum, clean a bathroom, etc. Hopefully you taught him all that as a child. Whether he is obligated to do any of that while living as an adult in your house is between the two of you to discuss.

[Anonymous]

If living at home, a 25 year old should:

- completely clean up after themselves, all the time
- do their own laundry, including sheets/bedding (and promptly remove it from machines)
- do chores, yardwork, contribute to cooking, cleaning, and simple household expenses (grocery, internet/phone bill, etc)

If not, the adult child should be paying rent. If they pay rent, that may give them *some* exemptions like not making his bed.